Im terrified that Im going to end up alone.

shy_miss_fly · Nov 24, 2005

Im 19 years old, and my mom says that in about a year, im going to have to move out because money is really tight and we have to sell the house. My mom wants to move across the country to go live with some guy she's in love with and brother is going to be moving out soon too. And thats all the family I have and I have no friends. Im soooo scarde that Im going to end up all alone living by myself. Ive been stressing about this alot and pretty much crying myself to sleep every night. I dont know what to do.

scatmantom · Nov 24, 2005

My parents made me go to University!

I was so so scared, but it was the best thing i ever did!

I live 4 hours from home, and altho the first week was tough now im happy. Its been 3 years now.

Living away from home may help your anxiety as you will without a doubt become more confident.
As for friends, Im sure you will meet new people. I used to think i would be a loner at university, but since moving out ive met my best friends, people I hav lots in common with. It will be a stressfull time...but if you persevere you will get thru it and come out the other side Strong.

Good luck

allanboy · Nov 24, 2005

HAHA, just like the other post from someone who went to live alone. The house is all to yourself! Just think of everything you can do now, talk to yourself, enjoy some (loud) music, test your pyrotechniques without hiding, getting home drunk with nothing to be answered.

You will be the lord of all creation, you´ll see

jamez · Nov 24, 2005

I would love to be living alone. Basically anything goes, the only thing in my way is a certain thing called money.

Chilling__Echo · Nov 24, 2005

i am very very scared of being alone... i feel ya hun, you'll be ok though. you'll figure something out. maybe try putting in an ad for roommates?

if i were you, i'd look for a place sooner so it's not such a shock to have you're family go away and having to adjust to a new home at the same time

lawyerguy · Nov 24, 2005

I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life as well...I live alone right now..I like it..you don't have to compromise at all..and you can do whatever you want without having to worry about any one else's feelings..but it does get lonely and I don't think I would like this to be a permanent state of things.

justsomebloke25 · Nov 25, 2005

I'm the same. I could afford to finally move out of my parents house but the thought of living on my own is so depressing...........going home every night to an empty house...........shopping on my own............eating on my own..........sitting around the house watching TV every night with no one to speak to.........I think i'd last about a month before I reached for the razor blades

shy_miss_fly · Nov 25, 2005

justsomebloke25 said:
I'm the same. I could afford to finally move out of my parents house but the thought of living on my own is so depressing...........going home every night to an empty house...........shopping on my own............eating on my own..........sitting around the house watching TV every night with no one to speak to.........I think i'd last about a month before I reached for the razor blades

Yes, that exactly how I feel, I dont think I can do it. Maybe living with a roomate wouldnt be so bad, but how do you find a good one? or one that you can trust?

kiwi · Nov 26, 2005

I live on my own, and have done for about 7 years. When I first left home, there were times when I felt incredibly lonely and really didn't know what to do with myself on the weekends. But after I while I got used to it and have loved living alone ever since.

For me to live with other people, I would have to already know and like those people first. I could never just get a roommate who I don't know. Given that 95% of people I meet I don't end up liking, the odds aren't in my favour of finding someone I could enjoy living with.

The other reason I wouldn't want to share my place with others is because they would see how little I go out. I would be embarrassed at being home all the time!

If I were you, I'd try living on your own for a few months and see how it goes. You will feel lonely initially, but hopefully that will pass. Just try and find things to keep yourself occupied. If you still don't like living on your own, then try putting an ad in your local paper and see if you can find anyone you like.

Horatio · Nov 26, 2005

kiwi said:
For me to live with other people, I would have to already know and like those people first. I could never just get a roommate who I don't know. Given that 95% of people I meet I don't end up liking, the odds aren't in my favour of finding someone I could enjoy living with.

I have always lived with randoms since I left home 3 years ago or so, I absolutely hate it but do it to save money as I cant really afford to live by myself AND get therapy.

my best way of coping is to lock the door to my room when Im home and yeah pretty much lock myself in, only coming out to use the bathroom and only using the kitchen when either everyone else is out or after everyone else is asleep

I guess my perfect enviroment would be if I could find somewhere with a sleepout to rent with own bathroom which would be cheaper than getting my own place and would still share the power/phone bill

TwoYellowSocks · Nov 30, 2005

What a great oportunity you have! I think we often behave in certain ways because that's what the people around us have come to expect and our surroundings sort of trigger the same reactions to things...but now you have a chance to re-invent yourself! The new people around you (roomates, people in the building, etc) won't have any pre-conceived ideas about who you are or what you're like, and although I know how hard it can be, if push yourself to be a little more social, this move to new surroundings can jumpstart all sorts of wonderful changes in your social behavior.

I am so excited for you!

arrina · Dec 5, 2005

personally I think your mum should be more supportive! I moved out last year when I was eighteen in pretty much the same situation. I dont really have any propper friends and i do get quiet depressed at times. If your busy with collage or uni and share a flat with a few people its better i think even if your not best pals you have famillier faces. Isolateing your self is a very bad idea. Also Its a good idea to do something like yoga or meditation to relax it helps me quite a lot. I dont know if you go to college yet but i suggest you mabe go and see the counceler its nice to talk to some one non judgemental even just so you know they are there if you really need some support sometime. Im sure your mum would take you back or your brother would help you if you have a really hard time. I Understand how you feel I wish you the best of luck and try not to get to depressed about it. Look up some interesting courses you could do next year all the best

blight · Dec 5, 2005

I don't know if you are thinking of going to college, but that may be an easy solution to your situation. College is really not very hard at all, depending on where you go, and unless you absolutely HATE studying I don't think there would be any problem with it.

I'm not sure about Canada, but in the States you can get into public schools very easily and don't need a lot of money upfront. All you have to do is apply for Federal Loans at the same time you apply to the school and they are very low interest and can be paid back over a long period of time (starting after you finish). And college can be a lot of fun and I'm sure you would find people you can be friends with there.

shy_miss_fly · Dec 5, 2005

Yeah, im acually already done with college. I took a 10 month program and got my legal administration certificate. So now im working as a legal secretary. But thanks for the advice anyway. I am currently looking for a therapist to seek support and i think that might help out alot. Ive been doing alot of thinking about this, and try and stay positive about living on my own and now it acually doesnt sound so bad. It might be a really good experience for me.

Chilling__Echo · Dec 5, 2005

yeah, you never know where you'll end up. you know how when you worry and worry and worry and AGONIZE over something for so long, then it happens and you didn't expect it to end up the way it did? maybe not good or bad, just different... you konw? right now you have no idea where you'll end up and it may be someplace good!

change is inevitable, go with the flow, don't stress darlin (((hugs)))

LittleMissScareAll · Dec 7, 2005

I'd love to live alone...well, it's gotta be better than living with complete strangers or people you don't trust. When I do move(IF I ever get to) I want to get a place of my own...no roommates or anything...I'm too paranoid and people hate me WAY too much for that, anyway.
Plus I have to have a certain amount of time to myself or else I'd go crazy(even crazier than I already am).

LittleMissScareAll · Dec 7, 2005

I do want to take a cat with me though...that way I'll have some company...GOOD company...at least I won't have to worry about a cat stealing my stuff or turning against me, and talking all the time...only bad thing is, the cat won't be able to pay half the rent.

Im terrified that Im going to end up alone.

shy_miss_fly

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