Impulse Buying/Retail Therapy

This has been a new development, scoring a big contract and getting 50% payrise has certainly made it possible but Im by no means rich and can't afford to do this if I want long term financial security.

Is retail therapy really a legit and effective way to cope with socialphobia/depression or is this just another one of my twisted attempts to sabotage myself so I end up homeless again and prove to myself that I really am a loser?

I used to always think carefully and thoroughly before making any purchase, in fact I probably used to think TOO much before spending any sum over $20, but in the last few months I have noticed an alarming trend in my spending habits. By coincidence the last three months or so have been particulary lonely for me so I suspect the two are one in the same.

In the last fortnight I have spent $100 on junk food (normal for me) $150 on alcohol, $200 on DVD's and music, $150 on clothes (needed warm jackets cause its bloody freezing) and only just managed to stop myself from booking a flight to Hawaii. (The travel agent had his finger on the book flight button when I had second thoughts) $60 on Taxis, $40 on order in pizzas, $20 on a Novel and $30 on a self help book

now that adds up to a very scary amount and I know it was stupid of me but it was all impulse. I should be saving my money so I have something to fall back on when this contract is over, or for a decent holiday in summer, or a new computer to replace this antique or a mail order bride, not fritter it away on things to try to make me feel good.

the fucked up thing though is that it actually works... somehow I dont feel quite as lonely when Im spending money like that :?

Im scared this will become another attempt to overcome my mental/social problem that will come back to haunt me but hopefully this is just a mid winter mad phase that will pass.

anyone else ever spend money on luxuries to try to compensate for lack of friends/love/pleasure/fun? or am I the only weirdo in that department?

I used to spend money like water when I ran a partnership, now I'm too ill to work and on benefits, cant say I was any happier when I had money and was spending it than I am now...struggling to pay bills

things I find theraputic are countryside walks, kareoke and meeting up with my SP/SA mates who live local ,we go window shopping, cinema and have meals and drinks together (and its OK to eat with your hand over your mouth and not look at the other person when your eating)

I always spend loads on Ebay,i looked back at my total for the month in my profile on Ebay and it was something like £650 8O i think the reason i do it is to give me something to look forward too, it gives me a reason to look forward to going home at night wondering if anything has arrived

I also got a £4500 loan about 3 months ago,why did i get? well i dont even know :roll: i just though if i had money it would make me feel better but it dosent and most of it is still sitting in the bank :roll:

i do this!! i always have something out there to find and go shopping everyday. i'm with you guys, i've recently been introduced to ebay and spent waaay too much :lol: i stick to buying jewlry... but when i get depressed, i always always always go shopping...bad habit. sorry to hear that Horatio but hopefully you can find a happy medium!

i do that loads...i get my allowance every two weeks..and i just go shopping..and spend it all..most of the time i come home and im like 'wtf did i buy that for?' its annoying cos i really dont have thatg much money..but im just really bad at it. i used to have £100 mobile phone bills every month, but thank the lord ive cut that doiwn to £10 (i used to be on contract) so im bad with texting aswell (that doesnt make me nervous, its much better than phoning)

Goodness, you guys have my same problem with shopping. :lol:

Is good to know that I am not alone. I also have learned to limit myself and not go over board. The stress of not having money to pay other important bills is a worse than the few minutes of joy I get from buying something nice. Plus, most of the time, after I get home, I don't even see the need for whatever it is I bought. I have so much stuff in my closet, that my hubby doesn't even know about, that has never even been used. :roll:

Cassie said:

Horatio said:

but Im by no means rich and can't afford to do this if I want long term financial security.

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Fuck that! I'm just gana live day ta day, and I'm gana spend my money, and be as happy as I can. I mean tomorrow I could go out and get hit by a bus, what good is money gana do me then!!

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in the past when I was carefree with my money I ended up homeless. Sleeping on the streets and not knowing where your next meal is coming from is not something I want to repeat. Luckily for me I only had to live like that for a short time but I would like to have the financial security to know I can pay my bills for a number of months even without any income.

my latest spending habits are endangering that security. Spent $140 on alcohol last night alone, fuck I have to stop this!

around about this time last year, lived out of a bag for a month and half before sucking my pride in and moving back with my parents where I pretty much stayed in my bedroom for 5 months

SP/SAD, a little money, and a computer = Ebay habit.

Yikes!!

This is the mother in me talking - STOP SPENDING ON NOTHING!!!! If your gonna spend money to make yourself feel good at least have a long term life goal with it ie: dresser for your own home when you move out. I'm much older than many of you on this forum and I've seen the long term results of this behaviour....it's terrible, sad, and difficult to come out from underneath; being financially destitute with no personal direction when you are 40/50/60/70 is no barrel of laughs...and.....No one will have ANY sympathy for you - or help - when you get old if have made no plans. SP should not be used as an excuse to put your life on hold. So, if you don't have a direction and want some read on....if not....skip this next section.

1) Go down to your local banking institution and open what we here in Canada call an RHOSP - Registered Home Owners Savings Plan. Put in $20 pounds or what ever your currency is. Your own country might have something similar.

2) Start looking. No, not for something fancy, and maybe not for anything in your area, but start looking just to give yourself an idea of what's out there. ie: In Canada we have www.mls.ca That is the 'Multi Listing Service' for homes. That's real fancy for saying '...almost EVERY home in Canada is listed here'. This is a great tool, and there is a mortgage calculators listed on each page.

3) Now get your mind wandering, how can I reach that long-term goal while still having SP? Just because you live in your house does NOT mean you can not reach the outside world to earn money. Maybe selling the stuff you bought on ebay and putting that money towards a home business is a good start to supplimenting income. :lol: Instead of thinking about the day you MIGHT be able to work out in the world, think about how you can work and build a life NOW with SP - in the home then IF you ever get well enough to venture out to a regular job, fine....if not....then you won't be financially disabled and living on the street. After all....many of you have successfully built relationships right here on this forum, so you can make the next step. It's a beautiful thing ..... BUILD ON IT!!!!!

SG