In denial about social anxiety...

Does anyone feel like they are (or were) in denial about having social anxiety? I mean sometimes I think that I just don't like talking to people and that I'm just not a very social person...but then I sometimes get the feeling that I'm actually the opposite of that and I'd probably be more social if I didn't feel so vulnerable in social situations. I guess it's just easier to think that I'm not interested in talking to people.

but then I find myself in situations where I'm going to talk to people I don't know very well and I get this uneasy feeling about it. Like just now I was talking to somebody online and they suggested that we voice chat on skype but I ended up giving them a long spiel about not being able to talk well outside of group chats. Even now when the person takes a while to respond I start thinking that the reason he hasn't responded was because he was put off....even though he has responded back a few times so reasonably he's just not looking at Skype all the time.

I think a lot of it stems from this intense feeling I get that I'll say something weird or I'll annoy them in some way.....and also that if they reject me that it'll hurt too much. It's like I have this primal "unknowable" feeling that something really bad will happen if I mess up. It's just there hanging over me demanding not to be questioned.

I feel like it's not a very solid feeling, more a vague gut feeling. I've spoken to my therapist about this gut feeling (although not strictly in regards to social stuff) but I'm not sure if he really understands what I mean. (although I guess I'm just assuming that, he did say it sounds like I presume that I know what other people are thinking a lot)

Hello and welcome,

I've always found any excuse to avoid talking to/ being around people, I guess most of us here do feel the same way.

This happened to me a lot of times especially when being told to have a vocal conversation with the person. I'd always find excuses. I mildly stutter, this is the main reason. As well as underestimating my intelligence and being afraid of being taken for a simpleton....

For what I understand, the culprit in your case would be : Lack of self-esteem.

Logically I know what the problem is, I've even said stuff like this to my therapist.

Like I know that I can't expect to get on well with everyone...and that if I try to be myself and it still doesn't go well then I can't really blame myself for that and I should just move on.

but it's something else actually being faced with the reality of it. It always seems to make more sense in theory.

Do you know if there are any Skype groups for people with social anxiety? It might be a good start if I were to talk with people who have similar problems.

I denied it from the ages of 14-24. Don't ever do that (I'm almost 27).

Now I'm in therapy and making actual progress in just a few short weeks. Denial lost me years of my life, cost me relationships, and even had a roundabout negative impact on my health.