Thatgirljess
New member
Society is a visage, They think that people who say they suffer from Social Anxiety or Bi polar is just a person’s way of either saying ‘’I am anti-social” or “I am crazy and this is my excuse.’’
I have never been to a doctor, I think it is because I am scared of what he would say, after all, when I tried to explain to my boyfriend how I feel or how anxious and sick I feel when I know we have to go to big group outings he laughs it off or makes me feel small.
I am not one to open up, but when I do I expect that person to listen. I look at myself in the mirror and resent the person looking back.
Don’t get me wrong, I have not always had Social Anxiety, I remember when I could talk to anyone, go out with a bunch of people and not have total fear override my body, take over my soul.
I am not sure how it started, all I know is it begun after I met “Him” the person I am with now.
Four words drive me crazy and they are:
“People are coming over.” Or “We are going out.”
Personally, I need to know a week or two before I do anything that involves over two people, I need to get my mind to get used to the Idea. What I have learnt is that my coping mechanism is to try not think of the day or the night when I will have to force myself to talk and mingle with other’s (Even though that’s really hard.) but of the next day, I make myself get excited for the next day when I am alone, It could be a Book I have been dying to read or a show I have been wanting to watch. I tell myself and it’s a known saying but I say over and over in my head “This too shall pass.’’
I am tired of feeling not good enough, I am tired of my mind repeatedly telling me I am ugly or I am fat and when I am around people what are they talking about? Are they talking about me?
I guess I needed to vent this all out, I have no one that understands what I am going through. I know in my heart I suffer from social anxiety, I know that if I don’t start changing or start hiding my emotions from my boyfriend a little bit better I will lose him. He is so outgoing and so outspoken that sometimes I don’t feel good enough to be with him.
I have never been to a doctor, I think it is because I am scared of what he would say, after all, when I tried to explain to my boyfriend how I feel or how anxious and sick I feel when I know we have to go to big group outings he laughs it off or makes me feel small.
I am not one to open up, but when I do I expect that person to listen. I look at myself in the mirror and resent the person looking back.
Don’t get me wrong, I have not always had Social Anxiety, I remember when I could talk to anyone, go out with a bunch of people and not have total fear override my body, take over my soul.
I am not sure how it started, all I know is it begun after I met “Him” the person I am with now.
Four words drive me crazy and they are:
“People are coming over.” Or “We are going out.”
Personally, I need to know a week or two before I do anything that involves over two people, I need to get my mind to get used to the Idea. What I have learnt is that my coping mechanism is to try not think of the day or the night when I will have to force myself to talk and mingle with other’s (Even though that’s really hard.) but of the next day, I make myself get excited for the next day when I am alone, It could be a Book I have been dying to read or a show I have been wanting to watch. I tell myself and it’s a known saying but I say over and over in my head “This too shall pass.’’
I am tired of feeling not good enough, I am tired of my mind repeatedly telling me I am ugly or I am fat and when I am around people what are they talking about? Are they talking about me?
I guess I needed to vent this all out, I have no one that understands what I am going through. I know in my heart I suffer from social anxiety, I know that if I don’t start changing or start hiding my emotions from my boyfriend a little bit better I will lose him. He is so outgoing and so outspoken that sometimes I don’t feel good enough to be with him.
