intimidated by opposite sex

alex29

Well-known member
i find that im intimidated by guys. its not even anything to do with being romantically/sexually interested. its just guys overall.

i think because all throughout high school i was friends with mostly girls. i had a couple of guy friends but they were all sensitive and nice.

most of my friends in college have been girls too. girls just seem nicer and more understanding (when they arent being bitchy). guys seem more confident and loud and outgoing and it makes me nervous.

i wish i could have more guy friends. sometimes its nice to have that shoulder to lean on.
 

Kien

Well-known member
alex29 said:
i wish i could have more guy friends. sometimes its nice to have that shoulder to lean on.
If you have a nice guy friend who's shoulder you can cry on, know that in secret he wishes to be more than friends with you. Nice guys in friend zone very often wishes they were more than friends.
 

CK23

Well-known member
I totally agree... I've come across a lot of people and i've been able to talk to many girls cos i've found them to be more understanding towards me... it's like being pushed into a swimming pool and actually feeling good about it afterwards... if a mocking and mean guy had pushed me n a swimming pool i wouldnt have been smiling afterwards but most girls would really save you when you're down on your luck and need a friend... they make you feel visible and they dont knock you around unless you count some really bitchy kind of girls who want to imitate the mean bullies in an All boys school... Women are generally much better at being true friends... guys usually like to knock other people around and acting macho all the time....
 

JonnyD

Well-known member
You know , i'm felling like a egocentrycal jerk right now,
I though it was just a mens problem, i feel stupid for thinking it...

I have a problem socializing with people in general, but girls are a whole different story, even when i'm not a little bit attracted to them i feel very ashamed near any girl that i dont know - when i get to know people its other story. by this you can't even imagine how hard to me is talking with a girl i do feel atracted.

i it's very possible to women have men as friends and just friends - many guys don't think so - i know because one of my few buddies , one of the more sociable guys i ever met, has many girls as friends. These days i asked about one of his friends that calls him all the time and he told me that he knows here for half a life and think of her as a sister, i get to know her and i saw their realtionship - it's almost like me and my sister (without the bad words :p).

One thing i know for sure, some guys will confuse the friendship. I once did it and when she found out i avoided her for a whole week (when you see someone all the time its a lot)... but after she talked to me and i feel very glad that she was still my friend, until i went to college and lost contact with almost everybody at school - i'm really terrible keeping in touch.

Mean people does exist no matter the gender , maybe their not even bad persons they are just "misinformed about life".

i think you (talking to myself too) shouldn't let you fears keep you from knowing nice people and making friends , woman or man . And why not knowing a nice person to be your boyfriend/girlfriend - maybe your life long mate
 

Dodger

Well-known member
Well that being intimidated by the opposite sex works both ways too I am a guy but I find girls insanely hard to talk to.
 

alex29

Well-known member
JonnyD said:
You know , i'm felling like a egocentrycal jerk right now,
I though it was just a mens problem, i feel stupid for thinking it...

I have a problem socializing with people in general, but girls are a whole different story, even when i'm not a little bit attracted to them i feel very ashamed near any girl that i dont know - when i get to know people its other story. by this you can't even imagine how hard to me is talking with a girl i do feel atracted.

i it's very possible to women have men as friends and just friends - many guys don't think so - i know because one of my few buddies , one of the more sociable guys i ever met, has many girls as friends. These days i asked about one of his friends that calls him all the time and he told me that he knows here for half a life and think of her as a sister, i get to know her and i saw their realtionship - it's almost like me and my sister (without the bad words :p).

One thing i know for sure, some guys will confuse the friendship. I once did it and when she found out i avoided her for a whole week (when you see someone all the time its a lot)... but after she talked to me and i feel very glad that she was still my friend, until i went to college and lost contact with almost everybody at school - i'm really terrible keeping in touch.

Mean people does exist no matter the gender , maybe their not even bad persons they are just "misinformed about life".

i think you (talking to myself too) shouldn't let you fears keep you from knowing nice people and making friends , woman or man . And why not knowing a nice person to be your boyfriend/girlfriend - maybe your life long mate

i know it works both ways and im glad we can relate.

i just think about a group of guys and a group of girls and the guys are usually louder and taller and bigger and its just intimidating for me as a girl
 

JonnyD

Well-known member
i think something like you in the opposite way :p

When i'm near any girl i start taking care of how i behave , because i feel afraid they would think i'm a strange guy or that i'm too clumsy - i'm very clumsy, but near women it's like i turn into a walking accident...

i also would like to have someone who i could really talk about anything and even listen to , the friends i have are mostly men and i like those guy, but i couldn't ever feel like talking about shyness or other thing to them: they would laught at me, or they would dragme to that kind of everyone-is-drunk nightclub.
 

xSleepy

Well-known member
alex29 said:
guys seem more confident and loud and outgoing and it makes me nervous.

yeah they totally do. Everything about guys intimidate me. Just the fact that they are taller and have deeper voices scares me :?
And the same with me, I mostly hung out with girls growing up.

So I cant even be friends with guys, being in a relationship seems almost impossible. When I was younger I would do everything I could to avoid guys who liked me. Even if I really liked them. Actually that would make it even worse. dsjkfskafhsdajkfhsdjkafhsdjkafhsdakj :roll:

yeah guys are scary
 
I actually find it harder to talk to with someone who is a girl rather than a guy. Not that I have any friends or talk to anyone anyways but still. I'm more scared of people my own gender because I'm probably more likely to be jealous of them, and they intimidate me more. I don't know, I'm weird.
 

chris87

Well-known member
I don't really talk to guys or girls. I have trouble talking to both at times. It depends who it is and the circumstances.
 

alex29

Well-known member
JonnyD said:
When i'm near any girl i start taking care of how i behave , because i feel afraid they would think i'm a strange guy or that i'm too clumsy - i'm very clumsy, but near women it's like i turn into a walking accident...

i also would like to have someone who i could really talk about anything and even listen to , the friends i have are mostly men and i like those guy, but i couldn't ever feel like talking about shyness or other thing to them: they would laught at me, or they would dragme to that kind of everyone-is-drunk nightclub.

i would love to find a guy like you.
 

Walk

Well-known member
You see, I have to give the context of how I grew to provide a background for my fears with women.

I grew up around fairly outgoing guys in high school. Guys and girls who traveled a lot more than I did. I never integrated myself into that lifestyle due to anxiety.

And because I grew up into that lifestyle, I have this assumption when talking to girls that I MUST be this super outgoing guy that hangs out with several friends everyday and who has all sorts of cool plans.

And I feel like a little jackass when I realize I barely even go out of my damn house.

Sure, I can work it out, but it's been so many years that I've ingrained these self-worth issues that it seems I can't just "brush it off" with girls I date.

The last dates I've been all that was going in my mind was "am I boring this poor girl who ended up spending time with me" and "what should I do next, I don't know how to impress her". I think it was my insecurity more than my actual dates that led two of those girls to stop calling me.

Rejection is a fucked up thing in life. It's certainly worth taking the proper steps to get over them, but man it is so much harder to do than to say it.
 
Top