Is anyone afraid that they alone forever?

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Ben_Rowland

New member
Is anyone afraid that they will be alone forever?

Hello today I wanted to ask the question if anyone is afraid of being alone forever. I often look at my life and ask myself if I will always be alone. I fear in a few years time from now I will still have anxiety and still be alone as I am now. That I will not change and live a happy life. I often feel as no one other than me feels this way and that I am just a castaway in society. So I am wondering if anyone else has felt or is feeling this emotion in there life. -Ben
 
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nowherewoman

Member
Re: Is anyone afraid that they will be alone forever?

I'm not afraid of it because I know I will be. I've been alone for this long and it's highly doubtful that will change. I've accepted that so well that I hardly ever get jealous when I see how happy everyone else is. The good news for you is that I'm pretty much the only person like that. I've never heard of anyone else being alone forever and the odds are you won't be. If you are, you need to work on accepting it. I know it sounds harsh, but it's just easier that way.

Ben_Rowland said:
Hello today I wanted to ask the question if anyone is afraid of being alone forever. I often look at my life and ask myself if I will always be alone. I fear in a few years time from now I will still have anxiety and still be alone as I am now. That I will not change and live a happy life. I often feel as no one other than me feels this way and that I am just a castaway in society. So I am wondering if anyone else has felt or is feeling this emotion in there life. -Ben
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anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Not only with friends and love life, but I feel like I'm left behind in educational and financial success. I graduated high school but that's all. Now I'm actually applying to a school and I sent my FASFA. I might have to go up to the school because for whatever reason I didn't get that letter sent to my e-mail that I was suppose to get a couple days after. It's been a week at least.

Anyway, sometimes I feel like I don't know how to be a friend or love anymore because of how hurt I've been and how lonely I've been through the years. I don't know when it's okay to smile or flirt or ask to hang out or stuff like that. I think no one likes me but I'm sure it's not only that. Although, I think it's mainly I know inly a limited of people, I probably still won't find someone I could be friends with or date.

Yet at the same time, because I want to be in love so bad, that I can and I am willing to do what I can to be with someone (as long as they can accept my anxiety and I don't have to be forced to be extremely out going). I see other people married and in love and I just wish I could have the same.
 
Metal_isthe_Answer

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
anomicdeer said:
Not only with friends and love life, but I feel like I'm left behind in educational and financial success. I graduated high school but that's all. Now I'm actually applying to a school and I sent my FASFA. I might have to go up to the school because for whatever reason I didn't get that letter sent to my e-mail that I was suppose to get a couple days after. It's been a week at least.
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I'm midway through my second year of college now and have just turned 30. It's been pretty enjoyable to me, but I definitely notice my antisocial behavior more. Since I don't live on campus I'm very unaware of things going on, I usually just go to class then leave. I haven't really made friends, just a couple class mates I've only seen outside of class for group projects that I get along with.
Most people I see are much younger than me, or much older than me so it's kind of depressing being stuck in the middle.
 
worrywort

worrywort

Well-known member
Yea, especially as I've gotten older and settled into routines that are very predictable, socially. I think it's very likely that the amount of social contact I have today will continue throughout the rest of my life. There's a part of me that's ok with it. For the most part I enjoy being alone, but I sometimes worry that I'll regret it when I'm older. I sometimes get the sense that relationships and love are what life is truly all about. I also especially feel quite raw sometimes about missing out on romantic love. I find that quite difficult to bear, that I have never found true love, and odds are I'm unlikely to find it in the future either.

But I think nowherewoman is right, I think the best thing to do is to try to accept it as well as we can, and try to be grateful for what we have, rather than bitter over what we can't have. Difficult in practice, I know, but this is what I try to do.
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Yes, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy with me.

The more I worried about it, the more it fed my anxiety around people, which just made connecting and making new relationships all but impossible.

Time does not wait, and what time you have is shorter than you realize. I cannot recommend that you get good, professional help as early as possible.
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
Yep I am. But my girlfriend says she won't ever leave me. I trust her though, at this moment we're both happy but what says the future? idk.

I hope it'll always stay this way and won't fade.

For the guys and girls here who don't have a partner, i feel sorry for you being alone and single. But I've been single myself too, it's good to create happiness from within you and not from an external partner before you get into a relationship. But still, that's very hard i know. But love definitely is a blast and i hope y'all find your soulmate. :blushing:
 
Gieky

Gieky

Well-known member
Metal_isthe_Answer said:
I'm midway through my second year of college now and have just turned 30. It's been pretty enjoyable to me, but I definitely notice my antisocial behavior more. Since I don't live on campus I'm very unaware of things going on, I usually just go to class then leave. I haven't really made friends, just a couple class mates I've only seen outside of class for group projects that I get along with.
Most people I see are much younger than me, or much older than me so it's kind of depressing being stuck in the middle.
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I am in the same situation as you! Good to know we're not the only ones out there lol. I've made friends and met so many cool people but it's different friendship than the ones I have back home. If you went to my college, I would be your friend!
 
morrowrd

morrowrd

Active member
I turned 49 yesterday and for the first time in my life, I am aware of my age. I am isolated in my lifestyle, so times like tonight, I'm drinking because I'm depressed about it. I normally have a good system to deal with depression and know how to resist it, tonights not one of the nights that I'm really dealing with it the right way. I don't have friends, I rely on girlfriends for my social world, but am limited to girls I can find on dating sites due to being so anti social I can't meet anyone who isn't a stranger.

I spent two days in bed with some girl I met on the internet, sure we clicked, and she's my type and everything, except for one thing. I'm pretty sure this is a temporary thing. I will probably go into old age alone and for some reason that's bothering me tonight. And thats coming from a "go it alone" man.
 
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Ben_Rowland

New member
But why must you people give up on being somebody? Personally my dream in life is to be someone valued respected and cared for in society. So why do you give up on that dream and simply quit. Until my last breath I will always hope to be somebody more than I am, and I will never stop dreaming and believing.
 
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mementomori

Member
I oscilate between feeling extremely comfortable with my loneliness, emotionally independent from everybody,
and feeling sickeningly lonely and desperate and afraid I'll die all on my own.

I'm ashamed for being lonely the way I am. I believe I always will.

anyway, answering your question: yes.
 
emptybench

emptybench

Well-known member
Yep. Not completely alone, for I have friends, but without a relationship. I get too anxious and completely silent close to guys I'm interested in. And my appearance doesn't help, so...
 
Argentum

Argentum

Well-known member
I'm not afraid of it, I've just accepted it. I can't even make friends offline and online friends avoid me after meeting me, so what hope could there possibly be? I'm not even one of those people who doesn't shower and talks over others, so the less anxiety there is the less there is to "fix" socially. Yet nothing else changes.

Ben_Rowland said:
But why must you people give up on being somebody? Personally my dream in life is to be someone valued respected and cared for in society. So why do you give up on that dream and simply quit. Until my last breath I will always hope to be somebody more than I am, and I will never stop dreaming and believing.
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Haven't you heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again, and expecting a different result? Socializing isn't gambling and some of us don't get two duds and a success like we might on a slot machine. Some of us pull the lever as often as we can manage over the course of years and still end up with no payout at all. I don't want to be the person sitting there at the casino at 2 AM blowing the last of my savings.

I can waste away letting other people dictate where my energy goes, or I can just turn to my work and enjoy my money and cultivating talents. Of course everyone will judge me as some selfish, material ******* for it, but those people all have things other than nice coffee and new electric blankets to keep them warm, like friends and family. Many of them were born with the ability to just reach out and grab it, too.
 
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Earthcircle

Well-known member
Re: Is anyone afraid that they will be alone forever?

Ben_Rowland said:
Hello today I wanted to ask the question if anyone is afraid of being alone forever. I often look at my life and ask myself if I will always be alone. I fear in a few years time from now I will still have anxiety and still be alone as I am now. That I will not change and live a happy life. I often feel as no one other than me feels this way and that I am just a castaway in society. So I am wondering if anyone else has felt or is feeling this emotion in there life. -Ben
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Certainly. In my case, things have gotten worse with age. As a young person, you can sort of get away with being alone. People think of you as eligible or nubile. But I turn 50 next month, and I think my aloneness just looks damned odd. It might not look so strange if I could tell people that I had a lover once who died of AIDS. But that is a difficult thing to talk about -- especially, when you have no one to talk to. Furthermore, I tried telling it to a therapist once, and he acted like I was lying. I think it's better to shut up about it.
 
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Nightjar

Member
Hi everyone I am new here.
And yes I believe I will be alone till I die. Even had scary dreams of myself been alone and unwanted. Having no where to live except the street like a bag lady.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I am more afraid that my anxiety will get so bad that I will be unable to hold a job and will no longer be able to do the things that bring me peace, like running as I get older. My fear is not so much fear of being alone, but fear of not being able to function in society.
 
dany

dany

Active member
I do feel the same from time to time but I get out of these thoughts by hoping that i will fight and overcome anxiety eventually. Anything is possible, we just need to work harder than others to get it.

Hope never dies!
 
greggy

greggy

Well-known member
Re: Is anyone afraid that they will be alone forever?

Ben_Rowland said:
Hello today I wanted to ask the question if anyone is afraid of being alone forever. I often look at my life and ask myself if I will always be alone. I fear in a few years time from now I will still have anxiety and still be alone as I am now. That I will not change and live a happy life. I often feel as no one other than me feels this way and that I am just a castaway in society. So I am wondering if anyone else has felt or is feeling this emotion in there life. -Ben
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Ben, i feel the very same as you, i want to say there's light at the end of the tunnel bur there's no answer to this, i've known some aweful people who land then selves really nice partners, and that screws me up so bad! Im at the point where i just dont care what happens to me, sorry if your looking for some uplifting words im just not the right one sorry.. Just hang in there dude!
 
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