Is depression ever considered attention-seeking?

CrazyGirl

Well-known member
I had expressed my feelings of depression to someone I had considered a friend. Instead of being supportive, he told me that I was seeking attention and only associates with friends who are positive and upbeat. After telling him this, he wanted nothing to do with me.

Then society wonders why some people choose to end it without any kind of warning. They're afraid of being shunned and treated poorly when expressing their true feelings of being depressed.
 

Flowers-Of-Bloom

Well-known member
Sounds like he has problems of his own if he only associates with people who are "positive and upbeat." When it comes to telling others your problems it's best to do so with caution, be careful who you talk to about those things because some people fear it or they don't understand at all. Most people lack empathy, they won't acknowledge your feelings as genuine expressions of human emotion and instead they will judge you. I only tell people who I know I can trust and who have the capacity to empathize, they are usually very good friends and are hard to come by.

That being said, there are people who use depression or suicidal behaviour to deliberately get attention from people so there is a lot of stigma surrounding the issue, some might think that you are one of those people. Either way a person who looks for attention using those means is in need of attention and help but others will disregard them because such behaviour is viewed as shameful.
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Sadly there are many people out there who either cannot or will not understand that depression is a real and difficult thing to live with. The best thing for your depression is to cut those kinds of people out of your life, if someone isnt willing to try to understand you then they arent worthy of your friendship.

Its a lesson I keep trying to teach myself.
 

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
Not everyone sees "friends" the same way. Some, like most of us probably, are looking for some kind of connection and mutual understanding. Some others see friends like people who are meant to be useful, entertaining. So they don't want to hear about your problems. Your friend seems to be more of that category. I try to stay away from these people, I don't really like the kind of relationship that you get from it.

To answer your question, going around telling everyone that you're depressed is probably attention-seeking, yes, but if you only told this one friend it doesn't sound like that's what you were doing. Depression itself has nothing to do with attention-seeking from my experience, when I'm depressed all I want is to be left alone.
 

CrazyGirl

Well-known member
Sounds like he has problems of his own if he only associates with people who are "positive and upbeat." When it comes to telling others your problems it's best to do so with caution, be careful who you talk to about those things because some people fear it or they don't understand at all. Most people lack empathy, they won't acknowledge your feelings as genuine expressions of human emotion and instead they will judge you. I only tell people who I know I can trust and who have the capacity to empathize, they are usually very good friends and are hard to come by.

That being said, there are people who use depression or suicidal behaviour to deliberately get attention from people so there is a lot of stigma surrounding the issue, some might think that you are one of those people. Either way a person who looks for attention using those means is in need of attention and help but others will disregard them because such behaviour is viewed as shameful.
Since then, I refuse to tell my "new" friends my struggles with depression and anxiety. Because of what happened in the past sharing my feelings with others who I had thought were my friends, I can't trust anyone now expressing my true feelings IRL.

I can see the stigma attached as to why some don't think mental illness is real. I do believe some may use it as to manipulate people to get what they want or those that constantly wallow in self-pity. I have seen it on FB, a few who frequently posts statuses about how unhappy/depressed/lonely they are and not doing anything about it.

Sadly there are many people out there who either cannot or will not understand that depression is a real and difficult thing to live with. The best thing for your depression is to cut those kinds of people out of your life, if someone isnt willing to try to understand you then they arent worthy of your friendship.

Its a lesson I keep trying to teach myself.

Yep. I've learned the hard way. It's easier for me to keep my mouth shut about it than to risk losing more friends and being even more outcasted.
 

outofthisworld

Well-known member
i never tell people about my issues because of similar reactions, just because people doesn't understand or are miss informed, they automatically jump to the conclusion that we are making it up, i know a coworkers he was telling his mother was depressed and he just thought that was bulls***t i didn't even wanna bother arguing with that because i know would be a waste of time... it's really rare to find people that will understand outside here.. so i learned to keep it to my self and let people think i'm just quiet.
 

DepravedFurball

Well-known member
Those that claim depression is 'just a way of seeking attention' have never been under it's influence, nor will they ever truly understand just how much it weighs a soul down.

Myself? I like to call *those* people 'ignorant ***-hats', and think of them as being psychopathic due to their lack of sympathy for what others struggle to deal with on a daily, unrelenting basis.

And if that guy-friend of yours *only* associates with people who are positive an up-beat... Gods, is *he* ever in for a surprise when he finds himself at the age of thirty, stuck in a dead-end job, and every single person around him does nothing but complain about their personal problems all day. Then, slowly, cripplingly, he'll get to experience depression first-hand.

...

Actually, that'd be a great case of irony. Or at least poetic justice.

Regardless, my one piece of advice; avoid ignorant ***-hats. They may seem popular and outgoing... but on the inside they're just selfish and insecure.
 

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
no it's just some people don't really care and only care about their own happiness. that's why there's counselors. I feel sad a lot too even though I pretend to act happy because I have to in order to keep my job. :/ I'm happier when I can express how i really feel like on this forum but I can't at work. I have to work a lot right now... it helps to talk to someone, and I can talk to you sometimes if you'd like :) also doing something creative helps at least for me to feel better. I'm happy when I get what I want for a period of time but happiness should be more often than that, and it's something to strive for :)
 

Lavinialuna

Well-known member
Hate to say it, but I firmly believe karma will turn around and bite this person in the a$$. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but one day someone really close to them or they themselves will have to deal with this up close and personal...
Let it take care of it's self, but for you, don't stop being yourself. I know I personally would rather tell 100 people that I am depressed and find one good real friend than make 100 friends who only like me when I pretend to be something I'm not. You deserve better.
Hugs to you.
 

Jordy2290

Member
People who don't have depression nor care to understand it often think it's attention seeking. As difficult as it may seem, you really have to just try and ignore these people. They usually have their own deep-seated issues. Nobody's normal, everybody's got problems to some degree. He must not have many friends if he only associates with people who are upbeat and positive because let's be honest most people are in the middle. They can be upbeat and positive and they can be down in the dumps, within reason. I think it's healthy for people to experience and express all sorts of emotions. Just try and chuck him off as not a very understanding human being and therefore not someone you want in your life. Friends will always try to understand your side or point of view, fakes will not!
 

PhillipJFry

Well-known member
If this happens to you again, I would suggest explaining to your acquaintance that depression is cause by many factors such as stress, hereditary genes, chemical and hormonal imbalances, and possibly an abusive history. But none of these factors are your choice.

You should let him know that no reasonable person would assume a cancer patient becomes ill just because they wanted to wear funny pink shirts and yellow wristbands; and no paraplegic would break their neck because they want convenient parking. Likewise, no clinically depressed individual would be so just to get attention.

If he still thinks you’re only sad to get noticed, then logically he must be unreasonable, and there's nothing you can do about that.
 

williamreinsch

Well-known member
He's not the sort of person you should associate with then dude. I realized since coming out to my friends with how I feel, the ones who are true friends were there for me and the people I thought were friends took a step back and forgot about me. I think it's better to realize who the fake friends are. Why would anyone want people like that around them who don't care.
 

chev

Well-known member
I'm sorry to hear that. That's a really horrible thing for a "friend" to do. Not really a friend at all. I suffer from depression too, and I find it a difficult thing to discuss with others..That's why I usually come to this site to talk about it, so you definitely can come here to talk about it any time. I've gotten a lot of support and great advice from some really caring and understanding people.

It is too easy for those who don't have depression to dismiss the whole thing as "attention seeking," and like you've said that does sadly, and unfortunately, lead to a lot of people ending their lives. If people could try to see it from the depressed person's perspective, then they'd realize the only thing they're seeking is help. No one should deserve to feel that way, so they kind of do need attention, but just not in the stigmatized neediness kind of way.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Some people lack empathy. The ability to see others points of view, or to just try and understand what others may be dealing with.
I have no time for people like them. I certainly don't waste my time trying to get them to understand something they never will.
 

S_Spartan

Well-known member
Thing is, I don't trust people who are "positive and upbeat" I figure there is something sinister going on inside them behind all that.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
I've experienced a lot of rejection before so I hear you.

All I can say is rejection saves time. You two weren't meant to be friends, now you have more time to find a friend who actually cares about your life.

A real friend is there in time of need.

^Sadly, most people don't match that sentence. ^

We live in a world of ego. Most people are out fending for themselves without the concern of others. That guy you describe is a classic case of this.
 

williamreinsch

Well-known member
Some people lack empathy. The ability to see others points of view, or to just try and understand what others may be dealing with.
I have no time for people like them. I certainly don't waste my time trying to get them to understand something they never will.

Yeah I had a friend (well I thought he was) and he totally lacked empathy from the very start, like he used to bully me and humiliate me at times to make himself seem cooler. I honestly can see he has all the sociopathic traits now that I have disassociated myself from him.
I've come across a few people like that in my life and they are just worst people to be around when you have SA or depression. :(
 
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