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Old 11-05-2011  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

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Originally Posted by Iseesky View Post
Do you think it's better to tell people when you're feeling anxious or to keep it from them?
This is something I have been giving a lot of thought to lately. It might not be a bad idea at all to let others know that I am struggling. People are not as callous as they seem sometimes and they understand. It would probably make me feel less alone and would make me relax better in social situations with these people.

Quote:
Are you open about your social anxiety (or anxieties/disorders in general)? Do your friends know? How close do people have to be to you before you tell them about it (if at all)?
I have not been open about my social anxiety, and I am not sure if I would use that term with other people. It makes me feel like they will interpret it as being "socially inept" which is sorta true, but I guess I am just too proud to admit to that.

I have been open about other things, and for the most part it was always a good experience.

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Originally Posted by MikeyC View Post
I never used to be open about my anxieties, as I just kept believing they didn't exist. Lately I've told a few people about it to varying responses. I'm getting more desperate about it so I have been letting people know how I am.
I am in the same place. Little by little I have been more open about my struggles. I told my mother and sister about it. They don't fully understand, but it sure felt good to get it out.

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Originally Posted by pop-princess View Post
I'm regretting now so much that I never told any of my teachers of my problems. I was scared of that too, to talk face to face to a teacher.
I haven't been in school in five years, but I still regret not telling my professors in college and teachers in high school about this. It would have made things so much better. At the time though, I did not fully realize it was an actual problem. If I go back to school it will be something I will let them know about from the start. This new tactic could result in a very different experience from the one I had, which was terrible.
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Old 11-05-2011  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

Everyone in my family knows-- anyone who knows me knows, really.
Doesn't change anything.
I'll remove myself from the situation if I don't want to be there; but no one really cares either way.
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Old 11-05-2011  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

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Originally Posted by jonas89 View Post
This is how it went out for me, when I let them in my shell.
They didn't judge me or anything but they showed a lot of understanding or at least tried for those who don't understand anxiety or depression, by telling them this is maybe the best cure that has happened for my SA. I don't have to constantly be wondering what they are thinking and it helps A LOT knowing that they know what Im going trough and they are also really proud for my hand for all the hard work that I have set into this to dig my way out of this hell hole, now days they often look for my advise when they are in emotional trouble and some of them have anxiety or depression up to some point. So by telling your friends can make the difference not only for you but also for them, doesn't make any difference whether they are party animals or not.
If they are really your true friends I personally thing they deserve to know, and true friends will understand
That is wonderful! I agree that talking about this issue can really help us. Shame is a big part of it, and we let others know it would chip away at that a bit. Thanks for sharing!
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Old 11-06-2011  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

I have been thinking about being telling people about it, but havenít really done it yet. In most situations i'm very good at seeming normal and that has been the goal for a large part of my life, just to appear normal. I have been hiding so many things about myself and Iím really sick of it. I have also realized that it is properly better if people know me and donít like me rather than if they donít know me at all.

I think being open about your weaknesses and troubles is one of the most courageous things you can do, and I admire people who are. And I think that if you stand by every aspect of who you are, then people will at least respect you for that, even if they donít respect you for anything else.

I know it will be hard for me to start talking to people about my anxiety, but Iím sure that their reactions wonít be as bad as I fear. I thought jonas89ís story was very inspiring as well.
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Old 11-06-2011  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

Ive told my sister. I'm not sure if I regret it. She just doesn't understand as much as she trys. It's a difficult problem to communicate to someone.

Pain is the ransom you have gladly paid not to be free.
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Old 11-06-2011  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

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Originally Posted by Astronaut View Post
I have been thinking about being telling people about it, but havenít really done it yet. In most situations i'm very good at seeming normal and that has been the goal for a large part of my life, just to appear normal. I have been hiding so many things about myself and Iím really sick of it. I have also realized that it is properly better if people know me and donít like me rather than if they donít know me at all.

I think being open about your weaknesses and troubles is one of the most courageous things you can do, and I admire people who are. And I think that if you stand by every aspect of who you are, then people will at least respect you for that, even if they donít respect you for anything else.

I know it will be hard for me to start talking to people about my anxiety, but Iím sure that their reactions wonít be as bad as I fear. I thought jonas89ís story was very inspiring as well.

"To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered." - Voltaire

"We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are." - Max De Pree

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin
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Old 11-06-2011  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

I'm very open about it (or at least as open as someone who has social anxiety could be). I think it's better that people know there's a normal person hidden underneath instead of just assuming I'm some kind of weirdo. Whenever I get the "why are you so quiet?" question, I have no shame about telling anyone.

Some men die under the mountain just lookin' for gold.
Some die lookin' for a hand to hold.

Last edited by megalon; 11-06-2011 at 02:17 AM..
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Old 11-06-2011  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

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Originally Posted by razzle dazzle rose View Post
That is wonderful! I agree that talking about this issue can really help us. Shame is a big part of it, and we let others know it would chip away at that a bit. Thanks for sharing!
My pleasure It's heavy to carry our own coffin alone, it's easier to have someone to carry it with ya.
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Old 11-06-2011  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

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Originally Posted by Piece_By_Piece View Post
Wow, that's pretty amazing really, I mean, that you can talk to your own family members about it and they can relate to it.
I know, I feel very lucky that I have such a large support group who can relate to all of my social difficulties. We are pretty much all each other's best friends.
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Old 12-16-2012  
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Default Re: Is it better when people KNOW you're socially anxious?

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Originally Posted by jonas89 View Post
This is how it went out for me, when I let them in my shell.
They didn't judge me or anything but they showed a lot of understanding or at least tried for those who don't understand anxiety or depression, by telling them this is maybe the best cure that has happened for my SA. I don't have to constantly be wondering what they are thinking and it helps A LOT knowing that they know what Im going trough and they are also really proud for my hand for all the hard work that I have set into this to dig my way out of this hell hole, now days they often look for my advise when they are in emotional trouble and some of them have anxiety or depression up to some point. So by telling your friends can make the difference not only for you but also for them, doesn't make any difference whether they are party animals or not.
If they are really your true friends I personally thing they deserve to know, and true friends will understand
That's awesome! I think it's better to let your friends know.

I collect mental issues!
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