is it possible to makes freinds without anyone to vouch for you

like if you dont have anyone to put in the good word for you is it still possible to build some kind of social circle?...or are you just screwed if you dont have mutual friends to put in the good word?...I literally have ZERO people in my life that would go out of their way to say anything good about me....I used ot have a small group of friends but htey all talked shit about me behind my back and eventually started stealing from me so I ditched them a couple years ago and now I dont have any freinds at all..I'v never been close with my family either because im the youngest and have ALWAYS been the blacksheep...so spending any quality time with them isnt much of an option...I dont want to end up middle-aged with no freinds and no life....im so used to being avoided by people and doing the same to them in return that everyone probably just thinks im weird for having no social life by now.

for a long time i didnt think there was any point in life. i had no one only a friend who id text once every 2 week to show her i was still keen if she ever wanted to go out and invite me along. sooner or later i started to accept my loneliness and started to let go of the worry about not having friends. it isnt so bad, i find that working out and getting fit helps with loneliness.

hit me up if you need to talk

There are a lot of websites and clubs out there you can search out if you want to meet other people, might take a while, but if you put the effort in I'm sure it can work for you.

how old are you OP??what do you like to do for fun?if you are late 20s and beyond its much harder to start from scratch if you want to make friends..very difficult but can be done but its a lot of work..

I play video games and I would say my best friend now played games too so i would say. Its easy to start online cause theres a certain shield people feel.. When get to know some people that live in your area then you can take it another level.

It would be easy if you lived near a major city.

All my firends now got married and have kids. It's hard to find people to talk to without feeling like an outcast but if you just have a hobby or something in common with someone that can change that feeling.

I do not know the answer, but I can try to contribute

I think it is all about interest, putting yourself in a situation where you are able or forced to work and talk with other people who share an interest with you. I would guess this gets past the age barrier, as there is an individual in my family who is 40+ and he met people whilst going to a caving club because that is what he was interested in. Although he is a really outgoing guy, I would guess it is just like that.

Whether you like running, or sports, or gaming, or reading. I imagine there is at least an online group out for you somewhere, it is just finding these people and using what you share to build upon that. These people have a fresh opinion of you and may even be new themselves, which is another thing you share.

When going to a new place or new club/Group, people would not expect you to have anyone there to vouch for you making it easier to approach people without judgement. I hope this helps a little bit at least!
Easier said than done in most cases, but I always thought it to be something like that.

the thing is its hard or awkward to TRY to make friends, its almost like something you have to just let flow..for instance, you join a club or program of some sort, dont act too eager to get to know everyone right off the bat, simply introduce yourself and over time talk to people and get to know them..if you hit it off, you do, if you dont, you dont..i have been around people that are too eager to become friends and tbh it is creepy and makes me think something is off with the person..

Wow! Good for you. Yes, you can do this. This was my science and the past does not control the future. You can garner a family of friends. This forum will be a good resource; if you have the opportunity or funds to work with a behavioral therapist who will help you with getting started- checking your body language to make sure you're not accidentally carrying an austere or unfriendly appearance-learning the softer skill of small talk which helps you break the ice with new people, learning to recognize what activities stir your curiosity- which are easier places to begin. How's that for an ambling sentence! Learning to reward yourself verbally for your attempts- not just your successes. In the beginning you're untangling a lot of processes going in the wrong direction- how you talk to yourself- learning to perceive people as your allies who would be thrilled to have you in their lives- learning how to take a "no" and not equate it with rejection. That's why you must honor those small steps and battle discouragement. You can do this, you already have good insights.

I have found the best way to make friends is to find something you enjoy and look at some kind of group meetings where people enjoy the same thing.

I realise this is kind of tough to consider if you have SA. But it truly is the answer to forming friendships.
Sitting in the same room with a person with nothing to do or talk about is the worst scenario.
Something to do and talk about (ice breakers) takes the pressure away.

Personally I don't have a problem with people wanting to be my friend.. it's just rare that I want to be theirs LOL :lol:

I remember in high school I met a kid who moved to the US from Asia. I briefly was introduced to him while playing soccer, and then we had a few classes together. Being the dreadfully shy and asocial person I was, I hardly planned on being more than, well, not really anything. But then he just, out of the blue, started talking to me.

I was not very receptive

But he persisted and persisted and persisted and persisted until I talked back. Until we had conversations. Until we hung out after school. Until he entered my comfort zone and we became friends.

So using this approach, I'd say finding people you see on a regular basis and interacting with them regularly is would result in making friends without being vouched for. So if you work, people there would be a good place to start. If you like to drink, you could regular a bar. Like a lot of people said, joining a club would be a good place to find people. If you're willing to be the effort in and yourself out there, it's plenty possible.