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Old 01-10-2009  
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Default Is this guy shy/gay/asexual? GUYS PLEASE HELP

another thread entitled "shy men please answer" reminded me to start this thread...

Ok I wont go into all the details (even though its really good ..for real)...but this guy who i was like in love with who was in my class, i THOUGHT liked me. After what happened in there, it was really obvious. So much so, a liscenced professor in psychology and clinical psychologist flat out said, "i think he likes you." so i go months, almost a year... and dont see him again. But after our class i added him on myspace, and always hoped he noticed my profile, as a small way of staying in touch/hope. Well after guy friend after guy friend of mine asked about my love life (or lack of) all i could think to share was this guy who i was still NOT over... when they heard the story, they automatically responded, you have to tell him. you have to tell him how you feel. And they always joked, "hows your soon-to-be-husband"
Anyway i wrote this email, put my heart and soul into it, opened up and told him everything. I even explained, I hate how I have to write you an email, but i have no other way of seeing you, etc. I said you would make me the happiest girl ever if you just responded lets be friends...really. It was the best email ever, and if i got that, no matter from who (and even especially if i didnt know them) i would be flattered.

So adults think he likes me, every guy thinks he likes me and tells me to tell him how i feel, and all girls (almost) are jealous and like cant believe that happened in class. so i just feel like i came to the point where i had to tell him. I have NEVER felt this way about anyone.. I have never been more physically attracted, emotionally attracted, thought of a anotherguy or really human for that matter as i did of him. i k now thats a little much. but i never knew guys existed like him. hes just so.... everything..

So i send him my heart and soul in the email. And in response i get "I am sorry to say I dont share the same feelings. blehh blahh blehhh...I am sorry."

OK WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

i just want to get some ones opinion on this..what exactly happened here?

My psychologist flat out said he likes me. My psychologist has told me things i did NOT want to hear before. He would not just say this to make me feel better (it was my idea to send the email, my psychologist only read it).... If a psychologist says he likes me and he doesnt what is wrong here. Not only that, but everyones mom grandma and dog said the same thing, and even more so.

I know you might have to know the entire situation to really help me with what i wanted to know...

but i am wondering...

is he shy? Guys on here said if they really liked a girl and if she flat out said she liked him.. they would still say no because they knew they couldnt be with them. He wasnt that shy in class, but a friend of his said "he is shy but its because he is a gentleman."
He's also been single longer than i have! And girls love him!
They say "oh you give the best hugs!!!" and "i want you in a strictly sexual way" lol.... soooooo uhhh

ORRR

hes gay

whch i dont think is true, because he comes from a traditional christian home. but you never know. i just usually have good gaydar. and i think my psychologist would pick up on that too.

then theres he is ASEXUAL...but even so, he would still have a gf by now.

So, like, what the heck....

I need some ones opinion on this. And be nice. I just had my heart broken by the only guy i ever thought i was in love with, I am forever changed by some one i barely knew. HELP? :(
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Old 01-10-2009  
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Old 01-10-2009  
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I would have to agree with above ^

If he says to you he "doesn't share the same feelings" that is a good sign to let go of him. You'll be happier, eventually, without him.
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Old 01-10-2009  
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You guys live in the same area? It could be a solution meeting up with him and talking about it face to face, maybe it would make things clearer for you. There's a limit to how much feeling you can express sending e-mails.

Good luck with it, i hope you get him in the end
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Old 01-10-2009  
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Any girl that is not attracted to me is either gay, asexual, blind, unaware of her true feelings, or close-minded.
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Old 01-10-2009  
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Psychologists aren't psychics. Sometimes people send signals different from what they really think. Most people you like won't return the feelings. Let it go. You're lucky he gave you such a clear answer instead of something ambiguous to lead you on forever.

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."
- Kurt Vonnegut
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Old 01-10-2009  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepysparrow
I would have to agree with above ^

If he says to you he "doesn't share the same feelings" that is a good sign to let go of him. You'll be happier, eventually, without him.
Riiya and sleepysparrow... I wish it were that easy... yes there are other fish in the sea. My grandma said when i told her he was moving to australia to go find his twin "everyone has a twin out there" she said to go findhis.

But i cant explain to you what happened... its not just thru my eyes, its what was said. Its the 20 or more things we are compatible on, our sense of humor....EVERYthinnggggggggggg


I mean one of my guy friends was like, well you will probably never get over him after something like that happened.

that song by James Blunt reminds me of it, ''we shared a moment that will last till the end...and i dont know what to do, cause i will never be with you... youre beautiful"

this rejection happened 3 months ago. I am not over it. In fact i read his blog and thats when i decided he was elitist because of a comment he made- showing me his elite view of himself... lol and i commented on it... twice... and his friends were all "oh he is an elitist clearly..."

and then he goes, "julie...seriously?"

lol I dont know about me being happier without him. Thats a strech. Me eventually finding some one else or getting over him? maybe.
That kind of story that happened though, is one i would want to tell about my HUSBAND or to my kids... thats how hard it is to get get over..
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Old 01-10-2009  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gone
You guys live in the same area? It could be a solution meeting up with him and talking about it face to face, maybe it would make things clearer for you. There's a limit to how much feeling you can express sending e-mails.

Good luck with it, i hope you get him in the end
Yeah we used to live in the same town. Then I moved (not too far away, plus he has some friends here and I still visited our old town), AND THEN he moved to Australia to do a study abroad, and like i said i read his blog, and this is where i find out hes moving there for good ... or thats his plan, to work there. If we were in love i would move there in a second, even though ive always wanted to live in america, thats how much i have liked him..

And i hated how i had to send him an email. one its just kind of dorky, might as well do online dating, and two, like you said, its hard to express somethng like that and say all you want to say in an email. but for an email... im not gonna brag, but it was GOOD.. lol..anyways it had been a year since we saw eachother, and our chances of seeing each other agin were not good, esp after i found out he would be across the world..


THANKS FOR YOUR OPTIMISM!!! I hope so too... I pray about it every night, I pray for him... I didnt really believe in soul maters till i met him, and needless to say am really confused.. so now i just pray, God, reveal your plan
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Old 01-10-2009  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew
Any girl that is not attracted to me is either gay, asexual, blind, unaware of her true feelings, or close-minded.
ok FIRST OF ALL, i told my mom the story after it happened, and her reaction was, "are you sure hes not gay?"

you left out elitist... and this is what i think he really is. Because he goes on date parties allllllllll the time... like 7 in a year, and those are just documented ones, is that a record. He is GORGEOUS, a gentleman, and has a good personality, he can get girls if he wants to ... in fact, they ASK HIM.... yet hes STILL been single longer than me... soo... elitist comes to mind... not to mention he would be an elitist solely based on his comment on his blog about himself, and what others think of him...

and yes after all this i still like him/would marry him/am in love and more importantly NOT OVER HIM


can yall please help me decide what it is though... yall have given really good advice.... but i just want to hear ur opinion on if you think hes shy or WHAT THE DEAL IS..........


SHY, GAY, ELITIST, OR ASEXUAL?????? LOL..PLEASE!!!
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Old 01-10-2009  
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maybe he just didnt like you and thats it plain and simple :?:

his actions may have been misinterpreted
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Old 01-10-2009  
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Old 01-10-2009  
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maybe u're too pink for him lol
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Old 01-10-2009  
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He may have the same feelings as you... they're just for another girl.
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Old 01-11-2009  
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yea maybe he's gay. Or doesn't like you. I don't mean to sound close minded but to say you'll never love anyone like that again... you're what 18? Even i'm not that arrogant and i'm almost the most arrogant person in the world. I don't think you find out if you love someone until a good while after you've been with them, that's when true compatability is tested. The reason why i say this is look how many people get married, obviously they "think" it's the love of their life at the time but it's not. Don't get caught up on a guy when you're however old you are.

When you're 30 it's time for you to start grabbing and not letting go.

Haha jk

but i'm not.
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Old 01-11-2009  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew
Any girl that is not attracted to me is either gay, asexual, blind, unaware of her true feelings, or close-minded.
lol i think it went over her head
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Old 01-11-2009  
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i think for one to help you, they would need the story to what he did back whenever that you say is why you fell in love with him.....
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Old 01-11-2009  
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[quote="pinkputter"]
Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepysparrow
yes there are other fish in the sea.
lol it's like I always say "There's plenty of other fish in the sea, then again I've never been good at fishing"

But really I think you just gotta keep searching for another guy. I`m like in love with this one girl but it`s clear that she doesn`t feel the same way...So I`m moving on and as much as it pains me to know I`ll never be with her I know that once I meet another awesome girl (It may take years) I`ll be truely happy
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Old 01-11-2009  
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Well...frankly, just because he doesn't like you does not mean hes gay/etc.

Some guys are naturally flirty, i am one of them. I've had girls that Ive disappointed numerous times but really it's just my damn behavior. When im around a female i tend to enjoy flirting with them. Doesn't mean at all i find a serious interest in dating, but for the moment i really don't think about that either. And im not gay/bisexual/shy/blahetc
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Old 01-11-2009  
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I think he's an elitist, looking for the best of the best, in other words a narrow-minded douchebag OR he simply doesn't like you in the same way you like him. I'd advise not to think more about him and focus on others, there's always someone else coming along^^.

I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.
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Old 01-11-2009  
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gosh , he already answered, he don't like you, it could be , one he don't like you two , he's a ****. both ways won't stop you from trying to get into his pants - with a lot of love of cource - so be happy, and try again.
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