It feels so fake

I was all about overcoming my shyness and being more outgoing and everything once I got here to college, but now I'm thinking that it really feels like I'm trying to act fake. As if I'm trying to fool everyone, including myself.

I'm not a crazy party girl or a super outgoing person. Sometimes it feels like I was pretending and really trying to be something I'm not. I haven't given up on trying to overcome my shyness, like I still want to be more confident in myself, and not care what others are thinking of me, but I don't want to feel like I'm pretending anymore.

So I'm shy... that's just part of who I am really. I think we're all a lot more than just one word. We just don't give ourselves enough credit.

I tried to be more outgoing once I moved, and got into a different school. It never really worked out though. I was still a loner, and I rarely talked to anyone.

I wouldn't see it as trying to be somebody your not. It may feel fake, but I'd see it as, trying to change myself for the better. As I'm sure you know not to many people are up for a change. It takes sometime to get use to.

I'm glad you're trying to be more outgoing, I wish I could be.

PhantomPod said:

We just don't give ourselves enough credit.

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I agree. :|

Yeah, I guess trying to change yourself for the better is a good way to look at it. It just feels like I'm trying to be something I'm not, and it's definitely getting frustrating.

One phrase I used to hear a lot is "fake it until you make it." It took me years and years to really understand what that meant.

I always thought it was about being phony. In a sense, it is--but what it's really about is not letting low self-esteem or a lack of confidence get in your way.

Other people oftem seem to us SAers like they're totally confident, outgoing people who always seem to know the right thing to do or say. But that's wrong. The fact is, most people don't notice the little missteps and faux pas that we make. Most people aren't all that confident and secure in themselves. But, since others seem to need to see confidence in other people in order to take them seriously of feel that they are competent, people "put on an act." Almost everyone does this. It's the imperfect way of dealing with our imperfect world. Our world doens't like it when people are too honest, too genuine, too realistic, or not confident enough. So many people cultivate these personality traits, whether they originally had them or not. They need to, in order to get through life and accomplish their goals. We do, too.

What the rest of that phrase means is this: Eventually you will have these new habits of acting and thinking. they will "sink in" and become part of you. Yes, it's more of a challenge for us SAers, but it's worth the effort. It sure feels like walking a high-wire without a net-- but that's only how it *seems*. And we may never be as outgoing as the super-confident extroverts, but we can certainly rise above where we have been and what we have done, and live closer to our personal ideals.

to be honest with you i will always be shy. not as much as i was but it will always be there. i was always a loner too but il be honest about that aswel. i enjoy being on my own most of the time. i have friends but never feel like i have any. im so used to being on my own that i am starting to enjoy it.

J... that was a good pep speech. lol. Thanks for that. It definitely makes sense to me, and it actually really helped lift my spirits up some.

J said:

Eventually you will have these new habits of acting and thinking. they will "sink in" and become part of you. Yes, it's more of a challenge for us SAers, but it's worth the effort. It sure feels like walking a high-wire without a net-- but that's only how it *seems*. And we may never be as outgoing as the super-confident extroverts, but we can certainly rise above where we have been and what we have done, and live closer to our personal ideals.

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Wow, that's nice .

I'm not so worried 'bout me being shy. But rather, I'll like people leaving shy people like me alone. Juz let me exist in my own little world & I'll be contended. Oh, people could also help by stoping asking me questions like 'why I look so sad all the time?' So, I look sad, but wat's the big deal rite? Don't understand why these ppl can't juz bother wif their own business...