It will always be my burden

I've been losing myself more then I have in a long time. It's becoming so bad that instead of just voices, I see things now too. I see the ground move or a wall. I see shadows of things that aren't there. The voices in my head scream and they are not quiet anymore, they don't whisper. I can't sleep without having nightmares.

Today I broke down in front of my girlfriend...... I cried in her arms... I told her I didn't want to be alone anymore that this place I live is tormenting me. I told her the voices are screaming, they are as I'm writing this. She loves me, I could see it in her eyes, she is concerned for me. I'm willing to fight this, I just don't know how too. She told me she would fight with me every step of the way, because she wanted who she fell in love with back. I want to be that person again and I will try my absolute hardest for her, for our boy, and for myself. I need to fight this so I can build a future out of fear. It's going to be a long road, but I know I won't be alone, which helps a lot. I just wish I didn't have to have this curse.

Maybe you should have your therapist recheck your meds?

Sacrament said:

Maybe you should have your therapist recheck your meds?

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That's what I'm going to do next time I see him, truth be told though I don't trust him or like to talk to him. He's just not a nice man and if I have an issue and tell him he doesn't help or talk he judges and then throws pills at me.

Maybe you should change your therapist. Mutual trust is the most important thing, if you don't like him probably you're not going to get better, and often pills are not the solution. I'm not an expert when talking about therapies, but that's what I think. You have to find the therapist that's good for you. I hope you're gonna get better

Hang in there Dannyboy, hope you have a positive turn in your fight.

dannyboy65 said:

I've been losing myself more then I have in a long time. It's becoming so bad that instead of just voices, I see things now too. I see the ground move or a wall. I see shadows of things that aren't there. The voices in my head scream and they are not quiet anymore, they don't whisper. I can't sleep without having nightmares.

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I also sometimes see shadows moving.. It really scares me... But this usually happens when I am alone.. I would see a shadow run very fast and disappear.. This has started happening to me lately.