It's not negative thoughts. Everyone hates me, and I can prove it!

I feel so left out and alone all the time. Never gets invited to anything. Seeing my coworkes had a party or been togher the next day on facebook. It hurts.

I always stand on the sideline watching the others become friends. Now during the summer, there are some new people. They have already becomes friends with the other people there.

I tried to be more social. The only thing that happend, was that I felt even worse, when people from work blocks me on facebook, and just goes away if I aproach them at work.
Yeah it hurts.

Still the psychologist told me I don't have social anxiety. She said that I look all normal and there are all negative thoughts. Yeah right. If she had been going through life like this, only get rejected, have no friends, noone to talk to I'm sure she would have negative thoughts aswell.

Apparantly I'm all normal and I don't have social phobia. I'm a nice guy, very polite and don't look bad at all. Why the hell do everyone I met turn they back on me, if there's nothing wrong with me?

I'm 33 years old now. Never had a girlfriend. Never even kissed a girl. Every girl I meet just run away from me.

It doesnt help being nice and polite. People just choose to hate me when they see me.

I wish I just could go to sleep and never wake up again. everything feels pointless.

Ever thought about dropping everything and hitchhike around the world?

I am the same as you. I also never had a girlfriend my entire life...And I never even touched a girl.... I also don't have any friends.. And I don't have anyone to talk to... When I try to talk to people in facebook, they don't respond to any of my messages... Even my family members do that to me... They shut me out... There is no one to help me... Everyone tend to ignore me... I am very helpless and hopeless...

I used to feel the same, wanting to be friends or go to a party, until I don't care anymore because it just doesn't go well, the anxiety is always there. I turn down invites to social events, nothing good will come out of it and I probably won't enjoy, I lost interest in many things.

I use to be outgoing and semi extroverted, but I changed when I found people talk so much shit about me, and about each other. I was more timid and let people walk on me before but I was a oblivious idiot living in a blissful world, but I did have friends. Now I am more of an a-hole and rather not deal with people.

Because I am a short male, people assumed they can just walk all over me until I stand up for myself, then they get all pissed off and will litterally go to a random person and talk shit about me. When I confront them they get all pussified and cowardily.

When I am feeling confident people label me as arrogant and pretentious. For instance I'll be smiling, feeling good and people will have the audacity to ask me "Are you high?" or "Why are you so happy?" in undermining, condesending tones, and when I ask them "Why does my happiness piss you off?" They shutup and talk shit as they walk/drive away, never to my face though.

If I don't show enough attention to a girl or meet her standards of flirting they call me "gay". If I don't act like a meek, feeble, person in front of men, they try to insult me. I am courteous and respectful or try to be, unless I am treated badly. I do come off as a drill sargeant type though and people generally feel intimidated by me, but for the most part its because I am a very short male they treat me differently than other people. In turn I'd rather just not deal with people unless I absolutely have to.

Perhaps you are being too nice to the point that you come off as passive or weak. It happened to me and I've seen it in others. I'm not advocating that you become aggressive, but perhaps more assertive and change the kind of energy you give off. I have noticed that improved my interactions very much over the past couple of years. It's a thought however. I mean, other then that, you can only be dealing with horrible people. It happens. In my one and only year of highschool in the previous country I lived in most of the students were bordering on savage.

I have felt the same way,still do at times, feeling that everyone hates me. It just feels like it, it looks like it, it is it, it seems. Maybe I'm wrong but even so, even if they hate me there's nothing I can do. I can't try to please haters, they hate me anyway. Even a God gets so much hate and who knows if he even exists. Hate me but I will try to not let it eat me. its hard but I try to overcome it as much as I can. I hope you overcome this OP I know its hard but what else ca you do.

xnn said:

I feel so left out and alone all the time. Never gets invited to anything. Seeing my coworkes had a party or been togher the next day on facebook. It hurts.

I always stand on the sideline watching the others become friends. Now during the summer, there are some new people. They have already becomes friends with the other people there.

I tried to be more social. The only thing that happend, was that I felt even worse, when people from work blocks me on facebook, and just goes away if I aproach them at work.
Yeah it hurts.

Still the psychologist told me I don't have social anxiety. She said that I look all normal and there are all negative thoughts. Yeah right. If she had been going through life like this, only get rejected, have no friends, noone to talk to I'm sure she would have negative thoughts aswell.

Apparantly I'm all normal and I don't have social phobia. I'm a nice guy, very polite and don't look bad at all. Why the hell do everyone I met turn they back on me, if there's nothing wrong with me?

I'm 33 years old now. Never had a girlfriend. Never even kissed a girl. Every girl I meet just run away from me.

It doesnt help being nice and polite. People just choose to hate me when they see me.

I wish I just could go to sleep and never wake up again. everything feels pointless.

Click to expand...

I feel the same... I'm in the same situation. Tonight I went out to a nightclub even though I'm introveted,shy & got SA. The thing is it feels likes people around here dont care about me, dont understand me & dont wanna help me( or give me a hand). Why can't get girls ever make the 1st move?? I see them chatting to othe boys but they NEVER talk to me & I wanna know why?? It feels like girls love me but NONE of them wanna have sex with me?? I've never kissed a girl, never had sex with a girl & never been in a relationship & I'm tired & sick I dont know what to do?? The worse part is I live in a foreign country in France near Marseille where you have to speak french they don't speak english & they are very unpleaseant & alphamales so they dont understand what you're going through cause thay're all airheads!! Like tonight I could see girls who were teasing me & waiting for me to make the first move but I'm so shy & have SA they dont understand that why cant they talk to me they're not "mute" are they?? so why do boys always have to make the first move when some of us are shy,introverted & have SA?? I'd like an explanation....
Basically I'm relying on meeting girls to have sex at nightclubs( since most boys & girls are looking to get laid its the truth!!) but I hate singing & dancing. And tonight it seemed like everyone was singing & dancing except me cause I can't dance & besides I injured my foot & had an operation so Im not good at dancing or singing. So there I was just standing at the bar waiting for a girl to talk to me( I went to sit down next to girls but nothing ever happened, I mean there were like 2 girls who made the FIRST move & spoke to a boy sitting next to me!! Why can't they talk to me?? I don't get it, going to a club on a weekend is a way to have one night stands with girls & to have sex with girls but I just find it pointless listening to shitty music, spending 8 euros on a bottle of beer & a shot of vodka!! & waiting for a girl to talk to me which they never do?? I dont know what I'm supposed to do anymore where can I meet girls besides nightclubs which I hate btw??

I used to think I was nice and polite, but I was painfully awkward. Very hard to succeed socially like that.

Like Kiwong said, you might just be awkward socially. I wouldnt go as far as to say that people hate you. But if someone is awkward, it can make the people they talk to feel nervous/uncomfortable. And to be honest that shows their insecurities also. Ive awkwardly engaged some people that were so confident, that they didnt let my body language phase them. While others avoided me like the plague. Anyways as much as it sucks, learning how to talk is really the only way to avoid that that I know of.

spider04 said:

I used to feel the same, wanting to be friends or go to a party, until I don't care anymore because it just doesn't go well, the anxiety is always there. I turn down invites to social events, nothing good will come out of it and I probably won't enjoy, I lost interest in many things.

Click to expand...

Yeah, same here.. My life is so boring..:sad:

Most of you simply want to confirm his worst suspicions?

What kind of support is that?

xnn said:

I feel so left out and alone all the time. Never gets invited to anything. Seeing my coworkes had a party or been togher the next day on facebook. It hurts.

.

Click to expand...

the same thing happened to me too.. I never get invited to anything...

I feel for you xxn / Depression4life. It was the same for me. Its tough, it does seem like everyone else is successfully doing the party scene and the nightclub thing at that age.

But everyone is different and not everyone should feel compelled to take that path, and actually a very large number of people don't, they're just much less visible. There are plenty other ways of making friends, building a social life and getting into relationships.

After repeated party/nightclub fails myself over several frustrating years, and repeatedly beating myself up over it, I accepted that I just wasn't suited to that kinda thing. I also never fitted in at work too well as most colleagues were party animals. I realised I needed a different path and started seeking alternative places to meet people.

What worked for me was small-scale low-key evening classes / part-time courses at a local college. Ok, it doesn't sound very cool, may even sound dull to some, but I didn't care, it felt more comfortable for *me*, I felt more relaxed, I was with like-minded people and I was then able to fit in better. As a consequence after a few years doing different short courses in various subjects and gaining some self-confidence, to my utter amazement I actually ended up being able to choose between several girls who were interested in going out with me.

If classes don't appeal then look out for groups you could join. Camera clubs, walking groups, art groups, whatever. The important thing is to choose something you feel comfortable with. And if you want to meet girls just make sure you choose an activity that girls are actually likely to go to as well, welding classes are probably not a good bet. ;-)

Once you've joined something don't put yourself under any pressure, cut yourself some slack, don't expect something to happen in the first week, first month or even first year, chill out, relax, enjoy, make friendships and see what happens.

Maybe you aren't taking the massive intelligent action that is needed. Work on your physique, social skills, seductive skills and see if you see a change. I find it hard to believe that you are repellent to every single person on the planet. Read the books that are in my thread I created yesterday and watch videos on youtube: some of the best are by Anthony Robbins, Joe Dispenza and RSD. Just keep working day after day and do that for over a year, and then tell me you didn't see an improvement.

Requiescat said:

Perhaps you are being too nice to the point that you come off as passive or weak. It happened to me and I've seen it in others. I'm not advocating that you become aggressive, but perhaps more assertive and change the kind of energy you give off. I have noticed that improved my interactions very much over the past couple of years. It's a thought however. I mean, other then that, you can only be dealing with horrible people. It happens. In my one and only year of highschool in the previous country I lived in most of the students were bordering on savage.

Click to expand...

Being aggressive doesn't really help that much though, sure it vents off steam that you've built up but the problem always exists. The world is so biast towards short men its rediculous; I get treated as inferior by almost everyone I come across and people openly disrepect me or talk shit when they know they can get away with it(Driving a car and shouting at me if I am walking) and half the time its people I never seen before, but people have always talked shit to me and about me until I've just gotten to the point where I've had enough. Had I been in this mindset in Highschool I'd fought alot of people.

I know it comes off as petty, but I seriously wish it was legal to fight someone if they bad mouth or disrepect someone. So I guess in that sense they won because I let them get to me.

So I completely understand what the OP is going through and its not in your head man. I sware I should video tape a day in my life and show all the bullshit I go through daily to show you that you aren't the only one.