thor01

I have to admit, that sometimes I feel really jealous. For example there is one girl in my college course who is really sweet as a person, and who is quite shy, especially compared to the others, I would love to talk to if I found it easier and had the opportunity to, (I don't consider her the "perfect one", or even someone I want so badly as a girlfriend but would love to just make some kind of connection with) but today in one lesson one of the more popular guys was talking to her and she was talking back as well, in a friendly, laughing way, which there is nothing wrong with, but I just couldn't help feeling jealous and bitter. Just the fact that if people like him talk to her and seem interested she might capitalise on that and forget me, who I think would make a better connection than him as a person. Hopefully that won't happen, but I just felt jealous at that moment. Or maybe jelousys the wrong word, maybe just frustrated or sad.

gio289

wow thats all too familiar. When that happens i ususally forget it in a couple of days (after thinking about it ALOT), and then look someone elses direction. Sooner or later, when I dont hav those same feelings i used too, im more comfortable to go up and talk to her. Only problem is that if she was too show any good signs, i might start to like her a bit too soon.

Dont ever forget the moment u began to doubt, transitioning from fitting in, to standing out...

recluse

I'm the same, i feel inadequete to outgoing guys who find it easy to talk in a casual manner with girls. When i was in college there was on guy on my course who was the outgoing type and to be honest he was a prick! Anyway the girls all swarmed around him like flies around a turd, not that i think that they fancied him but just the fact that he had this charisma which attracted people whereas i repelled people at college.

Also whenever i have a love interest if i see her talking to another guy i feel really jealous to the point i give up even trying to talk to her. And no matter who the guy is i will feel inadequete.

Moonchild

Outgoing guys usually scare me and I believe they scare all shy girls. I mean, they seem really different from me and I don't feel comfortable around them. I believe thor that your shy girl already knows that all these outgoing people are nothing but glam and that nice people are the quiet ones. Who would chose a party animal with millions of friends (spooky) instead of a reliable guy with whom one could hang around watching movies, taking quiet walks etc. Good luck anyway

thor01

Thanks for your replies, it makes me feel better knowing other people feel similar.

And yeah Moonchild I was thinking that, I hope that's the case here. Just hard to tell sometimes. I'd be fully satisfied with just becoming friends in this case, which makes it even stranger and more jealous, for me to feel jealous

Violaine

I've grown up to be jealous, bitter, and envious but it's just all these years of frustration and not being able to keep up with others and havn't found my own path to happiness. I don't usually become friends with pretty girls because of my insecurities. I've now accepted the fact that guys aren't falling over theirselves to talk to me anymore and I play the background and become introverted and unmoved by attention. Might not be the best way but at least i'm not being desperate.

thor01

Jelousy crept in again today when I heard the same guys friend, a male, who he was out with last night, mention that he (the one I mentioned before, not his friend who was saying this) "got laid" and that he wasn't in today because he was hung over. I'm not jealous about the hang over, that's an advantage I have of not drinking. I just felt jealous about the other part.

Ashiene

Yup. Why would a girl choose me over someone who's more outgoing, more sociable, more interesting, has lots of friends, is funny, is cool, is athletic, etc? It's survival of the fittest.

I was waiting for so long, for a miracle to come, everyone told me to be strong, hold on and don't shed a tear. Let the rain come down and wash away my tears; let it fill my soul and drown my fears. Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun. A new day has come...

klytus

That depends on the girl, after all. She might choose you because she values other characteristics more than the ones you mentioned. Wise women will generally shun outgoing, sociable, cool, funny and athletic men with lots of friends. Those aren't the fittest - they are among the dumbest, and the most likely to betray, lie, use, abuse and leave. Survival in our modern world requires a different set of skills. If someone is so into looking good and being socially accepted, that his entire life revolves around friends and chicks, then that someone isn't particularly worth knowing anyway. You wouldn't want a girl who has the hots for such men, would you?

klytus

As far as my experiences go, it's said type of socially accepted men that caused most women around them temporary unhappiness and emotional problems. People who are sociable must have much in common with mainstream society - otherwise they wouldn't be accepted, or couldn't make others relate to them sufficiently to befriend them. People who don't have much beyond membership of this species in common with most others alive, can't be sociable without faking it. They are almost doomed to being outcasts. What mainstream society deems 'cool' and 'funny' almost amounts to 'dumb' and 'immature'. Athletic people spend much time toughening their bodies, time they could, in principle, use to become more knowledgeable, but that wouldn't be as socially desired as more muscles, better smiles, better jokes, and more durability for alcohol exposure.

Not all who feature those traits are shallow, dumb abusers, of course. It's always about a 'significantly high number', over-generalizations just serve to make a point. But then, it's possible that I am surrounded by retards and most people are actually quite loveable and bright. Perhaps you are right and I just have met the wrong people in a much higher number than I previously thought.