creep_x

i don't mean to be rude but u can either bitch about ur SA or do something about it, here are somethings which have helped me a lot
i suggest everyone here to try them out & i know a lot of you must be already knowing aboutthem but maybe u might have not been that motivated to try them or whatever....

CBT has helped me a lot to overcome my SA
i would suggest everyone here to get a tape of 'overcoming SA step by step'
& always talk slowly no matter where u r, i think it decreases 70% of ur anxiety
if u can't get it, heres what u have to do..
simply prepare a transcript of positive thoughts & say them loud so that u can hear ur own voice.. it is very very improtant that u *say* them, not jsut read them
do it daily for 30 mins at least
e.g 'i know that my thoughts are not always rational'
some that i made for myself-
'suddenly i realize that all these fears & negative thoughts that i had are nothing but bad illusions made by myself'
'no matter what i am always calm & relaxed'
'i have complete control over my thoughts & emotions'
'i can look people in their eyes'
' i love the evolution thats taking place in me '
'i dont care what people think of me, i love myself'
'my "filter" prevents negative thoughts from entering my brain, it simply only allows positive thoughts inside'

try to meditate for a couple of minutes everyday, after meditation visualize urself the way u want you want it to be, not the current you

Also if u can, get books on 'mind power'(there r lots of good books having similar names like that..total mind power etc), 'the power of ur subconscious mind' & 'the secret' video/book etc ,there r tons of good self help books out there..
about the secret - the law of attractions (& quantum physics) says that u attract whatever u think or feel .. like i said in another post of mine..
so 1st of all stop all ur negative thoughts! i know sounds easy but u can at least minmize them
more on this-
http://www.law-of-attraction-info.com/
http://www.thelawofattraction.com/

i ll be really happy even if i could affect a single persons life, i know how SA is & how cruel people can be, if u have problems trying/implimenting whatever i said feel free to pm me
any thoughts/suggestions/ideas are welcome

You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything

Argamemnon

I can't do this when I have to perform (at work for example). Maybe in other areas of life I can.

creep_x

u can do it at home (if u r saying that u r having a problem with 'saying' at workplace)
u can say this mentally to urself when u r at work & while at home u can do it verbally
' i feel relaxed at work, there is nothing to be worried about ' & 'work is just a routine thing & i realize that my anxiousness was unnecessary'
just do it pal, nothing is stopping u from trying it
best of luck

You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything

Day_Tripper

Bitching about it is quite fun actually.

http://img297.echo.cx/img297/5382/wabanner3rv.jpg

Helyna

Yes, people can make or break it. And you do have to laugh. Add that to your list of things to do, along with the things you say. very good for you.
I like this post.

"Usually a person has more faith in their fear than faith in their future."
-Doug Firebaugh

Argamemnon

I agree. When you have enough people to spend time with and feel totally comfortable around, and enjoy their company, social anxiety will probably disappear for the most part.

Acme

Good post. I've been working on something similar to this for a good while now. Am finally down to the last line (or at least I hope it's the last line as I'm really tired of working on it). Am looking forward to it as I really need it. The key to getting this to work is consistency - doing it / listening to it / visualizing it / feeling it / becoming it EVERYDAY. Have it become a part of your life in which you make it one of the most important things you do everyday over the months. Through constant daily repetition it will begin to set in permanently over time.

Proud to be a loner.

PennyLane

The things you guys said about having a few people to laugh, chat and be comfortable with does make such a huge difference!!

In my first year at uni (so 2 years ago nearly) I got on so well with the girls I lived with and was so comfortable that i was totally relaxed....forgot all about my SA and we actually threw parties.....YES I HOSTED A PARTY!!! I met loads of people while I knew them and I was always really comfortable because I had a support system and they made me feel that i was 'normal' and capable of being a fun friend to be with. we ended up as quite a decent size group of great girly friends, which I felt an integral part of...not just an extra.

At this time I also met my boyfriend, who was pretty popular...but I actually had the confidence to be with him even though I knew some other people were interested. I actually didn't feel like, well they're better than me...I should walk away, for once in my life and we were pretty happy for over a year.

Anyway...the girls were only here for a year and then went back to the UK....and I ended up spending more time alone again..i didnt find the same relationship with my new flatties...I had no one but my boyfriend and my SA started coming back so i think that put too much pressure on us so we broke up.

Now im alone day and night...and the SA is in full throttle!

In a just over a year I've gone from parties, nights out, meeting people with confidence to back to where I started.....but I swear all you need is a few good, fun people...who like you and can show you how easy friendship is meant to be!!

I don't know how to put this... but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. - Ron Burgundy