Knowing first names

Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
I've just recently noticed something about myself that I never realized was an issue. I hardly ever remember the first names of people I meet. I didnt dawn on me until Ive started to notice that people who I've either just met or didnt even notice seem to know me by name. Is this just me or is this a common thing for people who dont socialize well? Can anyone relate? If it werent for facebook I wouldnt remember anyone except close family. Maybe Im just too self centered.
 
Argentum

Argentum

Well-known member
Many people seem to have some form of trouble remembering details for people they don't know well, whether it's names or faces. I tend to forget names, but remember other details. I couldn't tell you the names of some of my classmates, but I could tell you their field of expertise, work experience they'd mentioned, which ones are married, etc...
 
lilmutegirl

lilmutegirl

Well-known member
I have always had trouble remembering people's names. I try to avoid using names in conversation and hate introducing people, for fear of using the wrong name. I even got two of my co-workers' names mixed up for over a year (no idea why). I knew their names, but whenever someone said "Melissa" I thought of "Lisa" and vice-versa...
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
Yeah I have that problem too, but I think the reason to it is that I'm too nervous when people introduce themselves to me so I don't pay much attention to what they are saying.
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
They say the best way to remember someone's name is to repeat it back to them as you're shaking hands, that it forces your mind to make an association with their face.

Apparently the reason we can't remember names when we meet people is that our brains are too busy trying to determine more important things about the person, namely, whether or not they're a threat to you. If you have social phobia, imagine how much more so this would be the case.

I've noticed that people always seem to remember my name as well, maybe when you're shy the other person is able to asses you're not a threat quicker, and thus more easily able to remember your name.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Lol yea, I'm usually terrible with names at first.

Him - "hey, I'm Mark'
Me - Hey Mark, I'm Pug. How are you?'

**Pug immediately stands there thinking to himself 'what was this guys name again?'..**
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
Yeah, I have it too.

From what I hear this is a common social problem, even among non-socialphobes. It even happens when you're aware of it and try to hear their names, but because you're so focussed on listening and remembering, you end up missing their names entirely. It's hilariously ironic.
 
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Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
"Hey--- there!" "Hey Eric!" "Yeah man, what's up?" "Not much Eric" .... "Yeah... man... so..."
"See ya Eric!" "See ya... man!"

Yeah I can have issues but Im within range just--- can be haha bad when it's like multiple choice you know it's one of a few.

OR reverse when you know their name and they clearly forgot yours. I've known a guy at gym years we talk whenever see and friendly he definitely doesn't know my name, after this time he'll never ask haha. I wouldn't too.
 
awkwardamanda

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
My biggest problem is that I don't get people's names because I'm too afraid to actually introduce myself. When I was in school I'd occasionally talk to people in class (yeah, not that often) but I could never introduce myself. The more I talked to someone, the harder it got. The introduction should happen early on so after awhile it just seemed too late. I always just hoped the other person would do it first and sometimes that didn't happen.

I've been doing office temp jobs for awhile so I meet a lot of new people (many of whom I'll meet briefly and never see again anyway). Sometimes I'm only introduced to a handful of people and everyone else is just faces. Sometimes I'll be shown around and introduced to a lot of people at once. I can't remember everyone's names after meeting them once. And sometimes other staff will smile at me or say hi without necessarily stopping to introduce themselves. When you meet a bunch of people all at once and then don't really see or talk to many of them, you just can't be expected to remember them all.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
A guy introduced himself as Allen, and I called him Adam.

He corrected me twice, and then said "Just don't call me late for dinner."
 
Crankor

Crankor

Member
i am HORRIBLE at remembering names. Very seldom do i remember someones name. People always are like HEY (my name here) and i'm like...oh hey (avoids name) how have you been?....I've gone months seeing the same people off n on without ever being able to recall their name. I just tell them outright now that my name memory sucks and i try to ask them atleast three times within their first presence (assuming i really care to know)
I think part of it might be a sub conscience thing of me knowing their just an acquaintance to just waste time with over pointless banter. who knows
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
awkwardamanda said:
My biggest problem is that I don't get people's names because I'm too afraid to actually introduce myself. When I was in school I'd occasionally talk to people in class (yeah, not that often) but I could never introduce myself. The more I talked to someone, the harder it got. The introduction should happen early on so after awhile it just seemed too late. I always just hoped the other person would do it first and sometimes that didn't happen.
Click to expand...

This is part of the issue Im having right now in class. Usually on the first day everyone stands up and introduces themselves in front and tells a little about themselves. But my brain is usually so chaotic during that time that I dont even HEAR names nevermind remember them. And so after that point no one ever introduces themselves in convo anymore. Heck they rarely even use other peoples names so I have to play detective to find out now.
 
Requiescat

Requiescat

Well-known member
I have no trouble remember names or other details, but I used to feel uncomfortable calling people by their first names. A strange thing I know.
 
S

SCP-087-1

Well-known member
I use to have trouble remembering names. I decided I wanted to be better at it so I made sure to make an effort at remembering them. Now I have no problem and it's become easy.

But even though I know their names I never use them. It feels weird. I don't like it when people use my name in conversation either.
 
awkwardamanda

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
Megaten said:
This is part of the issue Im having right now in class. Usually on the first day everyone stands up and introduces themselves in front and tells a little about themselves. But my brain is usually so chaotic during that time that I dont even HEAR names nevermind remember them. And so after that point no one ever introduces themselves in convo anymore. Heck they rarely even use other peoples names so I have to play detective to find out now.
Click to expand...

Oh, I get it. There was a guy I talked to in class a few times and I ended up having a huge crush on him. Of course, I couldn't introduce myself. I found out his name because I overheard when the prof was handing back papers and when people were talking to him. I have no idea if he ever knew my name or not. And yeah, it is totally weird to use someone's name if you haven't really had a proper introduction. There were quite a few people in my classes whose names I knew either because the teacher called them by name at some point or I just overheard. I was also able to look up my class lists online so if I had someone's first name I could get their last. But I never wanted to say to someone, "Oh hey <so-and-so>..." if they might wonder how I knew their name, or if I wasn't sure if they knew mine. :question: :kickingmyself:
 
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