life going nowhere

i am 23 years old pretty much unemployed and have chronic anxiety,while everyone around me seems to be happy and living interesting lives i am stuck in a vicious cycle of anxiety, alcohol,loneliness and depression,i cant get close to anyone really and am not even comfortable around my family anymore my only hapiness comes from being drunk,i had a girlfriend who was the only person who really knew me but i lost her cause of my anxiety,cause she was very social and ended up cheating on me,having a girl was what kept me going but now i feel ill be lonely forever,i know i have so much to give but i am trapped in my own personal hell

We are roughly the same age (I'm 22), and I suck too because of anxiety. So you are not alone there.

your not alone virtue havin read your post i can totally relate to what u are going through as its exactly the same things for me.All my friends are settled and sorted in their lives and mine seems to have no purpose because of my anxiety,paranoia and depression im stuck i cant hold down a job or anything and im just sitting in my house feeling like im wanting to give up because im so anxious and paranoid. im meant to be starting a confidence building course on Thursday only for 2 hours in the evening once a week i really am goin to try and fight my anxiety's etc and attend if i don't manage to attend the ten sessions ill be happy i attended some.Im going to see my doctor again on Wednesday and going to ask for help to be referred back to the mental health team coz i cant just wait around to be seen by a psychologist in a years time coz of the long waiting lists

hey i know what you feel. i'm twenty two and i feel like beacause of my sp my life is screwed up and i will never be able to fix it. i've been fighting with sp for over 5 yrs and sometimes i felt like i made some progress but now i feel like i'm going nowhere. i'm desperately trying to find a girlfriend coz i've never had one coz i'm the dullest guy imaginable. i feel like i will never be able to find a group of friends to hang out with and will never be considered normal.
life sucks

elProscrito said:

hey i know what you feel. i'm twenty two and i feel like beacause of my sp my life is screwed up and i will never be able to fix it. i've been fighting with sp for over 5 yrs and sometimes i felt like i made some progress but now i feel like i'm going nowhere. i'm desperately trying to find a girlfriend coz i've never had one coz i'm the dullest guy imaginable. i feel like i will never be able to find a group of friends to hang out with and will never be considered normal.
life sucks

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Hey i also class myself as a dull person, i just cant keep friends, all my old friends are board of me, my old girlfriend cheated on me because i couldnt have a proper conversation with her. What can i say, im happy with my appearance but hate my personality.

Hi virtue, sorry to hear your feeling how you are, one thing that helped me get over that feeling was to set myself goals and acheivements, somthing to aim towards, this will give you a purpose in life and something to get up for in the morning.

Hi, Virtue! You have said something very positive of yourself, "i know i have so much to give". That is very good, but i think that apart from having so much to give (others) you have to give that much to yourself too, virtue.
You have to think more about yourself, about what you can do for yourself.
I think sport is very good for releasing anxiety. That is not the solution but keeps you from being more anxious. I am running softly every day.
I think you should do something like that, or you can walk or ride a bike, etc , i don ' t know, but i know that kind of activity keeps you from thinking too much, the more you think, the more anxious you get.
:wink:

virtue said:

i am 23 years old pretty much unemployed and have chronic anxiety,while everyone around me seems to be happy and living interesting lives i am stuck in a vicious cycle of anxiety, alcohol,loneliness and depression,i cant get close to anyone really and am not even comfortable around my family anymore my only hapiness comes from being drunk,i had a girlfriend who was the only person who really knew me but i lost her cause of my anxiety,cause she was very social and ended up cheating on me,having a girl was what kept me going but now i feel ill be lonely forever,i know i have so much to give but i am trapped in my own personal hell

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Know how the cycle feels man I have anxiety and bipolar disorder so I am in an never ending one. I to drink to much alcohol which has become habit now out of loneliness. I know how you feel man, some people consider me a good looking guy but my inability to understand or connect with people has left me distant from the human race I feel at times, my last relationship was 1 year ago now. I am studying at TAFE now cause I didn't want to work but I find it hard to connect with others still who seem very judgmental and from my background I can't relate to that.

Hey you,

I'm 22 years old and have had SA for the last seven. There are times I hate myself and life so much and worst of all don't see a way out of anxiety and managing my emotions. SA can be such an isolating experience and I think there is no worse condition for human beings than isolation.
I'm starting a support group in Sydney cause I want to become pro-active about my recovery and help others and myself along the way. Sharing is liberating. You should come along if you are a local. My email is [email protected]

Best of luck,
noodle

Sounds all to familier we have become our own worst enemies i wish i could give you some advice while we piss away another yet another weekend. Ill try anyway, take small steps firstly find a good job that makes you push your boundaries and continue to do this with every aspect of your life small steps and remember

IT IS NEVER TO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN.

Good luckkkkk mate.

Yep, Virtue.... Been there done that and still going :x I don't know my birth father but always wanted to. Winds up that he died 2 months before I was born! Anyway, I was taken from my mother when I was 4 and my brother and sister were taken too. We are all adopted into separate families now. I don't see them. I have had 2 serious relationships which have resulted in 2 beautiful children but 2 failed relationships. I don't see my son as he is nearly 2000kms away. My daughter I see regularly thank god. My last relationship ended when I woke up and we went down the street and I ended up numb as all hell on my left side. I went to the hospital and they couldn't explain it. 1 month later I was driving and felt a pain in my head and my left side went numb again and I went out to it! You guessed it... I ran into a parked car on the nature strip and came too 200m up the road. I am now seeing a Neurologist and they say that I can't drive blah, blah, blah. That's when my relationship went to hell! My motto is: "Love life like a hole in the head" Things now seem to be looking up a bit but socially I still suck... Oh well, I can always rely on my pal the INTERNET :lol:

Using booze to medicate loneliness

My name is Bob. I am new to this site.

I have a suggestion...it might work for you.

Try going to an AA meeting.

There you will meet many men and women who experienced a cycle of despair in their lives. And used booze as a crutch to cope.

Part of the AA program is to get up and talk about what is troubling you/me. Slowly ...as we learn that its ok to open up and talk about what is going on inside ...we learn a new way of living.

I am not guaranteeing it will work for you. But it might.

be well.

i was considering this. Although rite now i dont have drinking problem coz i dont drink. because its making me even more 'anxious'.

relationships with other people

Rado.....some of these observations/suggestions come from my own journey to SHIFT from a lonely, independent man to a healthier happier person.

By the way I started all this when I was 53 and didn't know what the hell was wrong. Just knew something was wrong. Am now turning 58.

One of the things I have come to realise was that I needed to make healthy choices. Because I used to procrastinate a lot this was never apparent to me.

I found going to a group meeting and learning to talk about "what I was feeling and thinking" was a big breakthrough.

Since I have a brother who was then an alcoholic I started going to Al Anon. There I learned slowly to talk about my pain. One night I cried ...I sobbed for over ten minutes as I tried to talk about my feelings for my brother. First time in my life I ever cried.

My brother has since accepted that he has a drinking problem. And he has gone to AA. And amazingly I have been to AA meetings with him, and heard bits of his drinking story.

For me...and this is just my take on it....keeping our feelings and thoughts bottled up inside is unhealthy. Why - well it results in obsessive thinking and sort of traps us with our own thoughts. Its like there is a poison in our minds and we need to talk about it to get the poison out.

Does that make sense?

Of course, I was pretty dumb. I had to wait until I was 53 to learn to change.

The other thing you might try is some exercise. I used to go bike riding and hiking (bushwalking ) by myself. Hell I did everything all my life by myself.

So when I worked out that this was an issue, I realised that I should try joing a hiking club. VNPA was very good for me.

And there is also many bike clubs around town.

The third thing I wish to share with you concerns realtionships. If I ( or anyone with our issues ) expect ONE and only one person to be good for us we probably are making a mistake. You see that is like an upside down pyramid.

We are USING one person to make us feel good about ourselves. It might work for a short time, but if that relationship goes south then we are back all alone again.

A steady table has at least four legs. So you might want to think about acquiring four friends into your life. That way you don't become dependant on just one person.

Am I making sense here ?

Do ask me any questions you might have about this stuff. Or any other questions you might have.

You are not alone.

I wish Social Phobia was a turd in a toilet bowl, then I could flush it away.

My life seems to be an endless humiliation and its going nowhere

I am omega.

I am all inferior.

prince1 said:

elProscrito said:

hey i know what you feel. i'm twenty two and i feel like beacause of my sp my life is screwed up and i will never be able to fix it. i've been fighting with sp for over 5 yrs and sometimes i felt like i made some progress but now i feel like i'm going nowhere. i'm desperately trying to find a girlfriend coz i've never had one coz i'm the dullest guy imaginable. i feel like i will never be able to find a group of friends to hang out with and will never be considered normal.
life sucks

Click to expand...

Hey i also class myself as a dull person, i just cant keep friends, all my old friends are board of me, my old girlfriend cheated on me because i couldnt have a proper conversation with her. What can i say, im happy with my appearance but hate my personality.

Click to expand...

I also am happy with my looks, although I have been told in the past that I have a nice personality I feel that it sucks! I mean nice personality usually means dull right?

"nice personality".....hmmmm

I would say it means you are ok - average.

Nice Personality

Here is something to think about.

There are two kinds of beauty. Outer Beauty ( OB ) and Inner Beauty (IB).

Our western civilization emphasizes OB.

White teeth, muscular build for males, slender for both genders, long hair for women, etc etc.

Let me tell you that the passage of years will result in deterioriation of OB. Women will get pregnant, loose their slenderness and shape that used to give them self esteem and confidence. Gravity will mean that their faces start to sag.

Because they are obsessed with OB they will spend more and more on cosmetics, diets, gym trainers, and plastic surgery.

I am a 58 year old man so this of course is from the other age that some of you.

And muscular young men will get office jobs, put on weight, develop guts and then huge guts. And their teeth will start to yellow from food and nicotine, and the wrinkles on their faces will get deeper and more prononunced as every ten years go by.

SO IF THIS IS TRUE FOR ALL HUMAN BEINGS WHY DO WE PUT SO MUCH EMPHASIS on OB ?

Is this obsession a form of making us feel good about ourselves, or is to compare ourselves with others - which makes us feel good.

If it is that is very sad.

INNER BEAUTY is about thoughtfulness, kindness, gentle, caring, listening to others with problems. Sharing our time and if asked for advice give it unconditionally ( not expecting it to be followed ). IB lasts all one's life. It does not get wrinkles, it does not get fat. IB is a constant.

Someone of you might think this is too "philosophical" because you want SELF ESTEEM right now. This instant.

That desire is what they call INSTANT SELF GRATIFICATION.

We have instant coffee, instant money out of an ATM, instant internet access.....so why is it so hard to get INSTANT SELF ESTEEM?

I don't know. I just now it takes time.

Be well.