Living an [in]active life

I've been compiling a list of all the things (mainly outings) i did over the course of my life. It's 2 1/2 pages long, and seems a fair bit (my dad liked to go here & there often). Quite a few beaches, walks, rides in our boat, long trips to visit relatives, etc, etc. Also is including things i did as a school student (eg trip to museum, camp).

But now (& for past 10-15 yrs) it's basically been NOTHING. But it's been SO LONG without me doing stuff, that i don't know if i'll ever get back to a more active way of life. Also, i don't live with my parents now, and i don't have transport (bar a motorbike that i don't seem to want to use, due again to habit).

It's no wonder i'm bored all the time, as i never go anywhere or do anything. But it's like a part of me is attached to being inactive - almost like a comfort zone thing.

But i must say that i've always had trouble being "safe" when abroad, due to all the bullying/insults & generally mean treatment i got from the public. That would certainly play a part in my stay-at-home lifestyle. I have a fear of the outside world.

Ok here is my experience with Fear and the Comfort zone. Comfort zone is malleable. If you stay in your room all the time, your comfort zone is your room. If you start going in the other rooms of your house, given some time to adjust, your comfort zone becomes your house. If you go hiking on a particular mountain every week end, after a while this mountain becomes part of your comfort zone.

Everytime you attempt to extend your comfort zone, you are of course faced with fear. There isn't a million way around it. You have to go through it until it's gone. In a first attempt to extend your comfort zone to a new area, you will probably feel silly, clumsy, unprepared and maybe you will think everyone is making fun of you. Whether it's true or not, you have to hush these voices. Sometimes I like to make it into a game and imagine that I'm an alien visiting some place or other stupid things like that.

As does everything else, inactivity becomes a habit, so it will probably be difficult to get out of it and will require a great deal of will. If you're bored in your comfort zone though, it's worth it. Comfort zone is good, but if it's too small, it soon becomes oppressive.

theslowesthand said:

But i must say that i've always had trouble being "safe" when abroad, due to all the bullying/insults & generally mean treatment i got from the public. That would certainly play a part in my stay-at-home lifestyle. I have a fear of the outside world.

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Depends on what you mean by "abroad." Where abroad, specifically, did you receive this treatment? I tend to think with touristy areas, in general, you're given more of a free pass to be a bit awkward or confused, as it is expected.

Bronson99 said:

Depends on what you mean by "abroad." Where abroad, specifically, did you receive this treatment?

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By abroad, i mean away from home. And it was anywhere & everywhere. So that fear of humiliation/ridicule/etc (mainly from children & youths) has stuck with me, even though i don't get much of it these days cause i'm older.

As well as fear of being "attacked" (which could be around the next corner anywhere), there's my OCPD, which makes me not want to do things unless they're initiated in the "right" way (often i think this involves my comfort zone & avoiding doing anything even-slightly "unsafe", unplanned or out-of-the-ordinary).

I'm happier at home, too, but I live in a pretty busy area. Not a big city, but still a city. I don't think I've once left my apartment at any hour of the day or night even to go get snacks and not bumped into at least a few people, kids running around, etc. It's more exhausting than terrifying at this point.

Some places like small bakeries are usually, nice, though. Libraries are hangouts for kids now and often noisy.