Long-Distance Relationships

knr9311

Well-known member
I'm in a long-distance relationship and I was just wondering how others feel about being in one.

Sometimes, I get real distant emotionally with my partner (especially without seeing them for a long period of time) and I was wondering if I'm the only one.
 
For me it's been about 5 years. You?
Sometimes, I get real distant emotionally with my partner (especially without seeing them for a long period of time) and I was wondering if I'm the only one.
Surprisingly, you're not. I guess one could get emotionally distant when living in the same place.

Some of my thoughts about... l.d.r:

1. You should have a job or something like that in order to have enough money to "travel".
2. You should continuously widen your outlook in order not to be boring/disappointing/too self centered.
3. You should continuously improve yourself.

Maybe someone could add something to this list?
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I'd find it tough.
I need to be with the person I love. I know others are different though.
 

NamiraWilhelm

Well-known member
I don't think I could do it :/ Though maybe it keeps the relationship interesting for longer? They've less chance to find me irritating!
 

accidentprone

Active member
No, you're not the only one. It hurts to part from your loved one(s).

I myself haven't been in one, but I can only imagine the pain. You and your partner should make arrangements to meet again soon.
 

knr9311

Well-known member
For me it's been about 5 years. You?

Surprisingly, you're not. I guess one could get emotionally distant when living in the same place.

Some of my thoughts about... l.d.r:

1. You should have a job or something like that in order to have enough money to "travel".
2. You should continuously widen your outlook in order not to be boring/disappointing/too self centered.
3. You should continuously improve yourself.

Maybe someone could add something to this list?

I do have a job to travel.
What do you mean by widen my outlook? Just curious.
& I am improving myself. I work and go to college.
 
knr9311,

It's tough. It's real tough. I am in one right now. Married to her, it's tough.
You both have to talk. Talk about everything. You cannot risk not talking about it, that, whatever, it will crush the relationship. It's harsh words but it is truth.

You can't afford to lose the one thing you two have that brings you connection during those long stretched out days before you meet in person again.Talk it out.

You feel emotionally distant. This is completely normal. Our emotions get tired when they are stressed. And long distance is really stressing! Talk to your partner about this. It will not only replace the scare of silence with something it will lead to a discussion, resolution, connection and less stress.

It is okay to want to do your own thing, too, while trying to push the long days faster. We all need that. Yes, you'll need to let your partner know that you'll be doing such and such. If it is possible, let your partner know that they can contact you by different means (Skype, text, email, etc.). Don't push your partner away, be open.

Be strong in everything you do. Take everything as an experience.
 

knr9311

Well-known member
I tell my partner everything, but there's no resolution. If you get what I mean. It never quite gets through to them.
 

AlienGeranium

Well-known member
I was in a long distance relationship, it was hard to make it work. Openness is important, as it is in all relationships, but particularly in long distance ones. Not knowing the going ons of their life, or what they're thinking or feeling can lead to paranoia and mistrust, or at least it did in my case. It's also very important to stay connected and up to date with each other because it is very easy to grow apart. People go through changes in their life, from personality to interests to whathaveyou, and this can make two people feel like strangers who are dating long distance when they see each other. At the same time though, you have to have things going on in your life too. Job, school, hobbies, friends, something. Otherwise you'll just drive yourself crazy when you're not with your significant other. Every time they go out you'll get a jealous ting. It can't just always be waiting, you'll lose yourself doing that. Or those are some things I noticed in my experience with it.
 
I do have a job to travel.
What do you mean by widen my outlook? Just curious.
& I am improving myself. I work and go to college.


I mean, you both have to talk about something.
So what's the problem? Discuss literally every thing in your lives and see each other more frequently.
 
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I tell my partner everything, but there's no resolution. If you get what I mean. It never quite gets through to them.

You can only do what you can. If your partner isn't making an equal effort don't drown yourself. Tell your partner this - using your words. Tell them that you're being as open and receptive as possible.

At the end of the day you've done what you can do. If your partner won't help that is on them.
 

knr9311

Well-known member
You can only do what you can. If your partner isn't making an equal effort don't drown yourself. Tell your partner this - using your words. Tell them that you're being as open and receptive as possible.

At the end of the day you've done what you can do. If your partner won't help that is on them.

Thanks, I think this is true. I'll try to remember that the next time anything happens.
 

Shant

Well-known member
Sometimes I also get emotionally distant as a coping mechanism - otherwise I just get really depressed at the fact they're several states away and miss them a lot, cry, and so on. I don't think there's really an easy way to deal with these things if the emotions are genuine, unfortunately. :(

Though seconding what someone already said, just continuing to talk about everything keeps you emotionally connected to them.
 

toowilling

Well-known member
I am actually in a long distance relationship until now. What I can say is that, there will come a time when you have just got to deal with it because one can never get used to it.
 

Ignopius

Active member
I have been in a long distance relationship with my wonderful girlfriend since last November. We are both students and right now are just focusing on school. I do want to meet her one day. Luckily Skype exists so we can chat or even talk face to face (we seldomly do).
 

Flowers-Of-Bloom

Well-known member
I'm in a LDR at the moment, I went to visit him overseas for the first time and got back only a week ago. It was very painful to come home and not be with him again. I can't wait to go back in a few months and hopefully sort out living there permanently.

The main thing I think that is important in a LDR is always having an idea of the next time you will meet, that way you have something to look forward to even if you don't get to spend much time on skype. If you don't know when/if you will see each other it seems harder because there is uncertainty about the future of the relationship so it's always important to plan ahead even if it's a year or more in advance (hopefully not).
 

Ignopius

Active member
Welp we broke up after 10 months. I'm broken right now. Be very careful when approaching a long distance relationship.
 

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
It was the most painful thing. I did it for six, seven years. NEVER AGAIN.

A lot of the time it felt like my life was on hold. I had more of a relationship with my phone than with him (THE CONSTANT TEXTING). Eventually we did end up living together, but that was short lived. My shrink said I was afraid of commitment, yet it felt like we had all of the commitment but none of the fun. I was attached, yet, I never had a date on Friday nights. Home alone over and over again. It contributed to my social anxiety for sure; it made me more of a hermit.

Of course, the pro of going out with someone long distance is that when you do break up there is very very little chance of ever seeing them again. The same cannot be said when you date someone local... ah!

(Sorry my post is so negative. If I do have one piece of advice is to have an end date. When will the long distance end? There has to come a time you two will be close enough to see each other with frequency.)
 
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