Love Letter or face to face? A question for the ladies

Chechirom

Chechirom

Member
Hey I am slightly SA or atleast I think I am......anyway. There is this girl I like, she is a friend of mine, and we have some classes together, and I want to tell her how I feel. I was just wondering what would be the most romantic way to tell her. Ladies this is where you come in....would you rather be told face to face or by a love letter which gives a certain place to meet after she knows how you feel? I want to tell her soon...possibly before I leave for thanksgiving break (I'm in college). Another thing I want opinions on is whether I should tell her and then leave on thanksgiving and give her time to think about it, or tell her and see how she feels before I leave, or wait till I get back. Guys you can tell me what you think too.

Thanks, Ben
 
kody

kody

Member
Personally I don't think its the best thing to tell someone you like them. Well in a straightforward way.
I think you're better of saying, in person, something like: I really enjoy spending time with you, would you like to go have a coffee, see a movie, go to a romantic restaurant. :) Sometimes I think its better to show your feelings, rather than say them.

kody.
 
T

Tanya_S

Well-known member
Well if someone ever was to say something like that to me :roll: then i guess i would prefer a letter too cos it would give me more time to think abt it. Whereas, if someone tells me face to face, then i wouldnt know how to react instantly.

Also, i personally think u should give her time and know abt her answer before u leave for the break. otherwise ur just gonna be thinking abt that throughout the whole time during the break...
 
Horatio

Horatio

Well-known member
when I was a niave youth ( 18 ) I wrote a letter to a girl telling her how I felt about her... she replied saying how romantic I was etc so I wrote back again

things went fine until she found out who I was, then she wanted nothing to do with me :cry:

I would reccomend you talk to her in person, that way you dont have to wait to find out if the feeling is mutual and you wont get your hopes up etc. At the end of the day the girl would probably prefer a letter from the heart but when it comes down to it, being romantic doesn't count for shit, you just have to be good looking
 
Chechirom

Chechirom

Member
So I have 3 for a letter and 3 for a face to face meeting. I am also noticing that a lot of you don't understand the situation. Me and this girl are friends right now, we talk a lot and see each other often, I go to a small college. Anyway she knows what I am like, and what I look like, so there isn't a possibility that she will be surprised by what I look like or who I am. As of right now I am leaning towards the letter approach which gives a meeting place when I come back from break, she would also have like a week and a half to think about it...I don't have to give the letter until Friday night so let me know what you think I should do. O and Tanya...I think about her all the time anyway, I will think about her during the break regardless. Thanks you guys...you have been really helpful and supportive, Ben.
 
arachnid

arachnid

Member
I know you asked the ladies, but I had to respond. Judging by your writing you are not in junior high school. Do NOT write a letter. You aren't going to get any points for writing some letter. You won't get sympathy for being shy or having SA.

You should not say explicitly that you are interested anyway. Your actions and attitude should dictate that you are interested. Saying it directly brings up a person's defense mechanisms.....

So, in short, use your actions and mannerisms to indicate interest, not direct wording.
 
allanboy

allanboy

Well-known member
Yeah, go for the face to face. Talk soft, show you want something with her. Show what you are feeling to her.
 
Chechirom

Chechirom

Member
So you really think I shouldn't even tell her my feelings....I can't see why not. Whats wrong with a bit of honesty on my part? I don't want to dance around trying to show her I like for the next month. If she doesn't like someone who can tell her how they feel about her then maybe she is the one that isn't ready for a relationship. Thinking about it now I would be extremely happy if someone came to me and told me they liked me. Also I don't view a love letter as a shy approach to telling someone they like you, what if you just aren't good at expressing how you feel face to face...she isn't the type of person to look down on others either. I'll write a short letter and let you guys read it over....I don't mind especially since you guys have expressed so much interest. I'll post later tonight.
 
pitkreet

pitkreet

Well-known member
why not just text her?

"nvr told u this b4 but i thnk ur byutiful, let's d8?"

never fails, mate...

...or was it never works? can't remember....
 
M

magda74

Well-known member
Chechirom said:
So you really think I shouldn't even tell her my feelings....I can't see why not. Whats wrong with a bit of honesty on my part? I don't want to dance around trying to show her I like for the next month. If she doesn't like someone who can tell her how they feel about her then maybe she is the one that isn't ready for a relationship. Thinking about it now I would be extremely happy if someone came to me and told me they liked me. Also I don't view a love letter as a shy approach to telling someone they like you, what if you just aren't good at expressing how you feel face to face...she isn't the type of person to look down on others either. I'll write a short letter and let you guys read it over....I don't mind especially since you guys have expressed so much interest. I'll post later tonight.
Click to expand...

Love letters are great to get. It comes across as romantic, not shy. Her friends will be nudging their bf saying "how come you don't write me love letters,lol.

But seriously, you can take time with the wording and say exactly what you mean. Most girls will truly appreciate the effort and thought that you put into. It allows her the privacy to read it and think about what you say as opposed to being put on the spot and having to respond right away. Unless she's carved from ice, it'll warm her heart regardless of how she feels. OOOOH can't wait for the update, I wish you luck.
 
Chechirom

Chechirom

Member
Alright....I wrote the letter, here it is

I think of you often in the most affectionate way. I imagine us being together and realize how happy it makes me feel. I want to find out if I can be happy with you, the way I am in my dreams, and make you happy as much as I am able to. I was drawn to you the way a moth is drawn to the flame and I long to feel your warmth and bask in your glow.

When you get this I will be gone for the holidays, but you will be in my thoughts as you are now. When I return I will be waiting for your answer at the stone circle on the lawn outside Old Main at 5:00pm on the Tuesday I get back.

Sincerely, Ben, Your friend if nothing else

Tell me what you think....please be constructive if not supportive, I am kind of anxious at this point.

Ben
 
redlady

redlady

Well-known member
Goodness, i think i would cry if someone wrote me something like that.
It is very eloquent and sentimental, quite simply it is lovely. It is an obvious testament to your feelings for her - but without being demanding -i like it and i think you should give it to her.
 
M

magda74

Well-known member
Wow Chechirom,
You have a nice way with words. I especially like the rendez-vous at the stone circle. A very romantic touch.
 
kody

kody

Member
Its very sweet

might I suggest tho

say love Ben and don't say Your friend if nothing else

imho

:)
 
allanboy

allanboy

Well-known member
Nice letter you got there, but, go for the face to face anyway. I dont know, a letter sounds too.. erhm like, not appealing enough.
 
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