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Old 06-01-2010
mysissucks's Avatar
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My folks split at 7. My live in partner claims it's why I have little to no self esteem. So is a girl's confidence in the hands of her father? Is this true? What can I do about it?
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Old 06-01-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abeautifulmind View Post
My dad passed away when I was at a young age, and while I did lose some confidence I think it was more of a safety feeling for me. If you are not getting the right parenting I think it can contribute to SA. I think single parents can raise their kids to be quite successful though. You just need really a supportive parent(s) who nurture you.

It's funny your screen name is "a beautiful mind". My mom raised us. While getting her phd and suffering from bipolar/schizoaffective disorder. She literally is that character. She is a math professor, with the illness, raised two girls alone while doing a career.

So ok then. This guy I'm living with is an idiot. My low self esteem is caused probably by something else. Thanks for commenting.
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Old 06-01-2010
 

My father killed himself with alcohol when i was 13.

I think losing a parent can greatly effect someones social skills because in many cases parents are the sole role models for how to act socially.

I think the fact that my father was never really there for me and never really demonstrated social norms to me ( he had SA) damaged me more than his passing.

One of the key jobs of parents is to teach or demonstrate proper social behavior and if you loose a parent and never really get that coaching, it can affect your confidence a great deal.

I also agree with abeutifulmind in that a single parent can still raise a great child and loosing a parent doesn't automatically lower your self esteem or confidence.

However, if you lack that social coaching or you do not get praised enough as a child, i think it can lead to low self esteem and confidence issues.

In my case it surely has.

Hope this helps and i hope you find the roots of your problems so you can begin on the road to recovery. : )
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Old 06-01-2010
Lorraine Manca's Avatar
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maybe fear of abandonment, but i truely dont think it causes low self-esteem
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Old 06-01-2010
lyricalliaisons's Avatar
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I don't think that's completely true. I think it depends on who someone is raised by, & how they are raised, not by whether they had a father or not. As long as someone has a good parent, or good parents, who make them feel proud of themselves, regardless of the sex of that parent, (or parents), someone can definitely have good self esteem.
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Old 06-01-2010
 

I dont really agree with your partner .

We sometimes look for a reason for ourselves or those we love as to why we are how we are ....it makes it easier to cope with I suppose.

This is only my opinion , but its who brings you up that counts in my eyes , who is there for the upsets and the joys , and that can be one parent, bioligical or not.

If your mum or dad said it was your fault they split , or you wasn't wanted etc etc (like many horror stories I have heard) then I could understand you having problems over it.

Your mum sounds like a hard working determined woman btw
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Old 06-01-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fudgy View Post
I dont really agree with your partner .

We sometimes look for a reason for ourselves or those we love as to why we are how we are ....it makes it easier to cope with I suppose.

This is only my opinion , but its who brings you up that counts in my eyes , who is there for the upsets and the joys , and that can be one parent, bioligical or not.

If your mum or dad said it was your fault they split , or you wasn't wanted etc etc (like many horror stories I have heard) then I could understand you having problems over it.

Your mum sounds like a hard working determined woman btw
I guess I'll never figure out what my problem is.

She really is. I just can't believe everything she's done and overcome.
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