Making new friends

Mary · 09-01-2006

I want to make friends but am having a hard time with it. I have only ever had 2 friends my whole life, I'm 29..and now they are both kind of leaving my life. One has gotten married and moved to another state and the other has just adopted 3 kids plus the one she allready has and I know she won't have any time left to spend w/me. My question is this: How do you make new friends?
Is it just me or is it harder to do when you are older than when you were younger? And how do we, who have Sp go about it? :? Any suggestions?

aguppylife · 09-01-2006

It gets harder as one gets older as you have already seen. Everyone gets on with their life.......family, jobs, and what-not. My suggestion: Get some furry friends. Cats and a dog have pretty much been my only friends for a few years. Yeah, some human friends sounds fun, but where do we find them?

Lotrsfan · 09-02-2006

i think it's much easier to make new friends when your young, coz you met them through school, college etc. But when you've left school, college etc, they kinda drift away from you, coz they are starting a family, or just want to concentrate on getting the career. I think it's no fun if people manage to have friends when they are older though, coz well when your young and you have friends, you can have sleepovers, go to the cinema, act really silly around them. But when your older, you can't have sleepovers, and act silly, and well you can go to the cinema i guess, but it's more fun going to the cinema with friends in your younger days. I have no friends, and i'm 20. But i think what's the point coz I can't have fun with them, and i wouldn't really go out with them, to say nightclubs, coz of my social phobia, so really it's best me being without no friends.

Hope · 09-02-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mary

My question is this: How do you make new friends?
Is it just me or is it harder to do when you are older than when you were younger? And how do we, who have Sp go about it? :? Any suggestions?

My suggestion (FWIW) is try to concentrate a bit less on the 'fun' (as other repliers seem to stress) and focus on common interests. Join groups - even if it seems hard at first. There are church groups, hiking groups, chess groups, writers groups, stamp groups, nature groups, support groups ... The fun will come later.
It may get a bit harder as we age, but it won't happen sitting at home. Work and school I never found a good friends source, but everyone's different.

(I've only had a modicum of luck myself on what I'm preaching, but it's always a work in progress, and things would be worse otherwise.)

good luck - H

Quixote · 09-02-2006

I wish I could help :roll:

All I can say is that I've seen my father making new friends well into his late forties, mainly through work-related contact though. I guess his type of job is especially suited to the purpose, but still, it means that it is possible...

As for me, age 24, I have a couple of acquaitances that I seldom see and I don't always feel confortable with, a couple of people living abroad that I occasionaly write to (on the verge of losing them as I tend to not reply to their mails due to lack of news), and zero friends.

LoneWolf09 · 09-03-2006

I am actually trying to make some new friends myself, since most of mine have sorta faded on me. Its very hard and time consuming and sometimes may not work, which may be why some don't try it. Here is what I am doing now.

First off, I started talking on the phone. I'd set a time to make the call, but most of the time I kept postponing it, eventually I said to myself that enough is enough and I just went through with it. I feel if I call everyday I would be a pain in the neck, so I set it for every week or so. After a while I realized that it wasn't going to work since nothing I said on the phone actually carried over. Right now Iam planning to actually talk in person, usually if they are alone, and as odd as it may sound, when look at it in their point of view, that may actually work, say "How are you doing?" (if you know them) or " Hello, my name is ______, who might you be?" (if you don't). First time won't do the trick, but it may get to them after a few times, and then eventually they may start talking to you out of the blue. I have about 2 friends of my own, and I got the easy road out by them talking to me first and that was a long time ago when anxiety didnt affect me much.

Iam really sorry if was I said didn't help much.