Miserable and Jealous of Everyone

Everyone here definetly knows what I mean when I say I hate being a pushover. Years of being quiet, and I'm trying to speak up and be strong for once. But I still can't get anyone to listen to me, not even people who say they want to hang out with me (probably for pity). My older brother is nice, yet he's strong and not afraid to be mean or yell at anyone (even me). My mom expects me to be like her and strike back at someone (with words) when they irritate you intentionally. And what's even worst is I get compared to my 11-year-old cousin a lot just because she talks too much and walks all over everyone.

So basically I'm miserable. People who are shorter than me and/or from a foreign country are bolder and boss everyone around. including me. I want to say something but a lot of times I never do.

Inner strength is a funny thing. You can't gain it from somebody else, and it's definitely not something you can fake. It's something that needs to be nurtured, day in and day out.

First of all, I relate to you a ton. I know exactly how annoying and frustrating it can be to have everybody thinking they can walk all over you, due to the simple fact that they know you're not going to say anything back. They see that you won't challenge them, so they decide there's no chance they'll get confronted - therefore, the risk of humiliating themselves decreases. Prove them wrong. I have a little formula that helps me through these situations - honesty and passion (Don't retaliate - we're not second graders here!). What I mean by honesty is complete openness. Stay in tune to your gut feelings, and freely voice yourself - that means if you have beef or trouble with anybody, you go directly toward them about it. Let people see through you and don't hide anything - know that you're perfect just the way you are.

And by passion, I mean a backbone. Give the honesty a little kick - never avoid confrontation - deal with others accordingly. Feel good about yourself just for being you, and fuck it if somebody doesn't like you. Remember - when you have nothing to hide, be completely honest with yourself & others, and let people know when you feel you're being walked on, their instinct of dominance will diminish simply because they won't see you as a self-suppressing person who won't call them out for their actions!

Sorry for the long post, but believe me when I say it works. Just remember - it ain't gonna happen overnight. Practice makes perfect

I'm thinking ''Why me??...Why does everyone else have normal live????'' I get so pissed off and jealous.