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Old 08-31-2010  
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xtina_fan81's Avatar
 

Default mixed feelings about moving away

im moving to university in a couple weeks. and while im excited and been talking to alot of people online who are on my course etc...im just feelin crappy about what im leaving behind, pretty much nothing. im glad im moving on etc but its the same oldstory..everyone else have their existing friends saying how much theyre gonna miss them when theyre gone..and seems like a lotta peple will have visitors and just things to talk about relating to the friends htye already have. and i like have nothing in that area. none of my "friends" will miss me cause i dont even see them. i talk to them online like once every few months.basically i just wish i was leaving more behind, if that makes sense. itd be nice to know that theres things to come back home for.and that i have support on both ends,both at home and at uni. i feel like im already seperated from everyone else BEFORE IVE EVEN MET THEM cause they all arelady have this mad social life, that i long to have and may have when i move away..but its just the feeling of missing out. i feel like ive missed out on being a teenager even and im 21 now. so much isnt there. sometimes i feel like i stopped living at like 13 years old when my SA kicked in. and im like emotiionally that age. and i dont wanna feel like that cause then ill cut myself off without even realizing it cause i think i wont fit in. just yet another situation where my existing life makes the future harder to look forward to.

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
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Old 09-01-2010  
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Default Re: mixed feelings about moving away

First, congrats. University, never been. Some college have been. Wanted in and out fast to get to work.

We don't have a lot to leave behind, true. Just have to keep moving forward. You are 21. Plenty of time to make things happen. Choose to make things happen. Me I choose, fight AvPD all the way.

When left for college, previous places, a ghost I was.

Go ... make things happen.
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Old 09-01-2010  
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Default Re: mixed feelings about moving away

Best advice I can give is get involved in the community from the first week. It's pointless to dwell on what you have or haven't missed out if you don't do anything about it. Take advantage of what you have in front of you. Join a society; doesn't have to be a fraternity/sorority. Best thing I've done for myself yet in uni (other than studying) is join a professional honor society. Find something that interests you and run with it.

I know it's difficult, but it gets worse if you don't jump on the ball right away as it is in the beginning when there are the most potential new friends, from my experience.
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Old 09-01-2010  
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Default Re: mixed feelings about moving away

Yeah, just focus on the fun you'll have there and the new people you'll meet!!

I was still my own - rather shy - self, but met LOTS of new people and had fun - maybe not as much fun as some hardcore party animal (but then again I've been called 'party animal' too he he - albeit in a bit surprised manner lol)

21 is YOUNG! My cousin went to study much later, and still had fun!!

There will be people with no friends there too, maybe even people from other countries who will probably have zero visitors too.. A girl I know worked/volunteered with them and the students' office and then later got a cool international job!! (well-paid too!) And the people who had friends or bf/gf at home will be much more homesick, usually.. May even just study and write cards home.. (that's what a roommate of mine did, though she was very nice!) You may actually have a better time there!!

For some people, high school friends or primary school friends are most important, some people actually meet people on their intellectual level at University or later.. Maybe you've just 'outgrown' people you used to know before..
And maybe later your and their interests will have changed and you'll be able to have meaningful conversations and interactions again.. People change..
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