More Afraid of Strangers or People You Know?

I find this anxiety to be strange, but wondering if this is typical of SA sufferers.

Put me in a public place where I am sure I will not run into anyone I know, and I feel just fine. For instance, I had to go to the Seattle airport, and since I don't know a soul in Seattle, I felt more comfortable eating at the cafe, walking around downtown, etc. I can ask strangers for directions, etc.


But....

I live in a small town, so I avoid going downtown to shop or eat because I know I run the chance of running into someone I know. Everywhere I go in my city, I'm always assessing who I might run into and ways to avoid that encounter. There's just something terrifying about someone I know catching me out in public (especially a man I have a romantic interest in).


Is this you too? Do strangers or people you know terrify you?

Strangers definitely

I have bad anxiety in both but I've got to say that if I'm around strngers that I'm absolutely sure I'll never see again (if there's a good chance I'll see them agian it don't work) I'm a little more comfortable but not much.

Definitely strangers.

I definetely feel more comfortable around strangers in situations were no interaction is required, if im around heaps of people i know and im not speaking i feel real bad and pathetic, if im around heaps of strangers i feel fine and i like the feeling of seeing other people walking by themselves and not talking, so im not the only one

Hey! I'm new here...

Anyways, strangers for sure! I'm like a completely different person around strangers! I feel comfortable around them because they don't know how I'm 'supposed' to act. They don't know that I'm shy and don't say much. They don't know that I get uncomfortable in certain social situations. I feel like they can't judge me because they don't know me.

The reason most of us are more comfortable with strangers is because we are afraid of being judged/criticised. We are never going to see the person again, so why care what they think of us! We feel very save and comfortable, but its not moving us to the path of healing! May be the key is starting to doing the things we are afraid of even in the light of criticism. I am sure this is hard for non SP sufferes even harder much harder for us! Should we not be biting the bullet at times?Ghee, talk is cheap!

It's the in-between people for me, people that are not exactly strangers but I don't know very well. I'm fine with people that are just going about their business ignoring me, or say a busy shop where you have to interact with a sales person but they do their job and nothing else. A smaller more personal shop would be harder especially when it's a person from my village behind the counter. It's people that want to get to know me that I have problems with or people who might want to chat.
If it's someone I'm never going to see again i'm fine. Last year I spent a week on a small sailing boat with a complete stranger and his son, I was fine!!!

I cannot serve people at work because it's the sort of business where they ask questions and it's a lengthy chat. There's a few people I work with that I feel reasonably comfortable with at work but would be scared to take it out of work on a social level.

I'm more afraid of people i know but haven't seen in a while. I'm confortable with strangers for the reasons everyone has listed (they don't know about pre-existing condition, you don't have to see them again etc.) and i'm often ok with people i see regularly (though this varies depending on the person) but it's the people i know but don't see often.

For example i saw my older brother tonight for the first time in a couple of months and, although my anxiety has been ok the last couple of days, for some reason i was in the situation where we were just catching up but because he wanted to know how i'd been and what i'd been up to i started getting all concious of the fact he was asking me all this stuff and i felt uncomfortable. This is my brother! Someone i've known my whole life and i respect and love and know that he's only asking me because he cares but i felt uncomfortable and i feel guilty for that. I feel guilty for making him feel like he has done something to make me uncomfortable when in fact he's done nothing at all, it's all in my fucked-up mind. I sit there beforehand wondering if i'll start getting anxious when he asks me how my uni course is going. I'm fine if i'm in a casual situation with anyone, like sitting and having a drink and doing whatever cos there are excuses for silence, like looking off in the distance, but as soon as it's just face-to-face contact and they're looking me right in the eye and there's only conversation and pressure for constant converstation then i feel awkward. I feel like these people can see that i'm struggling and am not a happy, normal person.

I am most fearful of people I semi-know. In other words, people who were in my class, I have seen and said hello to before etc. I worry that I will have nothing to say. If I see someone like this as a customer at work, I tend to hide.

more anxios about meeting people i know

I think i am anxious about being seen by someone i know, because i feel that they will pry into my bussiness, for example if i am alone in a restaurant o'r cinema strangers won't give a shit that i appear weird, but people i know will think ''Hmm what a strange guy, hasn't he any friends?''

recluse said:

I think i am anxious about being seen by someone i know, because i feel that they will pry into my bussiness, for example if i am alone in a restaurant o'r cinema strangers won't give a shit that i appear weird, but people i know will think ''Hmm what a strange guy, hasn't he any friends?''

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I'm exactly the same.

Definately people i know, because they know all my weaknesses, they know my personality ..they know how to manipulate me in good and bad ways because of that ...

thats why i find being around family a challenge ...because i know i'll get very personal questions and judgements thrown at me

Strangers, the fear lies in the unknown, what if they dont like me, what if i come across as lame however they dont know me yet ...

recluse said:

I think i am anxious about being seen by someone i know, because i feel that they will pry into my bussiness, for example if i am alone in a restaurant o'r cinema strangers won't give a shit that i appear weird, but people i know will think ''Hmm what a strange guy, hasn't he any friends?''

Click to expand...

I feel the exact same way. I went into a store about a week ago and saw about 4 people that I knew. Every time that I turned around, it seemed like someone I knew was behind me. They kept asking me questions about where I work and stuff like that. It was embarrassing saying that I don't work nor go to school. Then they keep asking more questions.

Or I hate when they talk about how great their lives are when they know for a fact that my life isn't that great. At that point, I just want to go home.

I guess I can say I feel more comfortable around people I know.

People which you have known for a long time are less anxiety inducing, but still you question their motives, and in a sense, these people are some of the the most volatile, because they know your personality more than anyone else. Also, since these people, whether they are family or close friends, are the only people you can interact with, and there isn't a lot, so you may become anxious, because if you somehow mess up, you ain't got nothin.

But for me, as I said before, its people I knew, but hardly talked to in class. Its the random which said hello to me once. Its the people who know you want to impress. It can be just a lack of conversation which will make things awkard and embarassing, they expect you to say something. In reality, turning your head away from them makes things even worse.

I'm more afraid of people I know. I am so much more comfortable in a place where I know I will not see anyone, who I know. I don't care nearly as much about what strangers think of me, I mean I'm never going to see them again so what does it matter so much?

Luna said:

I find this anxiety to be strange, but wondering if this is typical of SA sufferers.

Put me in a public place where I am sure I will not run into anyone I know, and I feel just fine. For instance, I had to go to the Seattle airport, and since I don't know a soul in Seattle, I felt more comfortable eating at the cafe, walking around downtown, etc. I can ask strangers for directions, etc.


But....

I live in a small town, so I avoid going downtown to shop or eat because I know I run the chance of running into someone I know. Everywhere I go in my city, I'm always assessing who I might run into and ways to avoid that encounter. There's just something terrifying about someone I know catching me out in public (especially a man I have a romantic interest in).


Is this you too? Do strangers or people you know terrify you?

Click to expand...

LUNA! You are my hero!

I really felt alone with this one. I usually am a lot happier with people I don't know...and I can talk to them better. Isn't it odd? For me, it's because I feel that since they don't know me, they have no impression of me yet, and if I do something dumb, they will never see me again, and I won't be judged. I feel like the ppl I know have already judged me and don't like me. Strangers don't get the chance not to like me, generally.

Yer like with Uni, i got very anxious, because i knew theyd be seeing me all the time and will obviously work out im an anxious person, wereas if im out of town and go to a shop, id find it easier to engage in a conversation with that person, not 100 percent comfortable, but moreso then with people i have to see more then once