This past month has been crap,
A lot of attempts to get my ex back... But to no avail.
Maybe i should just give up while i got the chance.
I feel so depressed.
Not only have i found out that my grandad's cancer hasn't gone away and he will die, but i have also found out that my dad is cheating on my mum.
I'm sat here right now, drinking Absinthe and listening to "Space".
I love "Space"... It's one of, if not the best band i have ever had the pleasure to listen to.
I find the lyrics are very much like a good drink... Comforting.
They seem to help me escape the crap in my once perfect life.
Five months ago if you asked me how my life was... I'd say it was perfect.
17 years old, engaged to the cutest girl i ever clapped eyes on... Life was good.
The sun shining on a warm, June day... My local town, bright and inviting.
I would take weekly trips down there to get a cake and coffee, then take time to absorb the immense beauty of my surroundings.
But my then fiance wasn't texting or calling me as often as she used to.
Something was wrong.
I found out she didn't know if she loved me or not... That tore me apart, so i decided to call it a day and broke up with her.
That was the hardest phone call i've ever had to make in my life.
Just hearing her cry down the phone sent chills down my spine.
So i put the phone down and just sat at my desk... Cracking open the bottle of absinthe and banging a couple of shots down my neck.
After months of Absinthe and "Space" i turned 18... Happiness at last if not for only a weekend... I can drink down the pub, and buy what a want.
So my 18th party down the pub consisted of a few games of darts, a couple of pints, a shot, and bag of fish and chips with the lads... Bliss.
Now i'm going in a downward spiral... I was selling cigs to teenagers and even made out with a 15 year old girl at her place after she invited me over. ( I KNOW IT SOUNDS BAD BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX )
Right now i'm actively looking for a nice girl... There is one girl who likes me who lives 85 miles away and she wants to come down and have sex... I must say i'm actively waiting for that day.
I'm just trying to lose it and find a good girl who likes me for who i am.
Here's hoping... (Drinks a shot of absinthe)