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Old 09-03-2011  
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Iseesky's Avatar
 

Default My first date experience and kissing

So I wrote a massively large post about my first date, but decided nobody would read it all and deleted it...Here's the short version...

TL;DR When I was 18 I went out on a date with a 22 year old that I had a crush on in high school (though I had never talked to him in high school). It was incredibly awkward and he tried to kiss me (he succeeded before I pushed him away...my first 'kiss') and hold my hand and it made me uncomfortable and he was the opposite of chivalrous (didn't hold the door open for me...made me hold the umbrella despite him being 6 foot and me being 5'2...ignored my movie choice and chose to watch a different one instead). He was very touchy, but less of a horndog trying to get in my pants and more bad with women, I think. Either way, he was a very confident guy who liked talking about himself.

So, with that said...I feel kind of weird about boys (boys as in...men lol). I love boys, but whenever I think of kissing a boy, I think of my first 'kiss' and how awkward it was and how it wasn't pleasant at all. And then I wonder what's going to happen if I go on another date. I've had more guys that have been interested in me (ones that I actually converse with, rather than just listen to them talk about themselves), but I haven't done much about them because I don't want the awkwardness of holding hands or kissing or anything like that. I'm fearful of going on another date. But, even more than that...I just feel weird whenever I picture myself kissing a guy. Kissing seems so weird and gross to me now. :|

I don't even know where I was going with this whole thing. I guess I just want someone to say that they've had an awkward dating experience and that not all of them are like that! Anyone?

Last edited by Iseesky; 09-03-2011 at 08:47 AM..
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Old 09-03-2011  
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Default Re: My first date experience and kissing

First dates can definitely be awkward, and a lot of them are. But it sounds to me like your bad experience was more related to the fact that his personality turned you off rather than just awkwardness.

When you go out with someone you're genuinely attracted to (both physically and emotionally) you'll get a nervous/excited feeling that will override the awkwardness.
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Old 09-03-2011  
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Default Re: My first date experience and kissing

Quote:
Originally Posted by SM1010 View Post
First dates can definitely be awkward, and a lot of them are. But it sounds to me like your bad experience was more related to the fact that his personality turned you off rather than just awkwardness.

When you go out with someone you're genuinely attracted to (both physically and emotionally) you'll get a nervous/excited feeling that will override the awkwardness.
I agree with this. It definetly sounds like this was all of his fault, since he was the rude one. I've definetly my share of awkward experiences with people that I've liked in the past though, so you aren't alone in that.

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Old 09-08-2011  
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Default Re: My first date experience and kissing

Yeah, I think you guys are right. No sense comparing all guys to him.
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Old 09-08-2011  
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Default Re: My first date experience and kissing

Exactly.
Curious though! What made you want to date such a person in the first place? From what you've told us, he just seems like your average scumbag.

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Old 09-08-2011  
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Default Re: My first date experience and kissing

My sister set me up with one of her boyfriend's friends last thanksgiving when I went to her place.
I had told her I didn't want to date for a really long time but she invited him and didn't tell me until after I'd arrived. haha

So; of course I was going to be polite, since it wasn't his fault that she implied to him it would be a date with me.
He showed up and sat beside me on the couch for the length of a 5 minute conversation.
We were watching a movie and I made a joke. He laughed.
He made a joke.
Everyone laughed - then suddenly he got up and said he needed to get something from his coat; went down the stairs... and ran away.
haha
He literally ran away.

My sister's boyfriend tried calling him for an hour afterward, asking him if he was alright and he just said he had to get away.
No further explanation. He knew what he was walking into; I didn't, but I wasn't the one to chicken out because it would've been insulting.
And that was my second 'first date', ever.
5 minutes with a stranger who literally grabbed his **** and ran to get away from me.
It was wonderful.

~

I've known plenty of guys as friends - watched them date people, seen how they treat girls.
Some are not as great as others.
Some are like a shining beacon for girls everywhere! haha
Unfortunately, the second kind seem to be much rarer than the first and there's not surefire way to sort them out by simply looking at them, or judging their character off of a few hours of conversation.

There are admirable guys out there, though.
I guess all you can do is keep trying.
...You've got to kiss a few toads; or however that saying goes.
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Old 09-08-2011  
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Default Re: My first date experience and kissing

Quote:
Originally Posted by WeirdyMcGee View Post
My sister set me up with one of her boyfriend's friends last thanksgiving when I went to her place.
I had told her I didn't want to date for a really long time but she invited him and didn't tell me until after I'd arrived. haha

So; of course I was going to be polite, since it wasn't his fault that she implied to him it would be a date with me.
He showed up and sat beside me on the couch for the length of a 5 minute conversation.
We were watching a movie and I made a joke. He laughed.
He made a joke.
Everyone laughed - then suddenly he got up and said he needed to get something from his coat; went down the stairs... and ran away.
haha
He literally ran away.

My sister's boyfriend tried calling him for an hour afterward, asking him if he was alright and he just said he had to get away.
No further explanation. He knew what he was walking into; I didn't, but I wasn't the one to chicken out because it would've been insulting.
And that was my second 'first date', ever.
5 minutes with a stranger who literally grabbed his **** and ran to get away from me.
It was wonderful.

~

I've known plenty of guys as friends - watched them date people, seen how they treat girls.
Some are not as great as others.
Some are like a shining beacon for girls everywhere! haha
Unfortunately, the second kind seem to be much rarer than the first and there's not surefire way to sort them out by simply looking at them, or judging their character off of a few hours of conversation.

There are admirable guys out there, though.
I guess all you can do is keep trying.
...You've got to kiss a few toads; or however that saying goes.
Wait.. The ****? Why'd he run though? That kinda made me laugh though. Sounds like a dumbass.

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Old 09-08-2011  
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Default Re: My first date experience and kissing

Maybe you should try kissing with girls lol , Joking XD

Ontopic:
There are great guys in the world, who are caring, and want to fight for you truly!
And do not run away if you are a little different in other's people's eyes
There is that special guy who'll find you, you don't need to search

Only to just mention, just take it easy and do things if you are ready and you feel good around this guy you like

A serious relationship solves a lot

when you stay away from certain things, your brain confirms that its something to fear, so face your fears, so your subconcious mind gets used to it

Last edited by Falkor; 09-08-2011 at 01:32 PM..
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Old 09-08-2011  
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Default Re: My first date experience and kissing

I can relate to you a little... I had a first date a few months back, and my god it was awkward. We didn't talk about anything apart from the movie we were watching. I just wanted to get out of there! We didn't kiss *thank god lol* but I can see that guy was just an over confident guy thinking he can get anyone and everyone. I think everyone in their life will meet someone they actually,... like? and there will be no awkwardness? maybe. I'm still to you to know :P

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone.
Close the door on the past.
You donít try to forget the mistakes, but you donít dwell on it.
You donít let it have any of your energy,
or any of your time,
or any of your space
- Jonny Cash
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Old 09-08-2011  
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Default Re: My first date experience and kissing

Quote:
Originally Posted by WeirdyMcGee View Post
My sister set me up with one of her boyfriend's friends last thanksgiving when I went to her place.
I had told her I didn't want to date for a really long time but she invited him and didn't tell me until after I'd arrived. haha

So; of course I was going to be polite, since it wasn't his fault that she implied to him it would be a date with me.
He showed up and sat beside me on the couch for the length of a 5 minute conversation.
We were watching a movie and I made a joke. He laughed.
He made a joke.
Everyone laughed - then suddenly he got up and said he needed to get something from his coat; went down the stairs... and ran away.
haha
He literally ran away.

My sister's boyfriend tried calling him for an hour afterward, asking him if he was alright and he just said he had to get away.
No further explanation. He knew what he was walking into; I didn't, but I wasn't the one to chicken out because it would've been insulting.
And that was my second 'first date', ever.
5 minutes with a stranger who literally grabbed his **** and ran to get away from me.
It was wonderful.

~

I've known plenty of guys as friends - watched them date people, seen how they treat girls.
Some are not as great as others.
Some are like a shining beacon for girls everywhere! haha
Unfortunately, the second kind seem to be much rarer than the first and there's not surefire way to sort them out by simply looking at them, or judging their character off of a few hours of conversation.

There are admirable guys out there, though.
I guess all you can do is keep trying.
...You've got to kiss a few toads; or however that saying goes.
He ran away...? Are you serious??? Haha wow, way to make a first impression. Talk about being chicken s***.

I agree though. It seems unlikely at times but there are good guys out there. Unfortunately, finding someone like that is like trying to find the needle in a haystack. *Sigh* Yepp, toads indeed

Last edited by MaliceInWickedland; 09-08-2011 at 07:38 PM..
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