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Old 09-03-2011
Iseesky's Avatar
Advanced User
 

So I wrote a massively large post about my first date, but decided nobody would read it all and deleted it...Here's the short version...

TL;DR When I was 18 I went out on a date with a 22 year old that I had a crush on in high school (though I had never talked to him in high school). It was incredibly awkward and he tried to kiss me (he succeeded before I pushed him away...my first 'kiss') and hold my hand and it made me uncomfortable and he was the opposite of chivalrous (didn't hold the door open for me...made me hold the umbrella despite him being 6 foot and me being 5'2...ignored my movie choice and chose to watch a different one instead). He was very touchy, but less of a horndog trying to get in my pants and more bad with women, I think. Either way, he was a very confident guy who liked talking about himself.

So, with that said...I feel kind of weird about boys (boys as in...men lol). I love boys, but whenever I think of kissing a boy, I think of my first 'kiss' and how awkward it was and how it wasn't pleasant at all. And then I wonder what's going to happen if I go on another date. I've had more guys that have been interested in me (ones that I actually converse with, rather than just listen to them talk about themselves), but I haven't done much about them because I don't want the awkwardness of holding hands or kissing or anything like that. I'm fearful of going on another date. But, even more than that...I just feel weird whenever I picture myself kissing a guy. Kissing seems so weird and gross to me now. :|

I don't even know where I was going with this whole thing. I guess I just want someone to say that they've had an awkward dating experience and that not all of them are like that! Anyone?
Iseesky is offline  
Old 09-03-2011
 

First dates can definitely be awkward, and a lot of them are. But it sounds to me like your bad experience was more related to the fact that his personality turned you off rather than just awkwardness.

When you go out with someone you're genuinely attracted to (both physically and emotionally) you'll get a nervous/excited feeling that will override the awkwardness.
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Old 09-03-2011
HeadFace's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SM1010 View Post
First dates can definitely be awkward, and a lot of them are. But it sounds to me like your bad experience was more related to the fact that his personality turned you off rather than just awkwardness.

When you go out with someone you're genuinely attracted to (both physically and emotionally) you'll get a nervous/excited feeling that will override the awkwardness.
I agree with this. It definetly sounds like this was all of his fault, since he was the rude one. I've definetly my share of awkward experiences with people that I've liked in the past though, so you aren't alone in that.
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Old 09-08-2011
Iseesky's Avatar
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Yeah, I think you guys are right. No sense comparing all guys to him.
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Old 09-08-2011
HeadFace's Avatar
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Exactly.
Curious though! What made you want to date such a person in the first place? From what you've told us, he just seems like your average scumbag.
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Old 09-08-2011
WeirdyMcGee's Avatar
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My sister set me up with one of her boyfriend's friends last thanksgiving when I went to her place.
I had told her I didn't want to date for a really long time but she invited him and didn't tell me until after I'd arrived. haha

So; of course I was going to be polite, since it wasn't his fault that she implied to him it would be a date with me.
He showed up and sat beside me on the couch for the length of a 5 minute conversation.
We were watching a movie and I made a joke. He laughed.
He made a joke.
Everyone laughed - then suddenly he got up and said he needed to get something from his coat; went down the stairs... and ran away.
haha
He literally ran away.

My sister's boyfriend tried calling him for an hour afterward, asking him if he was alright and he just said he had to get away.
No further explanation. He knew what he was walking into; I didn't, but I wasn't the one to chicken out because it would've been insulting.
And that was my second 'first date', ever.
5 minutes with a stranger who literally grabbed his **** and ran to get away from me.
It was wonderful.

~

I've known plenty of guys as friends - watched them date people, seen how they treat girls.
Some are not as great as others.
Some are like a shining beacon for girls everywhere! haha
Unfortunately, the second kind seem to be much rarer than the first and there's not surefire way to sort them out by simply looking at them, or judging their character off of a few hours of conversation.

There are admirable guys out there, though.
I guess all you can do is keep trying.
...You've got to kiss a few toads; or however that saying goes.
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Old 09-08-2011
HeadFace's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WeirdyMcGee View Post
My sister set me up with one of her boyfriend's friends last thanksgiving when I went to her place.
I had told her I didn't want to date for a really long time but she invited him and didn't tell me until after I'd arrived. haha

So; of course I was going to be polite, since it wasn't his fault that she implied to him it would be a date with me.
He showed up and sat beside me on the couch for the length of a 5 minute conversation.
We were watching a movie and I made a joke. He laughed.
He made a joke.
Everyone laughed - then suddenly he got up and said he needed to get something from his coat; went down the stairs... and ran away.
haha
He literally ran away.

My sister's boyfriend tried calling him for an hour afterward, asking him if he was alright and he just said he had to get away.
No further explanation. He knew what he was walking into; I didn't, but I wasn't the one to chicken out because it would've been insulting.
And that was my second 'first date', ever.
5 minutes with a stranger who literally grabbed his **** and ran to get away from me.
It was wonderful.

~

I've known plenty of guys as friends - watched them date people, seen how they treat girls.
Some are not as great as others.
Some are like a shining beacon for girls everywhere! haha
Unfortunately, the second kind seem to be much rarer than the first and there's not surefire way to sort them out by simply looking at them, or judging their character off of a few hours of conversation.

There are admirable guys out there, though.
I guess all you can do is keep trying.
...You've got to kiss a few toads; or however that saying goes.
Wait.. The ****? Why'd he run though? That kinda made me laugh though. Sounds like a dumbass.
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Old 09-08-2011
Falkor's Avatar
Singing Bird
Elite User
 

Maybe you should try kissing with girls lol , Joking XD

Ontopic:
There are great guys in the world, who are caring, and want to fight for you truly!
And do not run away if you are a little different in other's people's eyes
There is that special guy who'll find you, you don't need to search

Only to just mention, just take it easy and do things if you are ready and you feel good around this guy you like

A serious relationship solves a lot
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Old 09-08-2011
Luka's Avatar
Intermediate User
 

I can relate to you a little... I had a first date a few months back, and my god it was awkward. We didn't talk about anything apart from the movie we were watching. I just wanted to get out of there! We didn't kiss *thank god lol* but I can see that guy was just an over confident guy thinking he can get anyone and everyone. I think everyone in their life will meet someone they actually,... like? and there will be no awkwardness? maybe. I'm still to you to know :P
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Old 09-08-2011
MaliceInWickedland's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by WeirdyMcGee View Post
My sister set me up with one of her boyfriend's friends last thanksgiving when I went to her place.
I had told her I didn't want to date for a really long time but she invited him and didn't tell me until after I'd arrived. haha

So; of course I was going to be polite, since it wasn't his fault that she implied to him it would be a date with me.
He showed up and sat beside me on the couch for the length of a 5 minute conversation.
We were watching a movie and I made a joke. He laughed.
He made a joke.
Everyone laughed - then suddenly he got up and said he needed to get something from his coat; went down the stairs... and ran away.
haha
He literally ran away.

My sister's boyfriend tried calling him for an hour afterward, asking him if he was alright and he just said he had to get away.
No further explanation. He knew what he was walking into; I didn't, but I wasn't the one to chicken out because it would've been insulting.
And that was my second 'first date', ever.
5 minutes with a stranger who literally grabbed his **** and ran to get away from me.
It was wonderful.

~

I've known plenty of guys as friends - watched them date people, seen how they treat girls.
Some are not as great as others.
Some are like a shining beacon for girls everywhere! haha
Unfortunately, the second kind seem to be much rarer than the first and there's not surefire way to sort them out by simply looking at them, or judging their character off of a few hours of conversation.

There are admirable guys out there, though.
I guess all you can do is keep trying.
...You've got to kiss a few toads; or however that saying goes.
He ran away...? Are you serious??? Haha wow, way to make a first impression. Talk about being chicken s***.

I agree though. It seems unlikely at times but there are good guys out there. Unfortunately, finding someone like that is like trying to find the needle in a haystack. *Sigh* Yepp, toads indeed
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Old 09-08-2011
MaliceInWickedland's Avatar
Elite User
 

My first date was sort of awkward too, but more funny than anything (to me at least). He took me to see the remake of The House on Sorority Row and apparently thought I would be one of those girls who was absolutely terrified of slasher films and would be all clinging to him and stuff throughout the movie. Ooohh boy was he wrong

I thoroughly enjoyed the glorious montage of slaughter and even cheered on the killer at some points. My date was like at my reactions and I think I scared him more than the movie itself

After that, we sat and talked and he kept ranting about how he never met a girl who loved horror movies as much as I do. The conversation sort of died down after that and it was getting late so he took me home. When we arrived, I actually tried to initiate a kiss with him but I guess he didn't want to and he kissed me on the cheek instead and seemed to rush to his car to leave. I was convinced that I thoroughly freaked him out when he never called me for that second date

As for my first kiss.. well, it was alright.

...

Okay no, it totally sucked.
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Old 09-08-2011
WeirdyMcGee's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaliceInWickedland View Post
He ran away...? Are you serious??? Haha wow, way to make a first impression. Talk about being chicken s***.

I agree though. It seems unlikely at times but there are good guys out there. Unfortunately, finding someone like that is like trying to find the needle in a haystack. *Sigh* Yepp, toads indeed
Well- I seem to scare away any potential 'blind dates' my family members set me up on.
My aunt also set me up without telling me until he was at the door and as usual-- I went along with it, was myself, was polite and sweet and he disappeared after half an hour.
And a third time, my grandma's nurse set me up to go to dinner with her son. (wtf?! I keep telling people I don't want to date!)
And, soas not to be rude, I did my best to be myself (whoever that is) and he actually ditched me after dinner - disappeared; and I didn't have a ride back to my grandma's house which was half an hour away down the highway.
I ended up running into one of my highschool friends and he gave me a ride back and laughed at me the whole way-- for scaring away my date.
I asked him what I could've possibly been doing and he just shrugged.

So, I begin to wonder what the hell am I doing to scare them away?
Maybe that's another reason I'm not looking forward to dating if I ever feel like I'm ready to try again.
Dating seems like a pain in the ***.
I've only ever had one boyfriend and that was all so automatic that I don't know how to deal with the... uhh... 'casual dating?' part of finding a potential boyfriend.
I don't even care.
haha

Anyway-- yeah. Dating is awkward.
Rarely do you ever really connect with a person that things happen automatically; most of the time, you need to get to know them before you can figure them out.
All you can do is give it a shot, I guess.
Be strong!
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Old 09-08-2011
HeadFace's Avatar
Expert User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaliceInWickedland View Post
My first date was sort of awkward too, but more funny than anything (to me at least). He took me to see the remake of The House on Sorority Row and apparently thought I would be one of those girls who was absolutely terrified of slasher films and would be all clinging to him and stuff throughout the movie. Ooohh boy was he wrong

I thoroughly enjoyed the glorious montage of slaughter and even cheered on the killer at some points. My date was like at my reactions and I think I scared him more than the movie itself

After that, we sat and talked and he kept ranting about how he never met a girl who loved horror movies as much as I do. The conversation sort of died down after that and it was getting late so he took me home. When we arrived, I actually tried to initiate a kiss with him but I guess he didn't want to and he kissed me on the cheek instead and seemed to rush to his car to leave. I was convinced that I thoroughly freaked him out when he never called me for that second date

As for my first kiss.. well, it was alright.

...

Okay no, it totally sucked.
Haha, am I the only one who actually got a subtle first kiss?
Then again, she texted me the next day, telling me she wasnt interested.
HeadFace is offline  
Old 09-08-2011
 

I never understood this dating thing , it always happened naturally for me , i spotted a girl i like and just went for it , if the girl showed some signs then i went all out . In my case i can't just go hunt for a girl , that's just not my thing.
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Old 09-08-2011
IGotSeoul's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iseesky View Post
So I wrote a massively large post about my first date, but decided nobody would read it all and deleted it...Here's the short version...

TL;DR When I was 18 I went out on a date with a 22 year old that I had a crush on in high school (though I had never talked to him in high school). It was incredibly awkward and he tried to kiss me (he succeeded before I pushed him away...my first 'kiss') and hold my hand and it made me uncomfortable and he was the opposite of chivalrous (didn't hold the door open for me...made me hold the umbrella despite him being 6 foot and me being 5'2...ignored my movie choice and chose to watch a different one instead). He was very touchy, but less of a horndog trying to get in my pants and more bad with women, I think. Either way, he was a very confident guy who liked talking about himself.

So, with that said...I feel kind of weird about boys (boys as in...men lol). I love boys, but whenever I think of kissing a boy, I think of my first 'kiss' and how awkward it was and how it wasn't pleasant at all. And then I wonder what's going to happen if I go on another date. I've had more guys that have been interested in me (ones that I actually converse with, rather than just listen to them talk about themselves), but I haven't done much about them because I don't want the awkwardness of holding hands or kissing or anything like that. I'm fearful of going on another date. But, even more than that...I just feel weird whenever I picture myself kissing a guy. Kissing seems so weird and gross to me now. :|

I don't even know where I was going with this whole thing. I guess I just want someone to say that they've had an awkward dating experience and that not all of them are like that! Anyone?
I suggest building new experiences upon that subject in a hope of making your previous (and regrettably first) completely insignificant in comparison.

Like others have said, not all guys are like this and you surely know that. You'll have to relive the that type of scenario, at your own pace; re-evaluate it in new, preferably more positive light and your worries may drift away as a direct result.
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Old 09-08-2011
coyote's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by WeirdyMcGee View Post
...He showed up and sat beside me on the couch for the length of a 5 minute conversation.
We were watching a movie and I made a joke. He laughed.
He made a joke.
Everyone laughed - then suddenly he got up and said he needed to get something from his coat; went down the stairs... and ran away.
haha
He literally ran away...
is he on this forum?
coyote is offline  
Old 09-08-2011
MaliceInWickedland's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeadFace View Post
Haha, am I the only one who actually got a subtle first kiss?
Then again, she texted me the next day, telling me she wasnt interested.
I guess so
Wow that's bleak. She could have at least told you that in person. I mean, why kiss you in the first place and get your hopes up if she's not interested? *Sigh* People these days...
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Old 09-08-2011
WeirdyMcGee's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by coyote View Post
is he on this forum?
haha~ I guess I wouldn't know.
All I knew about him was that he was a bassist in a band and in the army reserve, schooling to become a police officer.

It would make sense if he had anxiety issues but it was still rude of him to run away. He was the one who asked to be there, it was all a complete surprise to me but I didn't run away or lock myself in a bathroom or anything.
Silly boy.
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Old 09-08-2011
MaliceInWickedland's Avatar
Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by WeirdyMcGee View Post
Well- I seem to scare away any potential 'blind dates' my family members set me up on.
My aunt also set me up without telling me until he was at the door and as usual-- I went along with it, was myself, was polite and sweet and he disappeared after half an hour.
And a third time, my grandma's nurse set me up to go to dinner with her son. (wtf?! I keep telling people I don't want to date!)
And, soas not to be rude, I did my best to be myself (whoever that is) and he actually ditched me after dinner - disappeared; and I didn't have a ride back to my grandma's house which was half an hour away down the highway.
I ended up running into one of my highschool friends and he gave me a ride back and laughed at me the whole way-- for scaring away my date.
I asked him what I could've possibly been doing and he just shrugged.

So, I begin to wonder what the hell am I doing to scare them away?
Maybe that's another reason I'm not looking forward to dating if I ever feel like I'm ready to try again.
Dating seems like a pain in the ***.
I've only ever had one boyfriend and that was all so automatic that I don't know how to deal with the... uhh... 'casual dating?' part of finding a potential boyfriend.
I don't even care.
haha

Anyway-- yeah. Dating is awkward.
Rarely do you ever really connect with a person that things happen automatically; most of the time, you need to get to know them before you can figure them out.
All you can do is give it a shot, I guess.
Be strong!
Haha reminds me of the movie Blind Date. Ahhh that's a great movie
Anyway, that really sucks. I highly doubt you did anything wrong. I mean, you were really polite and everything and you seem like a nice enough person. People are just weird. Maybe you were just too good for them and they knew it so they ran off
That's honestly the only thing I can come up with.
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Old 09-08-2011
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Elite User
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by TryAgain View Post
I was wondering the same
Me too, but maybe he just had to pee. Some people can only do it at home.

Seriously, you don't have to worry about it, there are stupid people everywhere.
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