My social worker hates me?

Hi all amazing people here I hope it's going well for you.

For me, I'm left with this feelings and thoughts after the meeting with my social worker today.

I started going there in april, and since june I started going there weekly for support. This is the only social contact I have during a week now.

I told her pretty much everything about my life. How I feel worthless, and everyone hates me. That I have social phobia. Today I talked about my childhood, parents and growing up.

She has been supernice to me, caring and supporting, but I feel that it's come to an end. Two weeks ago I felt very depressed and didnt know what to say to her. It would have helped if she asked more but instead she told me that I could go home, if I didnt want to be there. Well... I don't know how other peole see me, but I NEED SOCIAL contact. The worst thing they could do is send me home.

In august when she is on vacation, I will start going to a psychologist.
She told me that when I started going there I didnt have to come to her anymore. From earlier meetings I got the understanding that she was going to help me, but now it feels like she just want me leave me as soon as I have someone else to talk to. I guess she doesnt like me...

Well I feel a little sad now. I have a new appoinment with here thursday next week. It will be our last before she takes vacation.

The thing is I like her very much and have gotten feelings for her. I don't wanna stop going to her. I feel I need her support and help.

xnn said:

The thing is I like her very much and have gotten feelings for her.

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Um, this is a problem. It's great to like your psychologists/social worker/whatever, but to have feelings for them is an issue. These people are paid to help you to a certain point, not form some sort of bond in friendship. She probably likes you well enough as a fellow human being but has assessed that you are ready for a push.

It feels so stupid and pointless. I have told her so much about myself, how I feel, think, my family, my workplace (I'm on sick leave and I'm not going back there after the way I feel threated). I have not opened up to anyone else, like I did to here.
She also knows I tried to end my life last year (before I got on sick leave).
What was the point of me telling her all this? I don't fell any better now. It just feels worse. I regret telling her so much now.
She did not send me to psychologist, I took contact myself, and got an appointment.

There is a huge difference between a social worker and a Psychologist.
A social worker is not trained to deal with SA or other mental health conditions.
It's great you are going to see someone who IS trained in this. Keep in mind though, you may need to find a good Psych, as they are only human and some are better than others.

If after a few sessions you don't feel reasonably comfortable, try a new one.

Having said that, you should persist with therapy. Going by what you have posted here, you - like many of us here - seem to have SA to the point where it's affecting your life in a negative way.
Now back to your social worker.
One of the things SA sufferers tend to do is 'mind read'. We will take what others say as though we knew their true intentions. As if we know what they were thinking.
Of course, we do not.
But it's a trap we fall into.
Your SW could possibly have been feeling 'out of her depth', and by saying 'you don't need to come here now' may simply have been trying to make you feel less pressured.

I don't know if that's what she was thinking, only she does.

But you can go and see her again, this time you could ask her if it's OK to keep seeing her as you feel as though she's making a positive difference to your problems.
This will make her feel less 'out of her depth', and like she is helping you.

Good luck

My therapist/social worker was the same way BUT-- even though I was scared to say it, I told her that I *need* to come and see her.
'I need the exposure. I need a reason to leave my house. I need to have some sort of purpose. I don't talk much but I do like talking about every day things with you.'

^ you should try telling her this.

Thank you very much for your replies and support. It feels a little better now.

WeirdyMcGee said:

My therapist/social worker was the same way BUT-- even though I was scared to say it, I told her that I *need* to come and see her.
'I need the exposure. I need a reason to leave my house. I need to have some sort of purpose. I don't talk much but I do like talking about every day things with you.'

^ you should try telling her this.

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I don't like to come off to needy, so I usually just says "ok" or "yes" to everything, then start crying when I get home. This is how it's been my whole life.
But I may try this. Thanks for the advice.
I'm a little curious how you social worker reacted/repsonded to that?