negative thoughs, negative feelings, negative view of life and how to fix it

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genius

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I don't think everyone who has social phobia has negative thoughts or a negative outlook on things...I've met plenty of happy people who just have crappy social skills (like myself). Hmm...

if your social skills are not very good that never mean that you have social phobia

but if social situations scare and prevent you from moving forward then you have social phobia

tell me what you mean by "crappy social skills " and tell me some examples and how you feel, what you think during this situations and i will tell you if you have social phobia
 
Indeed, the thing I have the most trouble out of right now is whether or not the negative thoughts are really true. Or does that even matter? I've read somewhere that if they are true then they should be disregarded since they are unhelpful. However I'm struggling with that tactic at the moment, because if it is true then does it not define who of what you are?

I don't believe in just affirmations. It's good to not beat yourself up, but at the same time, telling yourself how great you are is just deceiving yourself when deep down you don't feel that way.

I think that the affirmations need to be based on something real. Recalling past success at something. Or achieving something worthwhile now, if you can't recall anything... Any achievement, no matter how small, counts.

As for negative thoughts and inner demons, you just have to fight it somehow in your own way. Everyone has their own unique way to do it so that it becomes less of a habit or at least keep it at bay.

The past and present can only at most define the past and present. It can affect the future, but your own actions can shape the future you want too to some degree. Maybe it's not even about success, but the choices we make that determine who we are.
 

chopin83

Active member
I found that this topic was very helpful , thanks a lot.

Changing your cognitions is very difficult in my opinion , it depends how deeply the thoughts have been "rooted" to the mind.

In my opinion the first step is to recognize / identify each deffective pattern of thinking then slowly try to replace false&negative beliefs with more positive ones. It seems to be very difficult in my case because I have depression as well as social Phobia , but nothing is impossible.
 

genius

Well-known member
Changing your cognitions is very difficult in my opinion , it depends how deeply the thoughts have been "rooted" to the mind.

not really it just takes longer time to overwrite this thoughts thats all
 
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How could I stop panic attacks? I'm uncontrollable at that moment no matter what I do. And how long you were doing this therapy that it helped you? I did something like this stuff everyday for ~3 months... Was reading handouts and listening to tapes. But I don't think it helped me, maybe a bit.
 

genius

Well-known member
How could I stop panic attacks? I'm uncontrollable at that moment no matter what I do. And how long you were doing this therapy that it helped you? I did something like this stuff everyday for ~3 months... Was reading handouts and listening to tapes. But I don't think it helped me, maybe a bit.

tell me some examples about your panic attacks and will try to tell you how to stop it
 

Scooter

Well-known member
if your social skills are not very good that never mean that you have social phobia

but if social situations scare and prevent you from moving forward then you have social phobia

tell me what you mean by "crappy social skills " and tell me some examples and how you feel, what you think during this situations and i will tell you if you have social phobia
ummm that's not really the deal with social phobia.
I have SP and I'm not negative, I actually believe I'm very blessed. Not because I have SP but because there's a lot of other things that I don't have. I do have 2 healthy & happy kids, I have my own home, I'm at uni studying something I love, I'm really very very lucky. But yes at the same time I have SA and sometimes it is completely debilitating. Even during those times when I'm struggling to leave my house and be around other people I still know that I have wonderful aspects to my life!
I think you are confusing SA with depression, one of the hard parts of SA is that we know we are being irrational! Irrational is irrational, but it's not always necessarily negative. I know my thoughts are irrational, I know they're not real & I try not to pander to them, but that doesnt make them disappear!
I also strongly believe in the benefits of CBT, you're spot on, our brains can only focus on a certain amount of information at once, if you're telling it to focus on negative things then you will filter out anything other than that.
But you can't throw everyone into one pot and say this will work for all of us! Because it won't. Personally, I find meds & intense aerobic exercise help me the most, but I'm betting other people reading this would say exercise doesnt do much for them.
One size never fits all.
 

Damaged

Well-known member
I totally agree, negativity plays a big part in panic attacks.

I was so fed up with my agoraphobia, i was ready to move on (I haven't completely got over it) and i changed my negative thoughts and actions to positive ones. It's totally helped me in so many ways to go out of the house more =) and to be more relaxed.
People say its not easy to do it its not, but if you really want to get better you'd try it and convince yourself because when one day goes right you get this whole new confidence that makes you think even more positive.
 

Lost Girl

Well-known member
I don't think everyone who has social phobia has negative thoughts or a negative outlook on things...I've met plenty of happy people who just have crappy social skills (like myself). Hmm...

I was going to post pretty much the same thing.

Generally, I have a positive outlook on life, and a positive outlook on my future.
When a social event looms close however, or an event where I have to meet people or make phone calls, or have to attend an interview or something similar, I completely freak-out and anxiety takes over. So uh, I disagree with you, genius, sorry mate.
 

Lost Girl

Well-known member
if your social skills are not very good that never mean that you have social phobia

but if social situations scare and prevent you from moving forward then you have social phobia

tell me what you mean by "crappy social skills " and tell me some examples and how you feel, what you think during this situations and i will tell you if you have social phobia

lol, like you said yourself earlier in the thread, you are not a doctor, so do not feel free to tell her whether she has SA or not, please.
 

Remus

Moderator
Staff member
lol, like you said yourself earlier in the thread, you are not a doctor, so do not feel free to tell her whether she has SA or not, please.

Yep Lost Girl is pretty much right, armchair psychiatry is a rule breach so thread locked, always seek a professional for diagnosis, therapy and prescripition
 
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