nervous around people

hey,

im always nervous around people, im awkward, and dont know how to have a good body language and i feel really insecure, and dont know where to look at. This is a huge struggle for me, i really hope i can feel relaxed around people somehow. does any of you feel the same? and do any of you have tips?

X

I think we all [SA'ers] feel like that. It's horrible. The only tip I can offer is overcome social anxiety . And of course, that means all the tips that are used to beat SA can be used to feel comfortable around people. I've managed to get to this a little while back for a few days and yesterday for a few minutes. God it feels wonderful!

I guess it's called "being relaxed". You notice every little thing more - the sounds, smells, tastes - everything is better! Something to look forward to if you want to overcome SA

Flowergirlie said:

hey,

im always nervous around people, im awkward, and dont know how to have a good body language and i feel really insecure, and dont know where to look at. This is a huge struggle for me, i really hope i can feel relaxed around people somehow. does any of you feel the same? and do any of you have tips?

X

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I think that my body language gives the impression to people that I am insecure. I wish I had some advice for you...for me, I think that I really need to feel better about myself before my SA will get any better.

I think you need to focus on the people and not on yourself, start asking them questions about themselves, and focus on what they say...

There are lots of things you can learn about effective communication and body language, these things can help... (in books, online, some videos or workshops etc.)

I think accepting yourself as a gorgeous and slightly imperfect person (with flaws like everyone) can help too

Have you seen the movie 'Some Like It Hot' with Marilyn Monroe? I really like the last scene, when the guy says, 'Well, no one's perfect!'

Feathers said:

I think you need to focus on the people and not on yourself, ...

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Difficult to do but not impossible.

Unless you can take up acting lessons, I don't see how you can prevent yourself from being nervous around people unless you remove what is causing it. I guess it just comes down to continuing the battle to overcome your SA.

Feathers said:

I think you need to focus on the people and not on yourself...

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Exactly - we get too caught up in our own minds.

The more we can step out of ourselves and just be in the moment, the more relaxed and carefree we are

Feathers said:

I think accepting yourself as a gorgeous and slightly imperfect person (with flaws like everyone) can help too...

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Absolutely - embrace your own goofiness - it can be charming

Awesome thanks guys , great tips

I think being relaxed is the key yes... You're totally right EasySkankin2, it's the best way to feel good around people.. Just focus on being relaxed, take deep breath, and breathe out slowly, like that. And focus on the people around, yes thats awesome!, I will try that out.

I also think it's great to not focus on myself, Because i'm always doing that, to focus on the other people can be hard, but it's better than being self concious about our own appearance, I hope I can do that. I will try it out!

I've never seen that Marilyn monroe movie Feathers, can you give me a link, of that scene (could be on Youtube, right?)

Might sound stupid (because many people don't like miley cirus) But, I love the song ''The climb'' it describes my life

X

Great to hear the tips helped!

Focus on what they are going through, what's happening in their lives, what's interesting to them or what are they excited about...?
And then just talking about that can help.. You might see they might have even bigger problems than you, or are doing something interesting, and it can take your mind off other things..

Flowergirlie said:

I've never seen that Marilyn monroe movie Feathers, can you give me a link, of that scene (could be on Youtube, right?)
X

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Oh, but you must see the whole movie, it's sooo funny!!

It doesn't really make sense just to see the last scene..
See if your library has it or if you can rent it? Not sure if it's available online anywhere?

I get really nervous around people I don't know. I think what really helps me personally is when I know one or two people around me because they usually help me warm up to the people I don't know as well.