Good evening.
Let me start from the beginning here, I'm a 29 year old male from the UK in full time employment and although never diagnosed with any anxiety or learning difficulty the subject of autism and Asperger's syndrome has come up many times throughout my life. (I score 39 on an AQ test)
'Social awkwardness' is most definitely prevalent in my day to day life, unless I can focus on a single shared interest then I cannot interact with another human being. Now from what I understand about the condition the "sufferer" is usually oblivious to the fact that he/she is having any problems so technically, we can rule it out, but the symptoms still exist.
What brought me to this forum is something that I've noticed get gradually worse over the past year or two for me.
Everyone cringes from time to time, but mine have become very physical and vocal. For instance, I could be doing something in the kitchen, and it triggers a memory, (or even a situation that I've imagined, please be aware that I'm also aware that I've imagined it) I will cringe, but so much that I might blurt out something that I'm thinking, or just lately like a grunt or more of a "meerr" and a head tilt.
I had a relatively happy childhood, I was however a Naughty child, something that I put down to a dislike of social situations, i would try to get the attention of other children just like we all do, the difference was that I would always get the wrong type of attention.
I am erring to believe that this "condition" if it is indeed one, is related to recent stresses put on to my life, I lost my father in April 2014 and as a result that put my life on hold a little.
Due to the other autistic tendencies I have (fear of change in environment) and the fact that nobody can support themselves on their own in this day and age I still lived with my parents, Id just made the move to get myself sorted and into my own place with my girlfriend of 5 years (how that happened I'll never know, maybe the gift of Facebook "add friend" and the fact I could be myself over a keyboard, knowing that I could just erase it and rewrite it if I needed/wanted to). When we lost my father there was a £500 defecit per month missing from the mortgage payments, along with funeral costs as the sod didn't have any life cover, having lost my grandmother 2 years earlier I had a little inheritance that went into both funds which has put me back to square one.
Now that you know a little more background on the situation i bring you to today's Cringe that was so vocal it made me jump and have the compulsive urge to google the symptoms, where i came across you lovely bunch.
Although still in a relationship with my partner (now Fiancee) i have done what every man does... (and don't say they don't, maybe others are better at controlling their urges) I have indeed been speaking to another like-minded lady for around 6 months, a lady that I've known for a few years, one that I share more than one interest in, we both work in the same industry and therefore have a lot in common. She's aware of Mrs Rincewind and Please don't think at this moment that anything has happened here, not for the want of trying of course, life gets in the way, we've had breakfast twice in 6 months! But we talk on the phone a lot and if I'm honest i think i can say i know her more than I know Mrs Rincewind. The problem is that she presumed (wrongly) very early on that I have my own place and my life is "sorted" but I'm totally unable to tell her, I try to leave subtle hints that its not the case, she had a similar incident a year or so back when her parents got into some debt and couldnt pay their mortgage she gave them her savings, the difference here was that she'd already set up home at that point. But its to no avail, the cringe i had today was a thought that i'd told her and she'd basically shunned me, my head went to the side and i made a grunt so loud that my mother (in the next room for the reasons detailed above) asked what limb I'd cut off!
I know this will all end in tears for someone, probably me.
I need to get these ticks under control!
sorry for the essay, but you need to know all the facts, and i needed to tell someone!
Let me start from the beginning here, I'm a 29 year old male from the UK in full time employment and although never diagnosed with any anxiety or learning difficulty the subject of autism and Asperger's syndrome has come up many times throughout my life. (I score 39 on an AQ test)
'Social awkwardness' is most definitely prevalent in my day to day life, unless I can focus on a single shared interest then I cannot interact with another human being. Now from what I understand about the condition the "sufferer" is usually oblivious to the fact that he/she is having any problems so technically, we can rule it out, but the symptoms still exist.
What brought me to this forum is something that I've noticed get gradually worse over the past year or two for me.
Everyone cringes from time to time, but mine have become very physical and vocal. For instance, I could be doing something in the kitchen, and it triggers a memory, (or even a situation that I've imagined, please be aware that I'm also aware that I've imagined it) I will cringe, but so much that I might blurt out something that I'm thinking, or just lately like a grunt or more of a "meerr" and a head tilt.
I had a relatively happy childhood, I was however a Naughty child, something that I put down to a dislike of social situations, i would try to get the attention of other children just like we all do, the difference was that I would always get the wrong type of attention.
I am erring to believe that this "condition" if it is indeed one, is related to recent stresses put on to my life, I lost my father in April 2014 and as a result that put my life on hold a little.
Due to the other autistic tendencies I have (fear of change in environment) and the fact that nobody can support themselves on their own in this day and age I still lived with my parents, Id just made the move to get myself sorted and into my own place with my girlfriend of 5 years (how that happened I'll never know, maybe the gift of Facebook "add friend" and the fact I could be myself over a keyboard, knowing that I could just erase it and rewrite it if I needed/wanted to). When we lost my father there was a £500 defecit per month missing from the mortgage payments, along with funeral costs as the sod didn't have any life cover, having lost my grandmother 2 years earlier I had a little inheritance that went into both funds which has put me back to square one.
Now that you know a little more background on the situation i bring you to today's Cringe that was so vocal it made me jump and have the compulsive urge to google the symptoms, where i came across you lovely bunch.
Although still in a relationship with my partner (now Fiancee) i have done what every man does... (and don't say they don't, maybe others are better at controlling their urges) I have indeed been speaking to another like-minded lady for around 6 months, a lady that I've known for a few years, one that I share more than one interest in, we both work in the same industry and therefore have a lot in common. She's aware of Mrs Rincewind and Please don't think at this moment that anything has happened here, not for the want of trying of course, life gets in the way, we've had breakfast twice in 6 months! But we talk on the phone a lot and if I'm honest i think i can say i know her more than I know Mrs Rincewind. The problem is that she presumed (wrongly) very early on that I have my own place and my life is "sorted" but I'm totally unable to tell her, I try to leave subtle hints that its not the case, she had a similar incident a year or so back when her parents got into some debt and couldnt pay their mortgage she gave them her savings, the difference here was that she'd already set up home at that point. But its to no avail, the cringe i had today was a thought that i'd told her and she'd basically shunned me, my head went to the side and i made a grunt so loud that my mother (in the next room for the reasons detailed above) asked what limb I'd cut off!
I know this will all end in tears for someone, probably me.
I need to get these ticks under control!
sorry for the essay, but you need to know all the facts, and i needed to tell someone!
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