New, nervous, not sure...

Hi, never been in any chat room thing before, all a bit new but need to know I'm not on my own. If this posts it will be a miracle... not quite sure how it all works...

hey niknik, glad you did post

welcome to the board, care to give us some more info about yourself?

Hi niknik - your name sounds like something the Monty Python boys would say Welcome to the site and thanks for the miracle - never been witness to one before :wink:

Welcome Nik Nik. Nice to have you with us

HI Niknik and welcome. This is actually a "Forum", not a "chatroom". In a chatroom you can communicate "real-time". That is to say, as soon as you type something it is delivered, and can be responded too. I am glad to have you here, and also encourage you to check out http://www.kertera.com/phpBB2 for a great site with forums and articles for anxiety, depression, stress, romance, spirituality and more. See ya there

Welcome niknik

First time is always the hardest, it's normal to be this way, but after a few posts you'll begin to like it :wink:

You can ask and offer support here. Or just say whatever crosses your mind. Glad 2 have u here.

Hi, niknik, be welcomed, glad to meet you.

allo nik

Chilling__Echo said:

hey niknik, glad you did post

welcome to the board, care to give us some more info about yourself?

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Hi, thought I'd answer here as I'm not v good with computers and seeing as I have SA, there's not much chance of me asking someone for help about what to do! All & any advice from anyone on finding my way around these pages etc would be greatly appreciated!!!

A little about me, if I ramble I will apologise now. I'm 31 & was undiagnosed until about 2 years ago. I had managed to hide my SA all my life until then. It got to the point that all my little OCD habits grew so much that I couldn't hide them either. Before that I was told I was 'depressed' with 'obsessive qualities' (?any offers on a translation to that little gem? lol) & have been on many meds since my early teens. I saw a therapist back then who told me it was all in my head - well duh! - Then I thought I'd lost the plot 2 years ago to the point that I ditched my meds and went through withdrawal on condition, from my GP, that I attend my psych sessions again and go into group therapy. It basically saved me from imploding emotionally. At that point I couldn't leave the house and I couldn't really cope with having people in the same room as me either. -You know they're not looking at you, but you can't help thinking it!- I managed to attend the first session by combining it with my monthly trips to hell, aka the local supermarket. I've been looking forward ever since, even though I've stepped back a few times. make sense? OK. Enough from me, let's see if I get a second miracle and this posts too!

Thanks for taking the time to ask.

sorry you've suffered for so long

the most success i've had in this whole anxiety thing is to see the thinking patterns that go on and know that they're irrational. you know when you're being irrational and just remind yourself that. and really forcing yourself to step outside of your bubble too. but all in baby steps. it's not going to happen overnight.

but all in all remember that you're not crazy and even with the depression and the anxiety, it's not really you and the reason you feel bad is a chemical imbalance.

glad to hear you're having therapy though! this is the group therapy that you're in right?

Chilling__Echo said:

sorry you've suffered for so long

the most success i've had in this whole anxiety thing is to see the thinking patterns that go on and know that they're irrational. you know when you're being irrational and just remind yourself that. and really forcing yourself to step outside of your bubble too. but all in baby steps. it's not going to happen overnight.

but all in all remember that you're not crazy and even with the depression and the anxiety, it's not really you and the reason you feel bad is a chemical imbalance.

glad to hear you're having therapy though! this is the group therapy that you're in right?

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Yup, group behavioural therapy. I've met some wonderful people who understand the real me who I hide from all others. We also all got offered a place on a Mindfulness Meditation course. I was a bit dubious but we all went together and we have top-up sessions every now and again too. I guess I must've been a Buddhist monk in a previous life! (I would recommend the book that guides you through how to practice this; it's by Jon Kabat Zinn.) It was great to be in a non-judgmental environment and even though all our anxiety levels were sky high it was OK because we knew we were all in the same boat! How about you? Any similar experiences?

i wish i had a group therapy session to go to. but i just joined a NAMI group through my school and the county (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) and there's all kinds there. no one with SA yet that i know of but i also suffer from depression so it helps me there.

the only problem is i wish we could meet more often, so far its' only once a month for both and since i'm in school and not from around here i can't go to alot of meetings. but i have one on one counseling and a psychiatrist - all free through my college so i'm comin along.

is it strictly for SAers or anyone with anxiety? that's great that you have a group. when people can really understand you like that, that's golden :wink:

Chilling__Echo said:

i wish i had a group therapy session to go to. but i just joined a NAMI group through my school and the county (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) and there's all kinds there. no one with SA yet that i know of but i also suffer from depression so it helps me there.

the only problem is i wish we could meet more often, so far its' only once a month for both and since i'm in school and not from around here i can't go to alot of meetings. but i have one on one counseling and a psychiatrist - all free through my college so i'm comin along.

is it strictly for SAers or anyone with anxiety? that's great that you have a group. when people can really understand you like that, that's golden :wink:

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Once a month? That must be really hard. I live on an island and as such don't have great access to resources either. Luckily they've stopped throwing us all in the APU ward (Adult Psychiatric Unit) and labelling us as merely depressed & filling us with medication.

It's great that you have the opportunity to have 1:1 sessions, I dropped out of mine a while back and am now on a waiting list to get back in to see my therapist!!! That's the problem with limited resources.

The first group I went to was a mixed CBT group and a few people dropped out as they weren't ready for it yet. When the group was finally settled, the majority were either SAers or had some other form of panic disorder, we fed off each others achievements & realised that the smallest step is still a step. You're right, when people really understand you the loneliness starts to fade.

Could your psychiatrist or counsellor not set up a group session?

ah that sounds great. i love this online community, the only thing it's missing is the "in person" part :lol:

the counseling center here isn't much help at all. they're understaffed and the NAMI group just got started. i'm thinking about taking some leadership roles and trying to meet more than once a month b/c alot of kids in college need help!

but i'm glad you stuck it out, i wish i had a group session to go to. i like getting help as much as encouraging others b/c it's so different when you see someone else suffering like you have before - anything i can offer them i want to be able to do that because it is hard.

hmm is there not another therapist that you could see? i've been through so many, i'm glad i have the one i do now, i like him a lot. he's really helpful. i've had some that are like "so how's your day been? how bout this weather?" and that's it. and i'll even tell them "i want to work on ___" and they're no help. :evil:

oh well :wink:

Chilling__Echo said:

ah that sounds great. i love this online community, the only thing it's missing is the "in person" part :lol:

the counseling center here isn't much help at all. they're understaffed and the NAMI group just got started. i'm thinking about taking some leadership roles and trying to meet more than once a month b/c alot of kids in college need help!

but i'm glad you stuck it out, i wish i had a group session to go to. i like getting help as much as encouraging others b/c it's so different when you see someone else suffering like you have before - anything i can offer them i want to be able to do that because it is hard.

hmm is there not another therapist that you could see? i've been through so many, i'm glad i have the one i do now, i like him a lot. he's really helpful. i've had some that are like "so how's your day been? how bout this weather?" and that's it. and i'll even tell them "i want to work on ___" and they're no help. :evil:

oh well :wink:

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It's great that you can be so positive and still have the strength to seek out solutions for yourself and others. I find that quite hard still as there is very much a 'bury your head in the sand' attitude here. This Island is run like it's still stuck in the 1970's and as such the majority of 'professionals' still hold very dated views on mental illness. (They were still giving electric shock therapy out like sweets less than 10 years ago!) I had one doc tell me it was because I'm female and have hormones! And there was me thinking that men do to! lol!!!

As for seeing another therapist, it's not that easy. Plus you get to trust in some people and not others.

I feel I'm coming across as quite negative but I tend to say it as I see it. I don't worry about things I have no control over but am completely neurotic in other respects! The thing I have found most difficult over the years is not having the strength to talk about who I am. I'm more able to do that now and some days I'm stronger than others. Put it this way, a week ago I wouldn't have had the courage to do anything like this and be so honest with complete strangers. It's a confidence thing I guess. It's good to know that the support and encouragement is out there and if I can be of any help, however small, then I've accomplished something. Does that make me sound nuts? You don't have to answer that one!!! LOL

:lol: well you've really come out of your shell here, kudos to you :wink: you've got alot to say and alot of experience under your belt.

i have my positive and negative days. today happens to be a negative one. i'm just waiting for the semester to be over. 16 days!! it's just so hard when no one around you understands. i don't talk to my friends about it, they can just kind of tell when i'm having a bad day. for instance, i didn't get out of be til 11 today and still managed to get in two naps before now (it's just past five here). but tomorrow's a new day...

yeah, therapy has come a long way. even when i'm feeling my lowest, i just think of all the blessings i have in the medical field alone. just having the awareness is a miracle. but now we also have anti-depressants and everything, therapy, etc. i try and imagine not having any of those things - i'd be a mess :?

but i see what you're saying completely. it breaks my heart to hear someone say that they have a parent or sister or significant other with a disorder of any kind - i immediately want to send encouraging words because i wish there would have been someone there for me when i was first diagnosed.

you don't come across very negative, you actually sould like you're taking the bull by the horns and saying "let's have another go" with the anxiety. keep going