No matter where I go, I don't fit in

AtTheGates said:

I think being weird only works if you're small and/or unintimidating.....which is why girls can pull it off so well....girls can make being weird look funny or cute...guys always just end up looking like potential serial killers...iv decided being weird or different doesnt really work for me..people just get creeped out.

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You probably have to mix in confident and outgoing to effectively be the weird guy everyone likes. Quiet and withdrawn mixed with weird tends to be a recipe for disaster.

Something I don't like is when people keep comenting or asking why you look so worried and serious just because
you're more introvert or just quiet.
And I knew some really creepy people who have lots of friends.
Some just seem to have some type of "vibe" or aura that despite being creepy or even grumpy, can manage to
get respect and wide social circles.
This randomness and how people change after 30 is one of the main reasons I've just quit trying to hang out with my former "best friends" and why I don't feel motivated to meet new people.

AtTheGates said:

I think being weird only works if you're small and/or unintimidating.....which is why girls can pull it off so well....girls can make being weird look funny or cute...guys always just end up looking like potential serial killers...iv decided being weird or different doesnt really work for me..people just get creeped out.

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From personal experience, I am big, heavy-set, average 6' tall, at times intimidating. Yet weirdness I am full of as well. Point is if what you like & who you are others perceive as weird then let them think that.

If being different or weird doesn't work for you then that isn't you. Being you shouldn't be hard work. Shouldn't be work at all.

Request, don't make this out to be girls can do such and such but guys can't do such and such.

Sial Axetder said:

From personal experience, I am big, heavy-set, average 6' tall, at times intimidating. Yet weirdness I am full of as well. Point is if what you like & who you are others perceive as weird then let them think that.

If being different or weird doesn't work for you then that isn't you. Being you shouldn't be hard work. Shouldn't be work at all.

Request, don't make this out to be girls can do such and such but guys can't do such and such.

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actually ...the way you present yourself to people IS hard work..especially if you CARE about how they perceive you and dont want them to get the wrong impression..weird is a very broad term and some people dont know the difference between good weird and bad weird..and i hate when people get the wrong impression of me and try to paint an extremely negative picture of who I am...its happened more than a few times.

AtTheGates said:

actually ...the way you present yourself to people IS hard work..especially if you CARE about how they perceive you and dont want them to get the wrong impression..weird is a very broad term and some people dont know the difference between good weird and bad weird..and i hate when people get the wrong impression of me and try to paint an extremely negative picture of who I am...its happened more than a few times.

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Hmm, I see your point. In the professional, working world, yeah you do have to be careful and work hard at portraying yourself properly. And also agree about the wrong weird and right weird and weird being a broad term.

My views can be slightly shadowed due to negativity toward my weirdness in the past. These days, in off-work, weekend mode I don't care :idontknow: I think in time one automatically and gradually weeds out their wrong weird tendencies? Although I still suffer from foot-in-mouth disease :thinking:

Maybe some good advice would be to do some self reflecting. Uhg, hate that bit. Self reflecting.

I feel the same way, like I don't fit in anywhere I go. People generally just don't seem to want me around...not for long, at least.

Megaten said:

You probably have to mix in confident and outgoing to effectively be the weird guy everyone likes. Quiet and withdrawn mixed with weird tends to be a recipe for disaster.

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I have to agree with this. Keep learning how to build your confidence and eventually you'll feel yourself more "approachable". It's not an easy task, I know, but it's worth a try.

As for the topic, sometimes I feel like this due to my unusual "paranoia" (read: anxiety) and I feel like people will only like me If I pretend to be somebody else I'm not and start behaving accordingly.

However, as I keep "living and learning" with Life, is that there's always a place in this world for "misfit" people (like this very site is for me, heh), which make us feel ourselves at "home sweet home" (at least on-line).

Remember that every human being is unique on its own way with different tastes and personalities, and that's completely normal.
Some people are more comfortable to live on their own while other people want to socialize and meet new friends.
Therefore, even I don't "fit in" in a certain group, I'll either find other group who matches my personality or find no group at all, seeing "socialization" nothing more than a "burden".

I think that "fitting in" boils down to:
- With who we really want to associate with;
- Our self-image;
- And specially our personality.

(I hope I was clear enough with this post, heh.)