I didn't realize I had this until I started doing more research on it. I always thought it was normal that I had almost zero interest going outside. It's gotten worse over the past few years. I'm usually okay going outside if I know where I'm going. This means I only go to a couple of places such as my job, school, or grocery store. I refuse to go anywhere else for fear of getting lost and ending up in a place I don't know where I am, running into people I don't want to meet, anything.
Today I needed to go buy food, because I stock up on food as much as possible so I don't have to go back that often. Since I suck at directions, I decided to walk instead of drive so I didn't end up accidentally turning down a one-way street or doing something else stupid like that. I looked up the directions on google maps, 13 minute walk. No problem. I usually walk 15 minutes to work.
So I left my house and didn't return home for over an hour. I was so incredibly frustrated and lost that I really just wanted to give up and sit on the ground and just do nothing. Lost in a town that I've been living in for 3 years, going to a store I've been to countless times. I literally turned a 13 minute walk into a 60+ minute horrible adventure. I made it to the store okay, leaving was a different story.
My phone helped me absolutely zero times. I voiced the directions "Wilbur street" and instead, countless times I got "getting directions to wild bird street. getting directions to wall-bear street. Getting directions to whole-boar street" before my phone died. What the **** iphone? Also I realize I am technology dependent but I was never allowed outside when I was younger, and never learned basic map directions and such, but I'll get to that later. I ended up walking around in circles, never being able to find my stupid house. I walked through the ghetto which I really regretted but finally an hour later found my street.
This isn't the first time this has happened. I unwillingly went on vacation to New York a few months ago and left my phone in the hotel by mistake. I also spent roughly an hour trying to find my hotel at night, not wanting to ask anyone for directions. I think I blame my grandparents on this, because I lived with them throughout my childhood and they were very strict and they also shielded me from a lot of things they thought I shouldn't be exposed to, like violence or swearing or going outside to other places for fear of me getting kidnapped I guess. I was only allowed to stay at my house, in my back yard. I feel like this condition is crippling me since if I'm not going with someone who is driving, I'm not going.
I also feel more comfortable than I should being inside. It feels safe, as opposed to the countless murders, rapes, diseases, everything awful in the word that I seem to read and hear about daily going on outside. This is a problem because my girlfriend of many years loves being outside and travelling. I'm always trying to convince her what a horrible world we live in where people kill each other like it's nothing and she's always trying to find the bright side in all of it.