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Old 03-15-2011  
Singing Bird
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Falkor's Avatar
 

Default obsessed about being ugly.

Hey,

I know I posted things like this before, but It's a complete struggle.
When I look into the mirror, I see an ugly person with ugly features.
It's getting worse, I don't know what to do anymore because every time I look at myself, I would consider myself being extreme disgusting.
I hate my skin and skin colour, and the purple area below my eyes.
People told me I'm ugly like so many times, online people tell me I look pretty good, well it's because my camera has a bright light effect, that's all.
I'm ugly in real life, for me it's a fact, for others, family and friends tell me I look good, also people told me I'm really ugly.. I started to believe them.
Now I have this day routine, of checking multiple times (like too many times) a day to check if my reflexion is alright, I check every side of my body and face, left face I look alright, right side of the face , it's just awful.
I look at myself with super zoom in Glasses, not literally, just what they tell me, and I see too much, but I know this is visible, because I see it myself? :(
It's destroying my life, I feel like not going to an appointment tomorrow because I'm overly obsessed about this, I see myself walking there and people looking down on me ''because of my looks''. because this has been reality in my life, so far, when I got bullied a looong time.
It's controlling my life, and I need to get over it, but since I'm 12 years old, I found myself uglier than the rest i never wanted to be on photographs, now I do make photographs, but still need to be convinced if I look alright, and most of them I just delete and never want to look at again, I didn't care much back then, but since people went rude and saying those things right in my face, I cannot stop thinking about it, and it is a real ilness. :(

when you stay away from certain things, your brain confirms that its something to fear, so face your fears, so your subconcious mind gets used to it

Last edited by Falkor; 03-15-2011 at 07:19 PM..
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Old 03-15-2011  
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Default Re: obsessed about being ugly.

Awww Sassy i feel ya. If u would feel me and be in my skin. I can relate so much. Today i wake up and if saw my face i get so upset and cranky mad on myself what i feel if i looked me. Is destroying my live to completely i too think anyone who see me consider i'm ugly and if someone turn away and don't face or look at me, i think they avoid contact because they aren't able look at me any longer. I'm extremely obsessed about it and i can't looked me. If i see myself in mirror i don't like my features either. I don't like my shape of face i think people see an alien which is uncomfortable face it. Also few people told about me i'm ugly and till now i suffer with:( Hang on Sassy i hear ya and i think u are pretty!!! Isn't just pic it's u! U do u are prettty!!!
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Old 03-15-2011  
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Default Re: obsessed about being ugly.

I know exactly what you mean. Every time I look in the mirror, I also just see an ugly person. And I've been called "ugly" quite a bit too. I hate how I look so much, I almost always avoid looking at my reflection and I absolutely hate getting my picture taken. I can't even take pictures of myself.

Quote:
Originally Posted by coyote View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by superfluouslyme View Post
Some people just have sticks up their asses.
and some have eels
"Don't be pushed by your problems, be lead by your dreams." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~ Carl Bard

Randominities
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Old 03-15-2011  
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Default Re: obsessed about being ugly.

Same. I tend to check my reflection hundreds of times a day (in car windows, shop windows, etc..) anything i can just to make sure it's not too bad.
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Old 03-15-2011  
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Default Re: obsessed about being ugly.

I can totally relate to that. The only people who ever say that I look pretty are my parents, so I have a hard time taking them seriously. Even my so called friends have called me ugly at some point. I tend to avoid mirrors so I don't have to see myself. I've kind of given up on my appearance.

I could build a nest in the frost and fire
While the sun is flaming on the ice
And slowly start unravelling this broken soul
Itís time this time, and I can feel a new light

But still I got miles to go before I sleep
Still got miles to go before all is revealed
I still got miles to go before I sleep
Still listening to the chainless wind sing
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Old 03-15-2011  
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Default Re: obsessed about being ugly.

I hear ya.

I'm a twenty year old girl and every time I look in the mirror I see Mama Fratelli from the Goonies (go ahead and google it). I've pretty much given up on my appearance and I try not to let it bug me so much.

There's lots of people that look really different and I'm not going to start calling other people ugly because they don't appeal to my tastes, so why should I do that to myself!?

I've found that dealing with myself in good humor and accepting the way I look, the good and the bad, is the best way. The people I want to hang around with won't care about my looks, they'll accept my weirdness in all respects.

I'm... well, New to This...
And very, very awkward.
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Old 03-15-2011  
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Default Re: obsessed about being ugly.

I can relate to being obsessed with how ugly I think/know I am.

I often wonder how people can stand looking at me. Or how they can stand being around me. What do they think when they look at me? Are they horrified? disgusted?

I absolutely cannot look at myself in the mirror while I am in public. It makes me lose all my confidence. I see all the flaws, I realize they are still there. I feel like shuddering. I feel gross. I hardly ever look in the mirror because I can't stand seeing the person who is looking back at me.

Whenever I am in public and I go to the bathroom and I am washing my hands, I always look down... never ever look into the mirror.
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Old 03-15-2011  
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Default Re: obsessed about being ugly.

same as above and can totally relate.
at work I hate people looking me in the face and talking to me I feel like they shouldnt have to look at me lol
I had problems with acne aswell which left scars on my face which has just made my problem of hating way I look even worse...just disgusts me when look in mirror.
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Old 03-16-2011  
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Default Re: obsessed about being ugly.

Firstly, I can relate. I usually don't go out because there is something about my skin tone, I actually feel like I look like I haven't come out of my house for a long time (yellow complexion? Although that's also my natural complexion ish... olive.. woo......)/coloured bags under my eyes it seems.... Also that I look like a bum and thus can't feel comfortable pulling off own beliefs, that I'm fat, and that (thanks to angular chelitis one year ago) the sides of my mouth are starting to drag downwards and stretch outwards and it's completely sabotaging the balance of my face and giving me those frown lines! UGggggh!! That is my biggest obsession. On the bad days I run to the mirror every hour and just stare/wish they aren't there/ "I could look alright if they weren't there, now I never will." Anyways...

The only things I can think of... Do things every day that earn your own respect. Face a fear every day, consistently, and perhaps one day you'll look in the mirror and respect your image as well.

Find one thing that you like about your body, anything, if it's your toes or the way your smile opens your face, even if it's just one finger or an eyebrow, and try to almost hyper-focus on that just as much as you focus on the negative body image.

Take good care of your internal health, the discolor (that might not be there, who knows!) may lighten, and even if it doesn't, if you're clean and pretty inside usually you feel like the outside is less important or that it doesn't represent anything..You may not hold any personal fault to yourself, if you take good care of your internal health/cleanliness/er/etc. (This one works for me well).

Hmm what else. Do things that make you feel confident every day. For example? Exercise, and always try to be a little better at it every week/day, kind of the same thing as earning your own respect. Eventually you will feel... powerful, maybe more worthy? Make sure you get dressed and look as good as you can each morning, vs. staying in PJs, especially if you're not doing anything that day, seeing as there will be time for your mind to dwell more.

Take a picture where you look your ABSOLUTE WORST and post it on here. If you think your camera makes things brighter and thus less visible, darken the room or turn of flash or find a better camera? This may take some guts, but the idea here is that if you expose what you see as the "truth", your ugliness, and people still see your beauty, the contrast between what you see and what others see will be more visible...

Oh yeah, and try to involve yourself in something that holds more impact than how you look, volunteering for a cause, focusing on worldly issues, etc.

Goodluck. (I do think you're GORGEOUS by the way. It's hard to mistake that in your videos:P, many different angles=truly see you! And you're preeeetty pretty pretty)

Last edited by EscapeArtist; 03-16-2011 at 02:20 AM..
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Old 03-16-2011  
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Default Re: obsessed about being ugly.

everyone is their own worst critique. your sensitivity makes you beautiful, anyway.
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