conscious_mindz
Well-known member
Hello there, I have not been diagnosed with OCD but it is something i have been suffering with for a few years, but recently in the last year it is beginning to take its toll on me. Basically i have OCD for perfection & symmetry, Also whenever i buy something "brand new" from a store such as a new mobile phone, Television, or a new kettle, new furniture, new clothes etc.. I have to check it thoroughly for any marks, scratches, blemishes etc.. I feel if i buy something brand new then it has to be absolutely spotless.
I purchased a new mobile phone last month & before i could even use it i had to check everything, i check the back of the phone for scratches & marks / dents / blemishes & i can spend up to 30mins just over analyzing the back of the phone, THEN i move to the side of the phone checking EVERY angle & every curve making sure there are no marks or blemishes, then putting the screen protector on the phone..it has to be 100% perfect, no dust marks under the screen, no fingerprints, no blemishes, It took me a total of 4 hours of checking my new phone for blemishes before i could even switch the phone on & begin to use it. If i didn't do all of those checks i would not be able to enjoy using the phone, i would constantly be thinking "what if there is a huge scratch that i didn't notice or what if there is a blemish that i didn't check etc..
If i buy a new pair of jeans or a T shirt or pair of Trainers i check EVERYWHERE for marks or tears & rips, I run my eyes along all of the stitches to make sure all of the stitching is straight & not overlapping or threads coming loose, If i don't do these checks il be thinking "what if the jean threading is coming loose & the jeans will begin to come apart at the loose stitching.
Basically anything i purchase must be checked thoroughly before i can actually begin to use it, I HATE it & it is causing me so much anxiety but i cannot shake the feeling, It can sometimes take me many hours looking for blemishes or "faults" with the brand new items, sometimes i look for so long & if i cannot see any problems its like my mind creates them...its like i am seeing things that are not even there, because i check it soooo much & i keep going over & over & over it eventually i think ive seen something when its not even there.
I also have a BIG problem about symmetry & everything has to be "just right" Everytime i make a cup of tea i boil the kettle & pour the water, then i check the kettle to make sure its not touching anything, i check the sugar bowl to make sure there are even gaps inbetween the coffee jar etc.. It sounds like MADNESS when im writing this down & i don't know why i check it but i feel compelled to do these checks before i can relax.
If i do no make these checks then my mind starts racing & i feel uncomfortable & cannot relax, I don't get the feeling of " if you don't check this something bad will happen" I don't experience that i just feel uneasy as if i need to check something before my mind can relax.
My home is clean but im not a clean freak, The only reason im not a clean freak is because cleaning causes me more anxiety, as i have to move things & dust them etc.. & then i have to go into checking mode making sure i put everything back "just right" just as i found them.
I suffer with social anxiety & depression, I live alone & my home has now become like a prison surrounded by OCD triggers. Sometimes at night i prefer to sit in the dark because if i have lights on my eyes start to get drawn to items around my home & i begin to check them to make sure they are in symmetry & feels "just right" Living alone has its pros & cons..the pros are that nobody can touch my belongings but at the same time when i am suffering my OCD symptoms there is nobody there to say "hey its ok" & talk me out of it, its just me on my own & i feel like a victim of my own mind :-(
Has anyone else experienced the same things as me regarding checking items & everything has to be just perfect? I don't know where all this OCD stemmed from but i am finding it very uncomfortable to live with
I purchased a new mobile phone last month & before i could even use it i had to check everything, i check the back of the phone for scratches & marks / dents / blemishes & i can spend up to 30mins just over analyzing the back of the phone, THEN i move to the side of the phone checking EVERY angle & every curve making sure there are no marks or blemishes, then putting the screen protector on the phone..it has to be 100% perfect, no dust marks under the screen, no fingerprints, no blemishes, It took me a total of 4 hours of checking my new phone for blemishes before i could even switch the phone on & begin to use it. If i didn't do all of those checks i would not be able to enjoy using the phone, i would constantly be thinking "what if there is a huge scratch that i didn't notice or what if there is a blemish that i didn't check etc..
If i buy a new pair of jeans or a T shirt or pair of Trainers i check EVERYWHERE for marks or tears & rips, I run my eyes along all of the stitches to make sure all of the stitching is straight & not overlapping or threads coming loose, If i don't do these checks il be thinking "what if the jean threading is coming loose & the jeans will begin to come apart at the loose stitching.
Basically anything i purchase must be checked thoroughly before i can actually begin to use it, I HATE it & it is causing me so much anxiety but i cannot shake the feeling, It can sometimes take me many hours looking for blemishes or "faults" with the brand new items, sometimes i look for so long & if i cannot see any problems its like my mind creates them...its like i am seeing things that are not even there, because i check it soooo much & i keep going over & over & over it eventually i think ive seen something when its not even there.
I also have a BIG problem about symmetry & everything has to be "just right" Everytime i make a cup of tea i boil the kettle & pour the water, then i check the kettle to make sure its not touching anything, i check the sugar bowl to make sure there are even gaps inbetween the coffee jar etc.. It sounds like MADNESS when im writing this down & i don't know why i check it but i feel compelled to do these checks before i can relax.
If i do no make these checks then my mind starts racing & i feel uncomfortable & cannot relax, I don't get the feeling of " if you don't check this something bad will happen" I don't experience that i just feel uneasy as if i need to check something before my mind can relax.
My home is clean but im not a clean freak, The only reason im not a clean freak is because cleaning causes me more anxiety, as i have to move things & dust them etc.. & then i have to go into checking mode making sure i put everything back "just right" just as i found them.
I suffer with social anxiety & depression, I live alone & my home has now become like a prison surrounded by OCD triggers. Sometimes at night i prefer to sit in the dark because if i have lights on my eyes start to get drawn to items around my home & i begin to check them to make sure they are in symmetry & feels "just right" Living alone has its pros & cons..the pros are that nobody can touch my belongings but at the same time when i am suffering my OCD symptoms there is nobody there to say "hey its ok" & talk me out of it, its just me on my own & i feel like a victim of my own mind :-(
Has anyone else experienced the same things as me regarding checking items & everything has to be just perfect? I don't know where all this OCD stemmed from but i am finding it very uncomfortable to live with