Och aye the noo

Would be wrong to just end it? Not my life, my relationship with my family. I mean all they've done is mock me, lied to me, and gave me shitty advice for much of life. That what I get for being the youngest, I guess. Don't know if they're being genuine when they say they didn't mean anything by their snide remarks.

And am I so in wrong as to being a loner and an outsider and actually enjoying that rather than being around people. Being disabled since birth makes me both of those by default. So why not just accept everything that comes with it? Why try to fit in when people only accept and like you nowadays based on status or if yer watching the movies or telly programmes or what music ye listen. And I actually enjoy my solitude, I know that makes a freak & a weird and ever other name under the sun.

Don't get too attached to people emotional, especially family. Because in the end they just betray you. At least that's been my experience throughout my life so far. :sad:

My niece doesnae like me, not that I care much. My family huv been nothing but a burden to me, anyway.

Ah don't whether I should just go MGTOW, y'know? Not that I hate wimmin, generally speaking, just ones in my family whom I'm forced to interact with. :thumbdown:

They kinda made me think twice before approaching a women, mainly outta fear because folk tend to take yin look at me and assume the worst. Not that I have any yearning for companionship of any kind at this point in my life. I'm quite happy to live alone and die, if means not having to endure verbally violent arguments with the opposite sex. And constantly being nagged at all the time.

It's like no matter what I do, I'll never good for anyone, even myself. :sad:

Ah don't know, there just comes a time in yer life when ye realise naebuddy really give a shite about you or yer daily struggles. And put everyone else ahead of yerself in terms iof happiness doesnae work oot in the end...

Sorry, I'm just ramblin' on like a dafty here. Just being woken up on Christmas Day to the sound of an argument has made me realise ah need start cutting ties with the family. As hard as that's going to be.

Graeme1988 said:

Ah don't whether I should just go MGTOW, y'know? Not that I hate wimmin, generally speaking, just ones in my family whom I'm forced to interact with

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"Even just a little effort on the part of the MGTOW community to reach out to new members, would pay great dividends. Just a comment here and there using the MGTOW acronym.....peaks guys curiosity enough for them to google it"
Well i dont think you meant to ... but i DID google it & found MGTOW | Men Going Their Own Way which lokks MIGHTY INTERESTING i have to say!!! :bigsmile: (but i've already been living my whole life like that, so i dunno what use if any that site would be able to offer me, hehe)

Graeme1988 said:

Sorry, I'm just ramblin' on like a dafty here. Just being woken up on Christmas Day to the sound of an argument has made me realise ah need start cutting ties with the family. As hard as that's going to be

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Now THAT is a rude awakening if ever there was one... :thumbdown:

I can empathise about having had your sense of self-worth completely trashed by family/society/etc. It takes a long time, if ever, to truly "bounce back" from all that past damage :sad:

theslowesthand said:

"Even just a little effort on the part of the MGTOW community to reach out to new members, would pay great dividends. Just a comment here and there using the MGTOW acronym.....peaks guys curiosity enough for them to google it"
Well i dont think you meant to ... but i DID google it & found MGTOW | Men Going Their Own Way which lokks MIGHTY INTERESTING i have to say!!! :bigsmile: (but i've already been living my whole life like that, so i dunno what use if any that site would be able to offer me, hehe)

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Same with me, really. :bigsmile: But then again, that community probably resonates with me, due growing up in pretty hostile, feminist household. No dad, so no real role model to aspire to be like.

And ah kinda feel like I've raised myself in many ways.

Though, ma mum did give an indictation of what ah might expect if ah did enter a relationship, cuz she still quite bitter about how the men in her life treated her. By which I mean, my dad and the fathers of my step-sisters.

As well as the volatile that ma older sister and brother-in-law have. Ma sister can be quite temperamental if things do go her way, like.

theslowesthand said:

Now THAT is a rude awakening if ever there was one... :thumbdown:

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You're tell me, pal... A hellva an alarm clock, too... :bigsmile:

theslowesthand said:

I can empathise about having had your sense of self-worth completely trashed by family/society/etc. It takes a long time, if ever, to truly "bounce back" from all that past damage

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Oh aye... I'm still trying to get over being telt ah'd amount to nothing by school teacher. And the snarky remarks by ma family, which hurt more than the racism I endure from my school peers.

YouTube

Just a few days til ma surgery, and ma sister decided to tell me that's she's done "a wee bit of research" on this orthopedic procedure, which is great.

Cuz ah really wanted what they'll be doing explained in graphic detail. Cheers, that's really pit me aw ma worries, and the sleepless night those past few weeks going over ma concerns in ma heid, at ease. NOT!! :thumbdown:

Graeme1988 said:

Just a few days til ma surgery, and ma sister decided to tell me that's she's done "a wee bit of research" on this orthopedic procedure, which is great.

Cuz ah really wanted what they'll be doing explained in graphic detail. Cheers, that's really pit me aw ma worries, and the sleepless night those past few weeks going over ma concerns in ma heid, at ease. NOT!! :thumbdown:

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It's sad to read your sister is not supporting you in a positive way that helps you feel ok about your operation, Graeme. Put your faith in the surgeon Graeme, ignore whatever your sister said. Try and stay in a positive frame of mind. The mind and your bodies recovery systems are intertwined, try and stay as optimistic about your operation as possible. Good luck, Graeme :thumbup:

BlueDays said:

It's sad to read your sister is not supporting you in a positive way that helps you feel ok about your operation, Graeme. Put your faith in the surgeon Graeme, ignore whatever your sister said. Try and stay in a positive frame of mind. The mind and your bodies recovery systems are intertwined, try and stay as optimistic about your operation as possible. Good luck, Graeme :thumbup:

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Ah know... But that's just how it is. Ah don't get much in the way of positive support anyway. Ah mean, it hardly a conversation starter, is it?

"Hi, see that surgery yer getting done in a few days? Here's whit they'll daein tae ye while you're conked oot oan tha operating table..."

Ma sister seem to think cuz am stronger physically that means I've nothing to worry about. Y'know, despite the operation had done 14 years ago not exactly going to plan. Ah don't think she or ma mum realise just how much the past experience still haunts me. Nor just how sleepless ma nights huv been lately, just wondering how it'll go this time? And it difficult to keep in positive optimistic mindset about this operation when yer mum's being paranoid and scared at the thought of being in the house by herself. :kickingmyself:

Ah managed fine when she was away visiting my older sister in Ireland, do see how this short stay for me in hospital is any different? Am just 2 towns away, anyway. Not like last time when they hud trek all the way to Edinburgh from the Scottish Borders.

Why do the wimmin in my life always have to make it about themselves, eh? Baffles me, so it does. Everytime ah make a decision that affects me, ah huv to consult with ma family. Not making that up, either. Cuz they dinnae like the fact I'm more introverted than the rest of the family, ye see.

And they're nosy as well, otherwise they'd huv nothing to gossip about if they weren't wondering why I spend some much time by myself. It'd just be the usual small talk about the weather, last night's TV, the latest goings on in the Big Brother house or voicing their hypocritical disgust at having watched some twats eating an animal's privates in the Australian jungle.

I think I've went a bit mental with snacks and over ate past week or - as well as drank. It just the idea of huvin to fast for the morning of this operation, and not being allowed to eat anything after a specific time on Tuesday evening. Only allowed to drink water.

No sure ah'll huv the will power for it? Ah'll be bloody starving efter the surgery. And am no looking forward to whit the hospital has to food-wise. Unless they stocked up oan them Tesco ready meals. Failing that, ah'll see if ah cun get some quality scran smuggled in during visiting hours. :bigsmile:

Though, ah huv a feeling ah no get much sleep that night. Knowing I've be up and ready for 5 o'clock the next morning and at the hospital by 7 o'clock as I'm scheduled to get the operation afore mid-day, supposedly.

Am feelin' really stressed aboot this surgery now. :sad: F**k! F**k! F**k! F**k! :kickingmyself:

Ma mum and oldest sister discussing aw the hypothetical scenarios with me at length the day an yesterday. And ah dinnae even huv a much say in the matter, kept ma gob shut in case ah said the wrong thing.

How the hell do ah know ah'll be able to get up the stair if they're giving a plaster cast that'll no be able tae weight-bare onto for a few weeks?! Jesus Christ! Ah huv'nae even hud the operation done yet. :veryangry:

And don't think for a second that am still no slight dreading whit's aboot to occur, yer wrong. Cuz I am scared shitless... Lost sleep just trying to reassure masel that everythin' will be awrite. :sad:

Graeme1988 said:

And they're nosy as well, otherwise they'd huv nothing to gossip about if they weren't wondering why I spend some much time by myself. It'd just be the usual small talk about the weather, last night's TV, the latest goings on in the Big Brother house or voicing their hypocritical disgust at having watched some twats eating an animal's privates in the Australian jungle

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Me thinks they'all need a decent hobby or 3, hehe

Been reading about positive thinkng & the like recently, and it resonats very much with th situation your in. Basically, what ye need to try to do, is this: imagine that surgery will go fine, to plan, no problms, etc. Thats all ye do, just imagine that result, as if has hapened already .. and return to that whenevr worried/etc. Theory is that ye attract what am thinking of the most, whether it be postive or negitive. I can already "see" the operation going as a great success!!! :bigsmile: :thumbup: :applause:

theslowesthand said:

Me thinks they'all need a decent hobby or 3, hehe

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So do I... I'm just as boring with ma reading books, listening music and playin' ma guitar. BOOOORRING!

theslowesthand said:

Been reading about positive thinkng & the like recently, and it resonats very much with th situation your in. Basically, what ye need to try to do, is this: imagine that surgery will go fine, to plan, no problms, etc. Thats all ye do, just imagine that result, as if has hapened already .. and return to that whenevr worried/etc. Theory is that ye attract what am thinking of the most, whether it be postive or negitive. I can already "see" the operation going as a great success!!! :thumbup: :applause:

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Ya dancer! Get buckin' in! Thanks, that's positivity is much appreciated. Since I'm Scottish, so y'know... Positive thinkin' doesnae come easy to the likes of me. Scots being pessimistic, cynical and dour, at times.

But I am trying to be positive about it. But ma mum and sister seem more concerned about the aftermath of the surgery - ie, how I'm going to get about and what not. And they've just been banging on about

Graeme1988 said:

Just a few days til ma surgery, and ma sister decided to tell me that's she's done "a wee bit of research" on this orthopedic procedure, which is great.

Cuz ah really wanted what they'll be doing explained in graphic detail. Cheers, that's really pit me aw ma worries, and the sleepless night those past few weeks going over ma concerns in ma heid, at ease. NOT!! :thumbdown:

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Hope the surgery goes well Graeme.

theslowesthand said:

Been reading about positive thinkng & the like recently, and it resonats very much with th situation your in. Basically, what ye need to try to do, is this: imagine that surgery will go fine, to plan, no problms, etc. Thats all ye do, just imagine that result, as if has hapened already .. and return to that whenevr worried/etc. Theory is that ye attract what am thinking of the most, whether it be postive or negitive. I can already "see" the operation going as a great success!!!

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I agree That's a good idea!
I had surgery some years ago, and I did more or less the same with good-feeling thoughts and visualizing positively.

Kiwong said:

Hope the surgery goes well Graeme.

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Nanita said:

I agree That's a good idea!
I had surgery some years ago, and I did more or less the same with good-feeling thoughts and visualizing positively.

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Thanks for the support, everybody. :thumbup:

Didnae really get a great of sleep last night, cuz ma family more worried hope they cope without me for a few days than being optimistic about this surgery.

Me... Ah cannae feckin' wait! A few days away from huvin to listening to ma mum bitch about how fed-up she is, and aw the emotional blackmail. Blissful!

I'm always happier not being around family who always put me down, anyway.

Good luck with the surgery.

Best wishes to you, Graeme. I hope everything goes well. :thumbup: