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Old 08-21-2008
kuhtreen's Avatar
Intermediate User
 

Even though it is a fact and not an insult, I can't help but feel extremely offended when someone says that I am shy. Probably because I'm kind of ashamed of it and I don't want people to know about it.
It has become like a gigantic insult...even though it is only the truth and I know it. It's okay for me to call myself shy, but when someone else says it, it just drives me insane!!
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Old 08-21-2008
Carrot's Avatar
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I'm sorry you feel that way. I've been called shy my whole life, so I'm used to it now, but I don't really think I ever felt insulted by it.
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Old 08-21-2008
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i don't find it insulting. it means they are understanding and don't just dismiss you as a bitch, which they easily could if you're quiet.
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Old 08-21-2008
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Yeah, I do hate it when someone calls me shy or points out that I am, just because it's been such a negative thing in my life that's caused so many problems and so much pain. I'd rather be anything but shy, so it makes me cringe every time I hear the word.
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Old 08-21-2008
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I am offended very very easily, but for some reason this does not offend me. Well it's not like they really say it in an offensive way, like it is a bad thing or something. I would probably be offended if it was like this. I don't think people really mean it in a bad way though, which is why I try to not be offended by it.
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Old 08-22-2008
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yep I'm offended when people call me shy because I know that I'm not really like that it also shows that people don't know who I really am
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Old 08-22-2008
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it usually bugs me when people point out that I am shy. I think because it makes me the center of attention in a somewhat negative way. I don't really take offense or harbor hard feelings toward whoever calls me shy but it bugs me.
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Old 08-22-2008
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Intermediate User
 

I hate being called shy. It's not so much the word itself that bothers me, but the way it's said. Usually the person who says it is making fun or speaking in a condescending manner. It's never a good thing.

I'll never forget being voted most shy in Junior High School. That was humiliating...and unjust. What I suffer from is beyond shyness.
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Old 08-22-2008
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I usually don't like it when people call me shy. Especially when I feel as though I have been doing a good job acting outgoing and it feels like they just called me on my act.

But I don't know, it's just like I don't go around commenting on how loud and outgoing people are, yet people will constantly comment on how quiet and shy I am.
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Old 08-22-2008
kuhtreen's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomPod
But I don't know, it's just like I don't go around commenting on how loud and outgoing people are, yet people will constantly comment on how quiet and shy I am.
Yes, EXACTLY. Outgoing people just don't understand it, I guess. They look at life in a different way. I don't think they consider how WE feel.
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Old 08-22-2008
 

This doesn't really offend me, surprisingly enough! I feel like I do get offended quite a bit about other things.
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Old 08-22-2008
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It's like going up to a person in a wheel chair and saying "Your legs don't work." Only douche bags point out things like that. I don't get why people say that kind of stuff. It's not like its a compliment.
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Old 08-22-2008
kuhtreen's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chod77
It's like going up to a person in a wheel chair and saying "Your legs don't work." Only douche bags point out things like that. I don't get why people say that kind of stuff. It's not like its a compliment.
Ah, that was very well said! That's part of the reason why it bugs me so much. It's not like I need to be reminded that I'm shy! Haha.
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Old 08-22-2008
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It is offending, since being told that you're shy implies that you have low self-esteem and confidence. And this is not something you should say to someone's face, it is HURTFUL.
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Old 08-22-2008
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How would they feel, if we said "you talk too much be quieter please".. ?

:evil:
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Old 08-22-2008
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by kuhtreen
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chod77
It's like going up to a person in a wheel chair and saying "Your legs don't work." Only douche bags point out things like that. I don't get why people say that kind of stuff. It's not like its a compliment.
Ah, that was very well said! That's part of the reason why it bugs me so much. It's not like I need to be reminded that I'm shy! Haha.
Right! And some people tell those things just to boost their ego! (The hell!)

Before, I get easily offended when people call me shy.. but now I'm the one who introduces myself as a shy person (LOL!)... particularly bec. I want them to stop calling me one. It's like telling them that "Hello! I know that I'm shy, so you don't have to tell me!" and after that, they stopped telling me I'm shy. :wink:
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Old 08-22-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhantomPod
But I don't know, it's just like I don't go around commenting on how loud and outgoing people are, yet people will constantly comment on how quiet and shy I am.
Yeah, you nailed it there. It's such an unnecessary comment to make.

I also hate being called shy. It's not a compliment, society values being social, not shy and inhibited and when considerering the social context where the comments are usually stated.. its a negative observation.

this has been my experience anyway.
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Old 08-22-2008
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It doesn't offend me when people say i'm shy. In fact, i hide behind it. For example, my family recently moved house. When it came to meeting the new neighbours, in explaining why i was so reluctant to meet them and unsociable, my mum told them "Oh, sorry about her. Emily's just shy." Being thought of as shy is, in my opinion, better than being thought of than rude or snobbish.

At school, or wherever, if somebody says, like, "You're really quiet" or "You're really shy" i just reply, yeah - i am shy. Also, now most the people i know think of me as "shy", i find that they expect me to be less social and a bit reclusive - and in that way i feel protected. "She's shy" - It feels like a nice, rational explaination for my irrational behavior. So i don't mind being thought of as, or told that i am, shy.
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Old 08-22-2008
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Actually being shy can be attractive. I find that shy people are thoughtfull, intelligent and polite. I wish i was just shy....Social anxiety seems to be different. I mean i never blush, i just sort of freeze and feel scared.
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Old 08-22-2008
hbanana11's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theblank
I'll never forget being voted most shy in Junior High School. That was humiliating...and unjust. What I suffer from is beyond shyness.
yeah what is with that?? I got voted "Most shy" when i went to 6th grade camp....as if its some sort of honorary title :evil:
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