_Brittany_
Well-known member
Yes! I hate it so much.
Offended when people call you shy?
- Thread starter kuhtreen
- Start date
Dave_McFadden
Well-known member
Lea said:
Yeah, it always seems like some people would rather poke and prod at you instead of just talking to you like any other human being. Like you're some kind of an "interactive exhibit."
I think I'm OK at hiding my shyness from most people. Someone who knows me well described me as "aloof". I think I'd rather be thought of that way, than "shy".
Sometimes people will start talking to me like I'm 4 years old. Things like "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, you don't have to be scared of me." Or "Awww, I won't bite". To say the least that's a little frustrating.
I also used to get people who, upon concluding that I'm shy, act like they just figured out something really hard. Like they solved one of the world's great mysteries. And they're all proud of themselves. This happened more often in college than is does now. But people in college were strange too, so maybe that's not so big a deal.
I'm definately going to say that to people now. It'll be fun.Argamemnon said:
Infected_Malignity
Well-known member
people used to refer to me as shy but that shit stopped somehow. generally, nobody knows that i have anxiety. when i tell them they either don't believe me, or they just tell me it's normal and they feel the same way i do.
so what the hell IS shy or social anxiety if everybody seems to feel the same way i do? i am so fucking confused!
so what the hell IS shy or social anxiety if everybody seems to feel the same way i do? i am so fucking confused!
theblank
Well-known member
Dave_McFadden said:
It's funny that you mention that because I have actually become an "interactive exhibit" with the kind of work that I do. People literally do poke and prod at me.
I like being called aloof better than shy too, but usually when people call me that they think I am disinterested and don't care when that is not the case. It's just another way that I am misunderstood.
I hate when people start talking to me like a child. It just shows that they have no clue about the kind of issues I'm dealing with. I am not mentally retarded and think it's an insulting way to be talked too.
I had a date a couple of years ago and the woman all of sudden got real concerned and said, "You're kind of shy aren't you." To her that definitely was a bad thing. Whenever I tried to call her after that she'd hang the phone up on me without ever saying a word.
sickofbeinglonely
Well-known member
I used to feel offended by being called shy, particularly at school and at work when I left. Over the years I've accepted that I am and there's not much I can do about it.
freestylemonster
Banned
Dave_McFadden said:
n0id
Active member
I too feel offended when being called shy.
During a movie at a friends place, I started commenting on something. Someone said "be quiet!". Someone else said lowly to the other "heh, the only time he does talk is when he should be quiet".
That was really painful to hear and not to mention offending.
During a movie at a friends place, I started commenting on something. Someone said "be quiet!". Someone else said lowly to the other "heh, the only time he does talk is when he should be quiet".
That was really painful to hear and not to mention offending.
lilblackcutie
New member
I really hate being called shy especially by people I have just met. I try so hard to make a good impression by being chatty and outgoing so for them to then turn around and call me shy is kinda like a slap in the face. Like all my hard work was for nothing.
I also hate when my parents, especially my mum, make little comments about me being quiet and shy. It really upsets me when she calls me unsociable. Like I choose not to interact with people and go out and make new friends. Some people just dont understand how hard and lonely it really is when your a shy person.
I also hate when my parents, especially my mum, make little comments about me being quiet and shy. It really upsets me when she calls me unsociable. Like I choose not to interact with people and go out and make new friends. Some people just dont understand how hard and lonely it really is when your a shy person.
LucidPanda
Active member
I don't think I've ever been offended by that comment...To me It's just a statement of fact based on the observation of my behaviour.
Depending on how I'm feeling I'd just agree or wish that I was more social, *Shrugs*
Depending on how I'm feeling I'd just agree or wish that I was more social, *Shrugs*
limetree
Well-known member
My insides used to suddenly become heavy whenever I heard the words quiet or shy but now I can't think of truer words to describe myself.
I was taunted in primary school for being "abnormally quiet" and whenever I would say something they'd splurt out "geez, that's the first time we've ever heard you speak!"
Yesterday my *best friend* said in front of one of my acquintences "well this is the first time I've seen you be so...laughing" and it was offensive that people had this rigid perception of me being the broodily silent, serious one. The thought of defying people's expectations feels like such a burden. They wouldn't need to if we can try to be more open minded about what people are capable of and foster encouragement, growth, instead of assuming we're all such "good judges of character."
I was taunted in primary school for being "abnormally quiet" and whenever I would say something they'd splurt out "geez, that's the first time we've ever heard you speak!"
Yesterday my *best friend* said in front of one of my acquintences "well this is the first time I've seen you be so...laughing" and it was offensive that people had this rigid perception of me being the broodily silent, serious one. The thought of defying people's expectations feels like such a burden. They wouldn't need to if we can try to be more open minded about what people are capable of and foster encouragement, growth, instead of assuming we're all such "good judges of character."
Nikki_18
Member
I know exactly what you mean, I always feel offended when people call me quiet or shy, especially when I'm trying my best to join in conversations and be more confident. When people comment on it I loose the confidence to say anything at all and end up not talking to them. I really hate it when people comment on it because it makes me feel different and that I shouldn't be there or something just because I'm shy. Especially when there's a group of people around me, I feel embarrassed about my shyness and withdraw :S
Secret
Member
n0id said:
How cruel can someone be!? They should just shut their mounths themselves
And yes...I too feel very offended and depressed, when people call me shy...it can just be a little sweet coment, but still I just find it offending even though I know that it aint...or feeling like they are talking down to me like a small child, but of course I don't tell them... I only showing how pissed off I get to my parents ha ha... I really hate if someone see me like that...cause it's not who I am... or being called quiet!!... that's really not deliteful...
bitingthepea
Well-known member
hey
yeah i get offedned when people call me shy aswell
Im glad im not loud really but people see shy as a bad thing
I think shy people are always the nicer ones
(Y)
yeah i get offedned when people call me shy aswell
Im glad im not loud really but people see shy as a bad thing
I think shy people are always the nicer ones
(Y)
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
It bothers me when people call me shy, but that's mainly because they think I'm "only" shy. For me, it goes MUCH deeper than shyness. I only WISH I were shy. I also hate it when people ask me if I'm shy... as if it isn't obvious. I feel as if people look down on me & talk down to me because of it.
Ebbe
Well-known member
I don't often feel offended when people call me shy. I do get disappointed and sad when it happens. The only time I was really offended was by the following:
I was working somewhere and I had to visit another department. A guy there started talking to me and said: "So I heared from your colleagues that you are really shy. Well don't worry, you are still young, you'll get over it. So how old are you? 18?". Then when I told him I was 24 he suddenly got really annoyed and said: "Well it's about time you got over it then, isn't it?".
It still makes me fume when I think about it. Back then I just wanted to get out of there and cry.
I was working somewhere and I had to visit another department. A guy there started talking to me and said: "So I heared from your colleagues that you are really shy. Well don't worry, you are still young, you'll get over it. So how old are you? 18?". Then when I told him I was 24 he suddenly got really annoyed and said: "Well it's about time you got over it then, isn't it?".
It still makes me fume when I think about it. Back then I just wanted to get out of there and cry.
Angel4444
Member
Yeah, I know what you mean, it's like an insult because you know you're only 'shy' around certain people and in certain situations. On my school reports teacher's would always write that I was a 'quiet and conceintous (sp?) student'. Like I'm there to learn, aren't I, they should be happy I'm not running round the classroom screaming!