OLDER MEN: Is it easier to get girlfriend's of your age when you are older?

Moses199

Moses199

Well-known member
*Please answer if you are a guy and between the ages of 35-60yo.*
I'm 23yo and see that when i try to have regular convo with strangers of older women between the ages of 40-60 they seem to be less shy or judgmental, all together easier to talk to than strangers of girls my age. I've noticed girls my age seem to get uncomfortable when i approach them as a stranger to spark a convo which magnifies my SA, but older woman hardly ever get uncomfortable. This makes me feel like it would be easier to get girlfriends if you are a older man and looking for woman around 40-60yo.
 
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Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
I miss your age cut off by 2 years but I hope you don't mind if I comment. I wonder this as well because I thought in my mind it would be the polar opposite. From listening to women talk in my age group, they seem to have more expectations than younger ones. I mean if you've got your life together then it may be easier. But my own mother told me straight up that I'm not mature enough for a woman my age. And my older sister has a metric ton of single friends and never once introduced me to any which speak volumes in my opinion. I am curious what others have experienced though.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
As a guy in my mid-40s I would answer "yes" because men usually grow into their confidence in their 40s, or just stop giving a f***, which is kind of the same thing.

Always remember this: whoever needs it the least holds the most power.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
I didn't suffer from anxiety until I was in my forties, talking to people is a lot harder than it has ever been in my life.
 
Bronson99

Bronson99

Well-known member
Moses199 said:
*Please answer if you are a guy and between the ages of 35-60yo.*
I'm 23yo and see that when i try to have regular convo with strangers of older women between the ages of 40-60 they seem to be less shy or judgmental, all together easier to talk to than strangers of girls my age. I've noticed girls my age seem to get uncomfortable when i approach them as a stranger to spark a convo which magnifies my SA, but older woman hardly ever get uncomfortable. This makes me feel like it would be easier to get girlfriends if you are a older man and looking for woman around 40-60yo.
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I have no real comment on your main question, but nonetheless I think you should not give up trying to approach women your own age. I'm sure you can crack that code, as long as you keep trying.
 
W

Winja

Member
Girls who are not of an age typically sexually attracted to you are far easier to talk. They don't have to question whether you just want to pull them.

But I think it'll still get easier. The myriad of social circles left over from education and where you drink on a friday night will break down. By the time you're in your 30's, girls you try to pull will likely know nobody you know and this will give you more confidence. If it all goes wrong, they don't know anyone you know you. So there's less reason to be nervous.
 
Moses199

Moses199

Well-known member
Megaten said:
I miss your age cut off by 2 years but I hope you don't mind if I comment. I wonder this as well because I thought in my mind it would be the polar opposite. From listening to women talk in my age group, they seem to have more expectations than younger ones. I mean if you've got your life together then it may be easier. But my own mother told me straight up that I'm not mature enough for a woman my age. And my older sister has a metric ton of single friends and never once introduced me to any which speak volumes in my opinion. I am curious what others have experienced though.
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Why don't you just tell your sister to introduce you to them? lol
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Moses199 said:
Why don't you just tell your sister to introduce you to them? lol
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Well because 1. Im a big ole scardy cat and 2. I honestly didnt feel then, and still dont feel now that Im mature enough.

Also I guess I kinda assumed people like close family would see me floundering and attempt to help. They sure as heck have no qualms about getting in my business when I do things they dont like lol.
 
kihira

kihira

1
Moses199 said:
*Please answer if you are a guy and between the ages of 35-60yo.*
I'm 23yo and see that when i try to have regular convo with strangers of older women between the ages of 40-60 they seem to be less shy or judgmental, all together easier to talk to than strangers of girls my age. I've noticed girls my age seem to get uncomfortable when i approach them as a stranger to spark a convo which magnifies my SA, but older woman hardly ever get uncomfortable. This makes me feel like it would be easier to get girlfriends if you are a older man and looking for woman around 40-60yo.
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If you're approaching women with the idea of "getting a girlfriend", then you're generally going to give off bad vibes. Older women won't be assuming you're trying to pick them up - well, you're not, so you don't have that vibe to them - but if you did start to try to come onto them they would probably get uncomfortable, too. So its not a older women are less shy thing, its a people don't like complete strangers trying to befriend them thing. That's my thoughts.
 
Bronson99

Bronson99

Well-known member
kihira said:
If you're approaching women with the idea of "getting a girlfriend", then you're generally going to give off bad vibes. Older women won't be assuming you're trying to pick them up - well, you're not, so you don't have that vibe to them - but if you did start to try to come onto them they would probably get uncomfortable, too. So its not a older women are less shy thing, its a people don't like complete strangers trying to befriend them thing. That's my thoughts.
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There is an underlying motivation behind a great deal of human behavior, I'm afraid.. it is normal to project forward to desired results, even if those results are unlikely or far-fetched.

Secondly, you seem to be implying that approaching or conversing with women you don't know is wrong.. which is interesting to me, because if you replaced the word "women" with "people", I doubt you would have objected. I'm wondering if this is more about your sensitivity, IMHO.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
kihira said:
If you're approaching women with the idea of "getting a girlfriend", then you're generally going to give off bad vibes.
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This is very true. Women are most excited by a man who doesn't "need" her.

Hence, the woman pines for the "unavailable" dude and either the Pump n' Dump ensues or she get's the guy to somehow commit and "fixes" him.

The lesson in all this is that people value most that which is difficult to obtain.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
The Women: A single entity, a single consciousness, a single behaviour pattern. As easy to predict as an ant colony.
 
S_Spartan

S_Spartan

Well-known member
Pacific_Loner said:
The Women: A single entity, a single consciousness, a single behaviour pattern. As easy to predict as an ant colony.
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To a large degree people in general are predictable. Why do you think that marketing and advertising work so well? Or how the psychology field can label a person's neurosis based on the patient's patterns of behavior? Or how a politician can motivate a large group of people to go out and press his/her button on election day?

Are there outliers? Sure.

But the majority of people are all following the same script.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Pacific_Loner said:
The Women: A single entity, a single consciousness, a single behaviour pattern. As easy to predict as an ant colony.
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^:militarysalute:


deleted........nevermind. It is just so hard to stay silent when you see unreasonable reasoning from the opposite gender. : (
 
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Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
BlueDays said:
^:militarysalute:


deleted........nevermind. It is just so hard to stay silent when you see unreasonable reasoning from the opposite gender. : (
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Im not entirely sure what was deleted, but to be honest, just telling people not to make broad sweeping judgments about a group they have little experience with is just like spinning your tires. Its not really different from how people will make presumptions about people based on their religion, race or country of origin. The problem is a lack of experience with dealing with them. So people try to rationalize what they dont understand by either making assumptions or going off of what they've read/seen on tv. Everyone is guilty of this to some degree. Really the only thing that would stop that here in SPW would be for both the men AND women to have more experience with the other gender, but social phobia limits that tremendously. I have almost no experience (except two disastrous dates) with women in my age group so I have personally have very little info to process other than that, and what Ive seen a few say on Facebook about how they felt about men at this point in their lives. And what Ive gathered is that they have very little patience for guys that dont have their lives together. So no I dont think it would be easier, but the OP seems motivated so he personally might sort his dating life out.
 
Bronson99

Bronson99

Well-known member
Megaten said:
Im not entirely sure what was deleted, but to be honest, just telling people not to make broad sweeping judgments about a group they have little experience with is just like spinning your tires. Its not really different from how people will make presumptions about people based on their religion, race or country of origin. The problem is a lack of experience with dealing with them. So people try to rationalize what they dont understand by either making assumptions or going off of what they've read/seen on tv. Everyone is guilty of this to some degree. Really the only thing that would stop that here in SPW would be for both the men AND women to have more experience with the other gender, but social phobia limits that tremendously. I have almost no experience (except two disastrous dates) with women in my age group so I have personally have very little info to process other than that, and what Ive seen a few say on Facebook about how they felt about men at this point in their lives. And what Ive gathered is that they have very little patience for guys that dont have their lives together. So no I dont think it would be easier, but the OP seems motivated so he personally might sort his dating life out.
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This may not be on topic, but you said you had two disastrous dates. My advice? You don't need that pressure, obviously it's just going to ruin everything before it happens.

So, keep it open-ended.. don't seek out women who are very serious about making it a "date." I believe it's better, especially for those with social difficulty, to either try to click as friends with the woman you're interested in first.. or otherwise, just say "we'll be hanging out.. and see where it goes." The difference, with the right person, can be monumental. The pressure is *far* less.
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Bronson99 said:
This may not be on topic, but you said you had two disastrous dates. My advice? You don't need that pressure, obviously it's just going to ruin everything before it happens.

So, keep it open-ended.. don't seek out women who are very serious about making it a "date." I believe it's better, especially for those with social difficulty, to either try to click as friends with the woman you're interested in first.. or otherwise, just say "we'll be hanging out.. and see where it goes." The difference, with the right person, can be monumental. The pressure is *far* less.
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Youre probably right, both ladies I met through a dating site. That would definitely explain why they werent being very patient while I figured out exactly HOW to date lmbo. Oh well, life lessons.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I would also like to add, be wary of accepting/taking advice from people who give advice, but haven't had successful relationships, let alone the fact they may not be in one currently.

End point.
 
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