OLDER MEN: Is it easier to get girlfriend's of your age when you are older?

PugofCrydee said:

I would also like to add, be wary of accepting/taking advice from people who give advice, but haven't had successful relationships, let alone the fact they may not be in one currently.

End point.

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Haha.

But also keep in mind this is also a 'help' forum populated mostly by people who openly declare that their lives are pointless, there's no use trying, etc. Anyone who has already adopted a defeatist mindset is probably going to find their answers in that the same way lonely guys are looking for comfort in these kinds of threads.

I answered but deleted my post because it was too full of generalizations, which is what topics like this are asking people to make. It's probably comforting to believe that life is a series of predictable stages that everyone goes through and we all come out the other side with everything we want, but that's not reality. Unfortunately, it is entirely possible that you will go through life trying and constantly failing, or waiting and watching everything you want slowly slip out of the realm of possibility.

Things won't just happen for you because you reach a certain age-- you need to be able to learn from your mistakes and apply what you've learned. It doesn't matter what age you are, if you do this without giving up, then you will eventually get there. It might also help to ask others, because we don't always get a good sense of what our own flaws are... a lot of us tend to be too soft on ourselves while being overly hard on others.

This is actually really difficult for a lot of people, because they will usually have a list of reasons why it isn't their fault, why the world is ****ed up and why they were right and everyone who disagrees is wrong because it shouldn't be like this.

Anxiety is actually pretty manageable when it comes right down to it. Most people will understand if you tell them, and being open about it actually helps you realize that they're not out to get you. What trips people up is when they keep it to themselves and withdraw into isolation. The effect that the resulting isolation has on their egos and the fact that they think admitting to character flaws is somehow worse than spending the rest of their lives putting people off and being rejected for them.

I am in a relationship right now, btw.

Odo said:

Haha.

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You do realize I said 'Be wary of taking advice...'

Not 'dont take advice..' right?

I stand by what I said.

"haha". But thanks for the extremely informative post :applause:

kihira said:

If you're approaching women with the idea of "getting a girlfriend", then you're generally going to give off bad vibes. Older women won't be assuming you're trying to pick them up - well, you're not, so you don't have that vibe to them - but if you did start to try to come onto them they would probably get uncomfortable, too. So its not a older women are less shy thing, its a people don't like complete strangers trying to befriend them thing. That's my thoughts.

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hmm, i like this

kihira said:

If you're approaching women with the idea of "getting a girlfriend", then you're generally going to give off bad vibes. Older women won't be assuming you're trying to pick them up - well, you're not, so you don't have that vibe to them - but if you did start to try to come onto them they would probably get uncomfortable, too. So its not a older women are less shy thing, its a people don't like complete strangers trying to befriend them thing. That's my thoughts.

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I don't think approaching women with the idea of getting a "GF" is bad. It's the skill you have at attaining them that matter. But maybe for some people having a GF motive can affect their game counter productively, while for other it can enchance it. Everyone responds differently to curtain stimulus.

And, i wasn't saying in my OP that i was coming one to women in a intamet sense. I was just having normal convo (non-intimate) with different age groups of stranger females - that's when i started noticing younger girls around my age are more uncomfortable and timid when having casual conversation with me. From other people feedbacks on SAS forum, i now believe girls my age act in this behavior because there's a social expectation and pressure for an intimacy since they are in my age.

PugofCrydee said:

I would also like to add, be wary of accepting/taking advice from people who give advice, but haven't had successful relationships, let alone the fact they may not be in one currently.

End point.

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Lol that's EXACTLY the thought that was going through my mind. It doesn't make sense to giving dating advice if you haven't found it from researching dating material or intensive infield experience.

Moses199 said:

Lol that's EXACTLY the thought that was going through my mind. It doesn't make sense to giving dating advice if you haven't found it from researching dating material or intensive infield experience.

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You asked if it was easier to get in a relationship after 34. A person can answer that whether they are successful, in a relationship or currently single. One guy can say yes it is and another can say no its not. Thats all going to completely depend on how bad that man's SA is later in life. I would say for YOU it might be since youre taking steps to get yourself out there early. I didnt start dating until like 28 so I brought a crap ton of inexperience and insecurities out there with me.

If you two feel that way then you should maybe ask "Do you have a woman? If so how'd you get her? Did you have more luck as an older guy or younger?"

I think the age difference just changes the situation, I am 40 and find it easier to talk to a younger lady than someone my age. I can quickly put them in a daughter like role and that makes conversation easy. As has been mentioned if someone says something to change that easy conversation it can quickly turn bad.

S_Spartan said:

Always remember this: whoever needs it the least holds the most power.

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I don't fully grasp this quote, can you expand on it?

Nevermind....
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_least_interest
That's what I get for not googling it first.

I don't feel it's any easier. most women from that age bracket I take an interest in are taken and are married, sometimes with kids. its an increasing smaller pool you are fishing in to try and get a catch, if you pardon the turn of phrase.

S_Spartan said:

As a guy in my mid-40s I would answer "yes" because men usually grow into their confidence in their 40s, or just stop giving a f***, which is kind of the same thing.

Always remember this: whoever needs it the least holds the most power.

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Yeah this.