vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
In a year it will be October, 2012. I was thinking about this the other day, and how different things could be at that point. And that made me think back to October 2010, and what things about me are different since then, and how things then were different than in 2009. A lot changes over the span of a year!
But it's not a series of sudden changes, it's all gradual, everyday changing me a little bit in one way or another. The best runners don't get there by running hard sporadically throughout the year, they gain a little endurance every time they run, and lose a little every time they don't.
Right now, I'm not the best me I can be, by any means. I'm not going to dwell on this because that's not the point of this, but I want to be the best I can be. And like running, and all good things in life, it doesn't happen over night. In order to do this, I'm making a plan. I'm deciding I want to better myself.
There are two major components that I'll need to do this; action and consistency of action. As I said with the runner, just running isn't enough, she has to do it on a regular basis to be a good runner. The exact action I need to take is not as clear as it with the runner, I'm not even exactly sure what I'm trying to accomplish.
That's okay.
The improvements to myself I hope to make are not quantitative, but qualitative. I'm not looking to accomplish specific things like "talk to a stranger" or "go on a date," at least not as a part of my overall goal. I plan on having "mini-goals" on a regular basis, but only as contributors to improving myself.
You may be wondering what the hell I'm trying to accomplish now, and the significance of one year if I don't have any tangible goals that I hope to accomplish by that time.
The one year first.
This is my hope, my motivator. I see how much a can happen over the span of a year, the gradual shifts over a long period of time. That it's not the few big moments that defines me, but the little things I do day in and day out. It gives the little things meaning.
What little things though, what am I even trying to do?
First and foremost it's about me, and being the me I want to be, the best me I can put out. I have a good idea of who this, and I feel I already hold all the qualities to be him, I just need to bring them out. I would hope other positive things happen as I do this, but this is the main goal.
Is this goal of this "idealized me" actually attainable? No, and the perfectionist in me hates that fact. But I can get damn close.
The next question has to be "How?" Here's the plan.
I do not set this in stone for as I have already stated, things change. Two things I am good at is establishing strategies and making plans for getting what I want and modifying them when necessary. One thing I am not good at is keeping to my plans, hence why I am so good at modifications. That is why the first thing is a weekly schedule.
Every week I will develop a schedule that will allow me to follow through on doing things that are good for me. I am aware that self-control and procrastination are two things that have hurt me in the past, so this scheduling will be very strict. I will mark out a time to shower. A time to eat. A time to do homework. A time to go online. I made one for this week and have been doing my best to follow it. I'm still figuring out how to make it effective, so as time goes on I will hope to make the things included more specific, and presented in a way I'll be able to effectively follow.
What goes on my schedule is the next important thing. My intention is to make everything do-able, within my ability. I'm not going to tell myself to study for 12 straight hours without food or sleep or breaks, I know I can't. No dramatic changes to my lifestyle either, easing into new habits is important so I don't feel overwhelmed. Doing things right is more important than quickly. If I tried to run a 6 minute mile today I'd more likely hurt myself than accomplish the feat.
What specifically the things that fill up my schedule are still uncertain. While I have a pretty good idea of where I want to go, how to get their is fuzzier. I have some things I know will help, and some things I know should be lessened, but the exact specific look of my life is still unwritten. That's why I'm making a weekly schedule instead of a monthly, or yearly. Even my weekly schedule, while it should be followed as closely as it can when it comes to some things, can be changed. Life is unpredictable and I never know what obstacles or opportunities will arise.
This is why it's not set in stone. I don't have all the answers, I don't think any of us do. All I can do is try my best to find the ones that are best for me.
I will try to keep you all updated as go through, what I find works and what doesn't, what I am thinking about trying and my brainstream at the moment may be. Once I figure out how to upload text files to the internet I hope to post my weekly schedule and explain it, how it's different from past weeks and why. Thanks for reading my long post if you made it
But it's not a series of sudden changes, it's all gradual, everyday changing me a little bit in one way or another. The best runners don't get there by running hard sporadically throughout the year, they gain a little endurance every time they run, and lose a little every time they don't.
Right now, I'm not the best me I can be, by any means. I'm not going to dwell on this because that's not the point of this, but I want to be the best I can be. And like running, and all good things in life, it doesn't happen over night. In order to do this, I'm making a plan. I'm deciding I want to better myself.
There are two major components that I'll need to do this; action and consistency of action. As I said with the runner, just running isn't enough, she has to do it on a regular basis to be a good runner. The exact action I need to take is not as clear as it with the runner, I'm not even exactly sure what I'm trying to accomplish.
That's okay.
The improvements to myself I hope to make are not quantitative, but qualitative. I'm not looking to accomplish specific things like "talk to a stranger" or "go on a date," at least not as a part of my overall goal. I plan on having "mini-goals" on a regular basis, but only as contributors to improving myself.
You may be wondering what the hell I'm trying to accomplish now, and the significance of one year if I don't have any tangible goals that I hope to accomplish by that time.
The one year first.
This is my hope, my motivator. I see how much a can happen over the span of a year, the gradual shifts over a long period of time. That it's not the few big moments that defines me, but the little things I do day in and day out. It gives the little things meaning.
What little things though, what am I even trying to do?
First and foremost it's about me, and being the me I want to be, the best me I can put out. I have a good idea of who this, and I feel I already hold all the qualities to be him, I just need to bring them out. I would hope other positive things happen as I do this, but this is the main goal.
Is this goal of this "idealized me" actually attainable? No, and the perfectionist in me hates that fact. But I can get damn close.
The next question has to be "How?" Here's the plan.
I do not set this in stone for as I have already stated, things change. Two things I am good at is establishing strategies and making plans for getting what I want and modifying them when necessary. One thing I am not good at is keeping to my plans, hence why I am so good at modifications. That is why the first thing is a weekly schedule.
Every week I will develop a schedule that will allow me to follow through on doing things that are good for me. I am aware that self-control and procrastination are two things that have hurt me in the past, so this scheduling will be very strict. I will mark out a time to shower. A time to eat. A time to do homework. A time to go online. I made one for this week and have been doing my best to follow it. I'm still figuring out how to make it effective, so as time goes on I will hope to make the things included more specific, and presented in a way I'll be able to effectively follow.
What goes on my schedule is the next important thing. My intention is to make everything do-able, within my ability. I'm not going to tell myself to study for 12 straight hours without food or sleep or breaks, I know I can't. No dramatic changes to my lifestyle either, easing into new habits is important so I don't feel overwhelmed. Doing things right is more important than quickly. If I tried to run a 6 minute mile today I'd more likely hurt myself than accomplish the feat.
What specifically the things that fill up my schedule are still uncertain. While I have a pretty good idea of where I want to go, how to get their is fuzzier. I have some things I know will help, and some things I know should be lessened, but the exact specific look of my life is still unwritten. That's why I'm making a weekly schedule instead of a monthly, or yearly. Even my weekly schedule, while it should be followed as closely as it can when it comes to some things, can be changed. Life is unpredictable and I never know what obstacles or opportunities will arise.
This is why it's not set in stone. I don't have all the answers, I don't think any of us do. All I can do is try my best to find the ones that are best for me.
I will try to keep you all updated as go through, what I find works and what doesn't, what I am thinking about trying and my brainstream at the moment may be. Once I figure out how to upload text files to the internet I hope to post my weekly schedule and explain it, how it's different from past weeks and why. Thanks for reading my long post if you made it