online dating - Page 32

emre43 · 02-18-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by twiggle

They may be assumptions, but they're true in a whole lot of cases.

Older men often prove to be more mature as they've 'grown out' of the culture of sleeping around on lads holidays etc. Sad, but so often true. Doesn't mean you shouldn't give younger guys a chance, but if you're asked to state your preferences on a website then why not put it?

Because it lowers the self-belief of people with already poor self-belief and men don't say looking for women between the age of 25-30..

Earlier I said I want an emotional connection probably more than sex. I just said that because I felt like a 'tard for wanting a relationship more than sex. But I definitely 110% want an emotional connection more than sex.

Also, I'm registered on a football (soccer) forum full of people aged 25+ and all they can discuss is sex. The most recent one is a 29-year-old who said that he is going to spend the whole day shagging his missus. I've read a 66 year-old tell his 63-year-old friend that he is feeling depressed. The response he was given to get over it was to shag his wife. I've also seen a lot of women say on dating sites that they can't live without sex so it isn't one-sided. So many relationships are centred on sex and would fall apart if it was taken out of the equation. I'm a decent guy who wants to meet a decent girl but I feel that I'm not being given a chance. I've contacted 6 or 7 girls but haven't heard back from any of them, sigh...

twiggle · 02-18-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by emre43

Because it lowers the self-belief of people with already poor self-belief .

Without meaning to sound harsh, why should that stop a woman from stating her own personal preferences?
A lot of women prefer older men. A lot of men prefer younger women. There's really nothing sinister about it.

emre43 · 02-18-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by twiggle

Without meaning to sound harsh, why should that stop a woman from stating her own personal preferences?
A lot of women prefer older men. A lot of men prefer younger women. There's really nothing sinister about it.

I know it's not sinister, it's their prerogative. But from personal experience it feels horrible. I just want somebody my age that I can connect to and I'm struggling to find anybody.

twiggle · 02-18-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by emre43

I know it's not sinister, it's their prerogative. But as I said before it lowers the self-belief of people with already low self-belief.

It really shouldn't though, it's just stating an age preference, it's not saying, 'I'm only willing to date somebody with a massive appendage and heaps of self-confidence".

Science often says that women mature faster than men, therefore some women might prefer to target somebody who is already more likely to be on the same level as them in terms of maturity. Alternatively, maybe they feel more protected by an older guy. None of these reasons should lower your self-belief.

Perhaps there are younger women who would love to have a guy your age? And not being as interested in sex as you are the emotional connection already makes you sound like a good catch!

emre43 · 02-19-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by twiggle

And not being as interested in sex as you are the emotional connection already makes you sound like a good catch!

Awww, thanks.

Olhos Abertos · 02-19-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by twiggle

Science often says that women mature faster than men, therefore some women might prefer to target somebody who is already more likely to be on the same level as them in terms of maturity. Alternatively, maybe they feel more protected by an older guy. None of these reasons should lower your self-belief.

I dont believe that yet,maybe physically,if maturity is subjective there is no way to know that,how do you meassure maturity,in fact girls around my age in high school were dating much older guys who were already taken and only there to take advantage of them,this is not maturity to me.

twiggle · 02-19-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Olhos Abertos

I dont believe that yet,maybe physically,if maturity is subjective there is no way to know that,how do you meassure maturity,in fact girls around my age in high school were dating much older guys who were already taken and only there to take advantage of them,this is not maturity to me.

Well I guess it just depends on your own personal experiences.
I've found it to be true in a lot of cases, I have to say. Several slightly older guys often tell me that they were idiots in their 20's and messed girls around etc.... and of all the couples I know, the happiest ones are the ones in which the guy is a few years older.
Again, personal experiences, but I believe in it.

emre43 · 02-19-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by twiggle

Well I guess it just depends on your own personal experiences.
I've found it to be true in a lot of cases, I have to say. Several slightly older guys often tell me that they were idiots in their 20's and messed girls around etc.... and of all the couples I know, the happiest ones are the ones in which the guy is a few years older.
Again, personal experiences, but I believe in it.

To be honest from a male perspective I have always seen girls to be the ones who mature late.

Olhos Abertos · 02-19-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by twiggle

Well I guess it just depends on your own personal experiences.
I've found it to be true in a lot of cases, I have to say. Several slightly older guys often tell me that they were idiots in their 20's and messed girls around etc.... and of all the couples I know, the happiest ones are the ones in which the guy is a few years older.
Again, personal experiences, but I believe in it.

I dont think it is and not wanting to offend you but I dont think you are an unbiased source,so I would rather stay with the opinion that maturity is subjective,another thing I am seeing in this thread is that men who are older dont cheat, dont like sex as much and are not promiscuous,I disagree also, a lot just grow more experienced at doing those stuff,so again its about the individual.

Necrucifer · 02-19-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feathers

Neco, you don't tell people you're 'unemployed', it sounds better if you say 'between jobs' or something, or 'working on some xyz projects' (xyz projects being something you're really working on - eg your music or art classes or whatever!!)
Yeah, 'unemployed' can end things quickly, especially if the person has a job and 'traditional' interests/views on life...
If they're in financial troubles and looking for someone with money, it's better if they end things quickly, no? You can meet others then...

OceanMist, if you met those women on a dating site, do you have 'friends' as one of the options ticked? Because you might want them as friends while they might want a prince who adores them and feels attracted to them??
It may just be a 'mis-alignement' of expectations!!

A girl can 'feel' if a guy is really attracted or not (though with shy guys that may be a bit more difficult, but even shy guys can brave up if there's a connection!!) So, just check other girls - and maybe meet up with some group as friends, on meet-up or something? It's easier if you're seeing or at least friends with other people!!

You do tell them you're unemployed when they are scammers and just care about your money

I explain I am looking for a job currently and also soon to be taking classes but unless you misread my post I explained I tell that to scammers so dont worry I wouldnt go running and tellin gthat off to everyone lol.