Opening up and Sharing things with people

I often find that good conversationalists often share things with other people about themselves.
It seems to me like there's nothing about me to share. Or nothing around me I see that I can share with people. Although I know that's a complete and utter lie. How do I get past this? I'm not quite sure I know what to share with people? and how can I increase my ability to share things with people?
It seems to me like a lot of people have a collection of stories and see things every day that I just wouldn't see.
I feel so alienated...

I feel exactly the same way- that I don't really connect with people because of my inability or complete refusal to share things about myself. Recently I've noticed that I've gotten good with "small talk," but realized that it doesn't go any farther than that because I keep myself closed off, and like you, feel that I don't really have anything meaningful or interesting to share about myself- or that the things I could share would potentially embarrass or leave me vulnerable to ridicule.

lurknomore said:

I feel exactly the same way- that I don't really connect with people because of my inability or complete refusal to share things about myself. Recently I've noticed that I've gotten good with "small talk," but realized that it doesn't go any farther than that because I keep myself closed off, and like you, feel that I don't really have anything meaningful or interesting to share about myself- or that the things I could share would potentially embarrass or leave me vulnerable to ridicule.

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I think you should try and share anything you can. (well not anything, not all your personal stuff and secrets). But the stuff you mentioned that you think will embarrass you or leave you vulnerable. I think you should just do it and see what happens (much easier said then done like). Practice, Practice, Practice.

Where as I feel I have not a single thing to share.

I also can do basic small talk - but like you I have great troubles getting past it. Free-flowing conversation does not blossom. I hate it.

I feel the same. It's as if I didn't have anything in common with them.I mean they all share funny stories, and I just can't connect with them because I feel as if I have nothing to share, and didn't live the experiences they have.
When I was younger and didn't know that i had SA, I thought that they were smarter than me because they always had something to share and were resourceful, whereas I ,because of my SA, wasn't.

I keep myself to myself.

I express my feelings through songs, and music.

Thats the only way i open up.

Try telling yourself you're interesting. That even though it doesn't seem interesting to you, that other people want to hear what you have to say. When we spend a lot of time by ourselves, we get used to/bored with ourselves and think others will feel the same way, even though they won't. If you've watched a movie a 1000 times it will be very boring, but someone who has never seen it will be very interested in seeing it.

I mean I too have great difficulty opening up to anyone about anything, and that may have something to do with it. I think a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence play a role as well (may tie in with above), so trying to improve these things may help as well.

I too feel like I've got nothing to share in conversation, do you think they want to hear about my miserable life? I don't think so, so if I'm chatting with someone, I usually look for a hint in what they say and try to ask things related to it so the conversation will go on a bit longer.

Well, I can open up and share things with people, but was almost completely unable to do so in my teens - so some of these things can be a bit age-related, and you can learn a lot..

You can first talk about other people (family or friends, or what you saw on TV/net/in books or magazines) or share stories from when you were a kid, or simple 'unthreatening' things.. like good memories or any funny/good things that happened.. then, you slowly get an opinion of that other person, when you say something and they say something.. It's important to start slowly and not with your 'darkest deepest secrets' even if that's all you've been thinking about.. There's a time and place for everything..
You need to know and trust people well before you trust them with the more vulnerable stuff.. (!!)

It's like dancing, a bit. You go one step ahead, then they go one step ahead.. or like playing ping-pong.. or running a marathon.. if you never ran one before, you don't go full 42 km in one day.. you start small, to build your level of fitness and ability to run..

small talk is the warm-up, if you find people are interested in talking more (body language, eye contact, smiling, questions, etc.) and you like them too, you can dance into the other 'arena' - favorite music bands or interests/hobbies.. this can get sorta personal, and people like talking about stuff they are interested in.. so you share a little, they share a little.. if you find good common interests, you can talk about those.. it's easier to express emotions in 'small doses' too.. and good emotions first, 'bad' emotions if it's really important too.. these are not so easy sometimes.. it's easiest if it's a shared experience: tired and exhausted cause studying for the exams = a common student interest, so many can relate..

You can also share ideas/opinions/emotions via discussing music or books or films/TV series or news.. 'Did you hear/see that new song/film/series?' or 'Did you hear about .....?' can show you what the other person thinks about a BIG range of topics.. (just apply news on what you want to find out their attitude about). Then, you know their opinion on something and you may know better whether to talk about certain things or not.

If you want to talk about something 'negative' ideally find someone also going through this or who has already gone through this and/or looks sympathetic. Then, you can both moan about it and it's easier Or s/he will say, 'Ah, I've been through this too, and it can get easier' and maybe even share some tips
Or talk about wishes and plans, or any interesting developments or events in a field you're both interested in...

i think you should say whatever you want , but i know this is very difficult to do in real life , so i would suggest you to say as much as you can to other peoples even if theyre not very interested in knowing .

well I dont like to share much no point really

I hate sharing about myself with people since I hate talking about my past, am using all my efforts to erase it completely.

I have a lot of stuff to share about myself. Lots of things that interest me and experiences I've had in the past. I am also usually very opinionated about everything and I'm good at talking about things that don't interest me because I like to learn about everything. If someone starts talking about sports, I'll go along with it even though I'm not a sports person. People fascinate me. So naturally, their interests fascinate me and when they talk about something they're passionate about, I can identify with them because I have passions. Even if our passions don't align, the feeling is there.

The problem with all this is I have a fear of talking. So even though I know exactly what I want to say, I stop myself. I'm caged within myself. It's horrible.

JosephG said:

I often find that good conversationalists often share things with other people about themselves.
It seems to me like there's nothing about me to share. Or nothing around me I see that I can share with people. Although I know that's a complete and utter lie. How do I get past this? I'm not quite sure I know what to share with people? and how can I increase my ability to share things with people?
It seems to me like a lot of people have a collection of stories and see things every day that I just wouldn't see.
I feel so alienated...

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I think it's probably less that you have no stories or anything interesting to share than it is the fact that you don't trust people. I've been battling this for years because I was such an outcast as a kid and got made fun of a lot. I share more things now than I used to, but I still keep a lot more to myself than I probably should.