Parents projected their marital problems

AtTheGates

Banned
projected onto ME throughout my youth. I dont think they intended it but I think they unloaded all their negative vibes from their relationship problems onto ME (and not my brother and sister) because i was the youngest and have always been the blacksheep of the family. I think by the time i was born their marriage was under alot of strain and I was slightly more difficult to raise than my brother and sister so they got fed up with me alot..I actually think they only wanted to have TWO kids so I think my dad resented the fact that I wasnt aborted(but im not 100% sure about that part). he couldnt handle having an extra kid. I think maybe my brother and sister picked up on that vibe too and inadvertently where conditioned to dislike me basically just by seeing how my parents interacted with me. instead of my dad putting in extra effort to coach me through life and work with me he just cut corners because he had better things to do (like hang out with my brother). Now here I am at age 24, a social screw up because I had to go through a series of trial and error events in order to figure out HOW to be "normal". I wish someone had just worked with me and told me what to do YEARS ago so I wouldnt have gone down the wrong road in life and had to back-track to the crossroads that I presently stand at . im in-between chapters in life but I cant really blame anyone for my current situation because now im old enough to figure things out for myself. I just wish I would have figured some things out earlier on...I can only LEARN from the past. im standing stagnant at a metaphorical crossroads. i just have to figure out which road is the right one for me and then start walking down it..HOPING that it wont lead to another dead end.
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
My mum was the same with me. So I can relate.

I'm also the youngest and blacksheep of the family. And a social reject - for lack of a better word. Not sayin' you are, Gate. Just me. No offense intended. I've also had to figure out how to be "normal". I kinda wish someone had help me through things, too. Instead of just leaving me to figure it all out.

So yer not alone. I'm also at that in-between, metaphorical crossroads in life. Anyway I hope you can get through this stagnant period in yer life. What am I sayin', I know you can. Stay strong. :thumbup:
 

AtTheGates

Banned
I know what you mean, im actually quite a pariah myself. I live in a small town and people have basically been making fun of me and slandering my name on and off since i was a teenager (including my dad)...it seems like instead of giving you advice and telling you what you need to know, people just wait for you to make mistakes and then they judge you for them......anyway,iv never had more than 4 or 5 freinds at a time but currently I have none because they all talked bad about me behind my back and started stealing from me...sometimes you have to cut people out of your life like that..they were never very good freinds to begin with.
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I know what you mean, im actually quite a pariah myself. I live in a small town and people have basically been making fun of me and slandering my name on and off since i was a teenager (including my dad)...it seems like instead of giving you advice and telling you what you need to know, people just wait for you to make mistakes and then they judge you for them...

I can pretty much relate, there. I live in a crappy, wee town, also. People have been making fun of me and makin' assumptions about me since my teens as well. Not sure if it's worse that my family still do it, or I've just gotten used to it?

Though, I think it more annoying that no-one takes me seriously when I speak. Anyway, that's another story.

I feel, nowadays, people rarely give advice. It seems the learn by f**kin' up method is the way to go. People have also become less caring and more judgemental and negative, I feel.

...anyway,iv never had more than 4 or 5 freinds at a time but currently I have none because they all talked bad about me behind my back and started stealing from me...sometimes you have to cut people out of your life like that..they were never very good freinds to begin with.

I've never really had more than 1 or 2 friends. Don't have any currently, myself, because of major trust issues. You made the right choice in removing those people from your life who aren't good - at times, that can be a difficult thing to do. :thumbup:
 
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