Parents taking the mick out of my SA

They don't understand and don't even try to. On the countless times that I have tried explaining to them what it's like for me, they turn their heads or will literally walk away.
They even throw away letters that are addressed to me by from the psychiatrist or doctor.
I'm convinced they still believe I'm putting on an act. After all these years.

Yesterday I asked if it'd be possible for me to go to the Great British Brony Convention for my birthday and I'd be paying for most of it and what have you. The first thing they said was something along the lines of, "Oh you won't go. It'll be minutes before you have to go and you'll be crying and whining and going 'I don't want to go' ". They said it in a mocking tone.
This is a regular thing and they think I'm completely incapable of being independent or something. Or it was simply their way of saying no (This is a regular way for them getting out of something).
It's honestly like dealing with 5 year olds at times.

I was just venting, but I'm actually also curious if any one else's parents act in a similar way?

That is not very nice. Have you thought of asking the doctors to send the letters to another address or poste restante?

If you are of age I would try to find a job if you don't have one and move out. It was one of the best things I did in my life. My parents are like yours.

Auburn said:

They don't understand and don't even try to. On the countless times that I have tried explaining to them what it's like for me, they turn their heads or will literally walk away.
They even throw away letters that are addressed to me by from the psychiatrist or doctor.
I'm convinced they still believe I'm putting on an act. After all these years.

Yesterday I asked if it'd be possible for me to go to the Great British Brony Convention for my birthday and I'd be paying for most of it and what have you. The first thing they said was something along the lines of, "Oh you won't go. It'll be minutes before you have to go and you'll be crying and whining and going 'I don't want to go' ". They said it in a mocking tone.
This is a regular thing and they think I'm completely incapable of being independent or something. Or it was simply their way of saying no (This is a regular way for them getting out of something).
It's honestly like dealing with 5 year olds at times.

I was just venting, but I'm actually also curious if any one else's parents act in a similar way?

Click to expand...

hey how old are you now?

THeCARS1979 said:

hey how old are you now?

Click to expand...

I will be 17 next month.

arjuna said:

If you are of age I would try to find a job if you don't have one and move out. It was one of the best things I did in my life. My parents are like yours.

Click to expand...

I recently got removed from college (School in the UK is different) due to my lack of attendance. The reason for my no attendance was because I'm beyond terrified to go. Though I'm currently trying to get back in for the next school year as I really want to be able to do my course.
My point is, being as I'm terrified enough as it is just to go to school. I'm pretty certain that I'd have the same fear if I was to get a job :shyness:

hoddesdon said:

That is not very nice. Have you thought of asking the doctors to send the letters to another address or poste restante?

Click to expand...

There's not really any other address I could give them nor do I think I could do the poste restante :/

some people really can't depend on parents for certain types of support (my dad for example, is somewhat of an emotionally immature oafish type of person...I recall a few times when i was having problems as a teenager and he would make mocking comments like "he's just being EMO"..like it was a joke to him..I had issues back then and he had no idea how to help me with so I ended up turning to drugs in order to deal with my problems...its a long story but basically it didn't end well)...anyway, you're parents might just not have an adequate level of emotional intelligence to help you with these problems..sweeping issues under the rug is NOT a solution but it sounds like thats what their trying to do.....you might have to just come to terms with the fact that you're parents aren't going to be able to support you when it comes to SA and other similar issues but that doesn't mean they can't support you in OTHER ways....you might want to find a good therapist so you can go ahead and solve these psychological/emotional problems you're having instead of carrying them on into you're 20's.......find healthy coping mechanisms NOW in your teens...you'll thank yourself later.


lastly, I think my dad is a reasonably good person but he has his OWN emotional issues that he never learned how to address...thats how that kind of thing gets passed down though generations: SOME people don't have the proper emotional sentience to at least TRY to vanquish their own inner demons so instead they inadvertently end up passing them on to their children...and it just goes on and on like that.

I'm 32 years old and am doing a City and Guilds plumbing course in college in the UK. I have had social anxiety for more than 20 years now. This is what my parents said when I started: "You will never be able to do a proper job. You have never done anything like that before;" "Why do you want to do that at your age, they will all laugh at you;" "you shouldn't start that, you always drop out." I could go on forever but just thinking about it is giving me brain damage.

The fact was, that I have passed all the theory exams and have finished my practical assessments. The first two weeks, were hell. I went into the unknown. I didn't know anybody there. Most people there are 16. After that period my anxiety went down. I made a friend or two there and went out with him. I gained confidence then and my emotions kept getting more manageable. After 8 months doing the course, I would say that my anxiety levels have dropped about 70 %. Not bad taking into account how long I have been like this.

You are as young as fck. If I have had this recovery, what results will you have? You must have the drive though. And at your age, it can be hard. A lot of bullying goes on in college and the teachers don't do anything about it. They don't bully me as my age protects me. But if you are under 18 it may happen to you possibly causing your condition to worsen. So you can either wait another year until you are protected by law as an adult or you can start as soon as you wish. So, go back to college or find a job. I can't believe it won't be painful and strenuous. But that is the price you have to pay for your future well-being.

In any case, colleges in the UK should have a free counsellor for you to visit to help you with such issues. It would be a good idea to visit him/her if you have the chance. If you don't have that option, why not read a book about CBT; for example, When Panic Attacks by David Burns. There are many different techniques he offers for you to solve your phobia.

I know how you feel. My mother has been insulting me. Last time she made a very harsh comment on my financial situation, despite the fact that I had been working 16 hours a day, even on weekends and holidays. She became a very cold person, she didn't even care about my sister's birthday at all. She really treats me like a freak. Not to mention I help my parents with taking care of the house and I haven't asked for money for almost an year. My brother and my sisters became narcissists in the last few years and only care about themselves, they never ask how I'm doing. Not to mention I helped them with setting up their own businesses and taking care of my nephews when
they needed.
Imho, in situations like these, we have to focus on our work and studies, avoid fights with family members, keep cool as much as we can, but tell them we want respect as much as they do. I know it can be difficult when you have SA, but we must convert it to motivation to become more independent and move on.

They're probably wondering why your SA prevented you from going to class, but not to a huge convention full of people. They are probably thinking that it's because the latter is fun and the former is work. They see you as spoiled and immature.

Asking them to go to an MLP convention is pretty much the epitome of raising the arrested development flag. I mean-- it's a convention for people who are obsessed with cartoons and horse dolls for 9 year olds. They probably think you want to avoid growing up, and are using SA as an excuse to live like you did when you were 12 or 13, but with more freedom, and all at their expense.

I would also imagine they think that the psychiatrists are full of shit, and that what you really need is to change your attitude and start taking responsibility for things. I'm not sure you'll ever be able to convince them they aren't right about that, because a lot of parents assume that when their kids are involved, they're infallible.

The only way out of this is to move out on your own. If you show them you can provide for yourself, then they won't care what you do. Even if they do care, they won't be able to stop you.

Make that a bigger priority than anything else... including the convention. If nothing else, they'll respect that you're trying to grow as a person and are willing to make sacrifices to get there.

Okay, I read your post and felt so mad about my parents, specifically my mom. I feel like they are in denial about my SA and AvPD. My mom has been positive but yesterday, I got mad and told her how hard it is. Tears, anger, and all came out because I just want her to understand and stop putting so much pressure on me to do better when it's been a struggle. She told me that it must be something because if it weren't, I wouldn't be so angry...

Tell them in a way that will make it so they have no choice but to believe them. I'm not saying scream or hurt anyone. Find a serious way to explain yourself and use examples so they can see what it's like to be in your shoes.

I had to point out how I was making progress even if it's at a snail's pace.

One day, things will be so much better for you that you won't need them to understand you. But for the time being, support is an important part of coping with SA/SP.