People just dislike me. It's a fact.

Does it feel like no one gives a crap what you have to say, or what you do with your life? Even though you feel that your hobbies and interests have value, does it feel like it's all completely irrelevant and people just dislike you?
I feel like this all the time.
So sometimes I try to open up to someone new - but it has no effect on them whatsoever. They just go on not giving a crap and being totally disinterested in me. And then I just feel stupid, because i'm so concerned about what other people think, and you know, people always tell you "Don't worry about what other people think about you, just be yourself."
You assume that if you do that, then people will start to think you're pretty cool.
But its lies, man.
It doesn't matter what I do, people dislike me.
I can not care what they think all I want.
It doesn't change the fact that I can't make friends.

ripewithdecay said:

Does it feel like no one gives a crap what you have to say, or what you do with your life? Even though you feel that your hobbies and interests have value, does it feel like it's all completely irrelevant and people just dislike you?
I feel like this all the time.
So sometimes I try to open up to someone new - but it has no effect on them whatsoever. They just go on not giving a crap and being totally disinterested in me. And then I just feel stupid, because i'm so concerned about what other people think, and you know, people always tell you "Don't worry about what other people think about you, just be yourself."
You assume that if you do that, then people will start to think you're pretty cool.
But its lies, man.
It doesn't matter what I do, people dislike me.
I can not care what they think all I want.
It doesn't change the fact that I can't make friends.

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I used to feel like that a lot. Come to think of it, I'm not really sure what's changed since then to make me see things differently. I guess a lot of it just has to do with 'giving a crap' about yourself... being your own best friend. It gives you a little extra backbone, cause you know that even if everyone deserts you... you've still got the only person you need. That's you, bro.

The best way to get anything is to want it, instead of needing it. When you finally overcome being dependent on making friends, you'll start to make them. I promise!

I'm not sure if people inherently dislike me, but they rarely ever seem to take any interest in me. Most people I encounter (and I don't encounter many for the sake of my own fragile sanity) seem to think I'm odd. I can tell by the looks they give me when I try speaking to them. They may not "dislike" me so to speak, but it's quite obvious that they are disinterested in me and anything I may have to say.

I haven't made a single new friend since I left high school two years ago. In fact, without the old high school pals I still keep in contact with off and on I would have absolutely no friends whatsoever. I didn't really realize this until recently, but when it finally dawned on me I was pretty depressed about it. Especially considering that even those few high school friends are slowly slipping away forever. But that is to be expected.

I understand that I just don't have the confidence or looks to attract new people, so I remain a loner. I also completely understand everything you've said, Ripewithdecay. I can relate so well.

Sometimes I feel like that too. Sometimes I try to make conversation and the other person just gets irritated.

I read a great book called "First Impressions: What You Don't Know About How Others See You," by Ann Demarais & Valerie White. I highly recommend it. It's very well written and won't make you feel bad about yourself. If I could consciously remember the advice in this book when I'm in social situations, I'd have a lot more self-confidence.

The main point to remember is that it's important to show interest in the other person - ask about their lives and care about what they're doing and don't focus on yourself. People will like you better if you can first show that you're interested in them.

In a conversation, its always I did this, I got that or... nothing. For some reason, I find it extremely difficult to ask about others hobbies and values. Also find it difficult to explain/talk about my own. This is a big part of the problem me thinks.

I don't think people disslike me but they think I am boring therefore I can have no friends.

thing is. there so many people in the world, not everyone can like you. thats life, u get people who just dont like the look of ya, i get girls in night clubs trying to start trouble with me coz i am quite pretty i guess..well different looking and i rip it up on the dance floor lol so u see, people can hate u because of good things about yourself!!

its dont matter if u dont talk at all, talk too much, ur fat, r thin etc someone will not like you becauase of it!

i would concentrate on liking yourself. if you like yourself it shows and people r interested to see why u like yourself so much, what is it about themselves they love? no ones interested in why u hate yourself.

Ijwwriter - You said that you don't think you have the looks or the confidence to attract new people! Obviously you're lacking in confidence (and there's loads out there that do!) But as for your looks, if that picture is really you then you have no problems there. You're a handsome looking bloke! lol xxx

Yes i believe that i am disliked by everyone because i feel i have no charisma. The worst thing of all is my belief that girls hate me especially, because i am boring.

Recluse -Stop putting yourself down. I don't know you of course but i bet it's all just n your head. You look like a very personable, friendly, easy-going person! Like who you are, it's your opininon of yourself that matters most.lol xx :evil:

i think recluse u need to look on the bright side more, u say 'because i am boring' like its a fact, when its not! how can anyone else believe in you if you dont believe in yourself.

Indeed, the most attractive thing is confidence.

It is interesting, if you are sitting outside a cafe or something, people watching, the people I tend to give a second look at are those that carry themselves with confidence. It isn't how they appear physically.

Also, we are all different, so whilst some of us may find someone boring, to someone else they will be a kindred.

All this is hard to accept when social interaction is painful, but, I believe so much of it comes down to faith in yourself.

Peace xxx

Man reading all this I can relate too much to people here.
OP... its more to do with what you think then others around you. You keep percieving yourself as boring, so you keep feeling that way. I kept seeing myself as boring too. I couldn't seem to relate to people that much. But there are zillions of people out there, there is bound to be someone who has the same interests as you and you get along with. I know when you're surrounded by people who I don't seem to get along with, it makes it harder to believe but...like others have said you have to be your own best friend.

I feel I'm just too odd too and my interests just don't interest anyone else...but I found someone at work whom I have alot in common with. I'm still worried if she doesn't really like me that much though. Anxiety keeps taking me over. Because I'm not a typical girl its so tough trying to just be interested in others and fit in. I constantly feel I have to change myself to have friends I feel close enough with. The loneliness is a killer....but you work you way though.

(BTW, ljwwriter I dunno what you're talkin' about, you're a good-looking guy if that's your photo, honestly!)