lostwitness
Active member
I am so self-concsious about my voice simply because I have to keep repeating myself to people. Every time someone asks me to repeat what I said I bite my tongue in anger, I can't stand it anymore.
People never understand me - "What?" "Can you
- Thread starter lostwitness
- Start date
qipuqipu
Well-known member
I detest it when people lecture me about this, usually in a really patronising voice, like "YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP OR NO-ONE WILL BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU." Why can't they just say 'pardon?', or whatever, and treat us with some semblance of respect? :evil:
PS - make more topics lostwitness, so I can be the last person to have responded to them
PS - make more topics lostwitness, so I can be the last person to have responded to them
yep. Usually ignore the repeat requests. One reason why: Lot of people ask "what?" then after a pause go on to answer what they didn't hear. Really....
Sorry I couldn't offer any advice.
Sorry I couldn't offer any advice.
MaliceInWickedland
Well-known member
Same here!!!!! Especially at restaurants when the waiter/waitress takes my order I have to repeat myself at least twice and that only makes me all the more anxious. My mom asking me why I talk so low doesn't really help the situation much either...
Shift
Well-known member
I always get embarrassed and start speaking even more quietly every time someone asks me to repeat myself. And if they keep asking over and over then I start hiding my face... under blankets, behind people, buried into the chest of the person I'm talking to, or just avoiding eye contact and turning my head away, which muffles my voice even more...
It's frustrating because I know I am capable of talking louder, but for some reason when I'm in situations like that I just can't do it.
It's frustrating because I know I am capable of talking louder, but for some reason when I'm in situations like that I just can't do it.
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Logical Anxiety
Active member
I was hoping for a thread like this. Says one of my reasons for my SA. I've gotten so many 'huh?'s in my life (alot!) that I avoid talking to people, due to fear of them not hearing me. I do feel like punching the person if they ask me to repeat myself, though they really don't deserve it. My voice is naturally soft, and when I want to speak loud, I usually have to force myself to be loud.
It's caused me some traumatising events in public, and at those times I wanted to die from the embarassment. Seriously, it's like a screw's in my throat; I'm unable to let the 'audible' part of my voice come out.
It's caused me some traumatising events in public, and at those times I wanted to die from the embarassment. Seriously, it's like a screw's in my throat; I'm unable to let the 'audible' part of my voice come out.
JamesSmith
Well-known member
To this day, I really don't get how some people can't tell what I'm saying. I often speak clearly, and i do understand when i say things quietly that people don't hear me, but there have been times where I know for a fact i said things perfectly loud enough and clearly and these people give me this look like I'm speaking a foreign language. I think a reason could be that they are not used to speaking to shy people so they don't understand us, even when we are being understandable.
R3K
Well-known member
you gotta think about the phoenetics and the timing of your words/phrases... sometimes you'll run two words together so that they sound like one, or (in your socially anxious state) you'll trail off the end of a word or sentence and not even notice you're doing it. Also, it doesn't help that in most situations the person you're talking to (clerk, waiter, w/e) is working, rushing and has very few brain-cells to spare toward paying attention to what you're saying... or they're used to dealing with loud and obnoxious people that when a less-than-loud person speaks to them they're not prepared for it.
i started using a lot of facial expressions and bodily gestures when talking to people to combat this issue when i had it. if someone asks me a question i'll purse my lips and stare up at the ceiling like i'm pondering it for a few seconds... this makes them focus on what i'm about to say and helps a little. and i'll stress words randomly and on purpose like--"I guess I'll haaaaaaave the chicken strips with uuuhhh side of ranch." it looks funny reading it on the forums probably, but it works... and it's fun, it's like acting ::.
i started using a lot of facial expressions and bodily gestures when talking to people to combat this issue when i had it. if someone asks me a question i'll purse my lips and stare up at the ceiling like i'm pondering it for a few seconds... this makes them focus on what i'm about to say and helps a little. and i'll stress words randomly and on purpose like--"I guess I'll haaaaaaave the chicken strips with uuuhhh side of ranch." it looks funny reading it on the forums probably, but it works... and it's fun, it's like acting :
:.
just wanna b normal
Well-known member
yeah they be like what? and i have to repeat myself. and it looks like they dont want to listen & i feel like i sound awkward.
Have any of you thought about the OTHER person instead of seeking self pity? Maybe the person you're speaking to actually CAN'T hear you and you do need to speak up. I have hearing problems and I don't need the aggravation of someone whispering to me,
and then having an attitude with me just because I can't hear them. Once all you people join society and stop this self pity ****, then maybe just maybe, you'll see things are not so bad. Or you can continue to live in your shell and be left out. The choice IS yours, your just too damn wrapped up in thinking "the whole worlds against me" to know it.
and then having an attitude with me just because I can't hear them. Once all you people join society and stop this self pity ****, then maybe just maybe, you'll see things are not so bad. Or you can continue to live in your shell and be left out. The choice IS yours, your just too damn wrapped up in thinking "the whole worlds against me" to know it.
Razzlecherry
Banned
Gotta say, that's one helluva first post. Not sure if anyone who posted in this thread is active on the forums anymore though.
FriendlyShadow
Well-known member
This happens a lot to me too. Whenever I talk to people, they always ask me "What?" or "I can't hear you!" question. I honestly can't stand the sound of my voice because I speak like I'm retarded and slow.
I am naturally soft spoken, so being in public makes it worse. I have learned to speak more slowly and emphasis certain words and sometimes use body gestures, although, it is very unnatural for me. I had to repeat myself 5 times for my jamba juice order. The first two times she asked again, then for the rest, just assumed what I said. Sometimes, I don't say anything when my order is wrong, but defiantly have lately because I'm a vegan. As for as waitresses, I've been one and it's frustrating; I can hear well but not understand mush-mouthed folks.
dannyboy65
Well-known member
I hate the sound of my voice. But I keep telling myself it sounds like that because no one has the same voice and that's sort of how I deal with it.
90% of the time I speak to people, they say "what?"
I'm soft spoken and shy. I also rather be unnoticed, so in public I talk just above a whisper. I also talk really fast because when I was younger, my dad would get annoyed at how I always said "um" when telling him stories. He would say "come on! Spit it out!" xD So now I talk fast by default, but I talk even faster when I'm uncomfortable.
I understand why they can't understand me. I don't think it's something I can change though so I deal with it.
I'm soft spoken and shy. I also rather be unnoticed, so in public I talk just above a whisper. I also talk really fast because when I was younger, my dad would get annoyed at how I always said "um" when telling him stories. He would say "come on! Spit it out!" xD So now I talk fast by default, but I talk even faster when I'm uncomfortable.
I understand why they can't understand me. I don't think it's something I can change though so I deal with it.