People who dont undertstand SA/SP

Jodie-Tyler

Well-known member
How do you deal with someone who doesn't understand Social Phobia, or thinks that it is not something that effects our daily life.

I have someone close in my life that thinks SP is some kind of weakness and is an excuse for having an easy life.

It pains me that I can't make them see that it is not something I want or like having.

Have you made someone see it from your point of view / changed their mind?

Kind Regards
Jodie x
 

dmsteyn

Well-known member
Well, I used to have a "friend" (I use the term loosely) who used to exploit my SA to make himself look better (and feel better, I guess). I didn't know that I had SA back then, but he always said that my shyness was merely a sign of weakness.

I'm not sure it's possible to change most people's opinion concerning SA - maybe time will change that, but for now, I think we should just support each other, and try to inform others of the condition.
 

laure15

Well-known member
For some people, you need to break it down for them. It worked for me. My parents used to not understand what's wrong with me. When I get bullied, they tell me to fight back, but that's even harder for me. I finally explained to my father that I have a fear of people, that I would go crazy in social situations because of the fear. He finally understood, I think. SP is not an excuse for being weak. You need to tell your friend that SP is an actual medical disorder recognized by psychiatrists and medical associations worldwide. Maybe send your friend a link to

NIMH · Social Phobia (Social Anxiety Disorder)

or some credible medical website that explains what SP is.
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
How do you deal with someone who doesn't understand Social Phobia, or thinks that it is not something that effects our daily life.

I have someone close in my life that thinks SP is some kind of weakness and is an excuse for having an easy life.

It pains me that I can't make them see that it is not something I want or like having.

Have you made someone see it from your point of view / changed their mind?

Kind Regards
Jodie x

Hi Jodie! You've already explained it to them. If they cared enough, there's enough information on the internet for them to research. I guess you have to question whether or not they're worth keeping in your life. I would never tell anyone in my family because they're simply too ignorant and stubborn to change their views.
 

onehandclapping

Well-known member
yea I agree, sometimes its better to move onto to people that will understand you better. you deserve the respect of people being able to understand your condition and giving you support rather than someone who will patronize you. you can only explain things and point things out to them, show them the truth, if they refuse to see it then they aren't worth keeping around.
hth
 

mikebird

Banned
if they don't suffer it, they shouldn't have to know about it or be willing to understand anyone who has it!!

Simple life. Easy. Smile

However we all die. they will

It surprises me how experts in the professional area of psychology: medical: aphasia - recovery from stroke, etc... to remember where you are: date. Aphonia when you can't hear or speak... don't have adequate understanding

and psychologists in "sales & marketing" and pushing others out of society by believing they are not worthy...

I think these part-science and part-arts are not complete, as research or willingness to understand, or be interested

which shows a clear boundary / separation of coexistence. Safari and zookeeper experts do know about big animals who are easily capable of killing them, while they do feed the and care for them, or farmers, wouldn't know what a raw skinned antelope would taste like for a tiger.

But clever lawyers and doctors, and especially recruiters - the worst exhibition of crime. It's all whiffy :idontknow: :confused: :thinking:
theory.

If a queen had a gun popped into her mouth, or a prince got kicked in the nuts, they might be surprised, or if their special royal homes were bombed...

A homeless person might have attained a clear knowledge of how certain high-class people live. Middle-class and working-class people with nice homes and private transit never had to make any effort. Happiness is all free by default, unless you put a foot wrong
 
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lonelee1

Well-known member
How do you deal with someone who doesn't understand Social Phobia, or thinks that it is not something that effects our daily life.

I have someone close in my life that thinks SP is some kind of weakness and is an excuse for having an easy life.

It pains me that I can't make them see that it is not something I want or like having.

Have you made someone see it from your point of view / changed their mind?

Kind Regards
Jodie x


i know the feeling. just don't care what this person thinks, i guess. which is part of the whole problem of SA is caring what others think....

sometimes you don't have to explain bc people can already tell you're shy. others don't understand why we can't just 'let go' or 'talk' or whatever it is we're supposed to be doing.

explain to this person once, and if they don't understand, they don't understand. its your battle, not theirs anyway. don't let their opinions affect you
 

WishingICould

Well-known member
I have a feeling that if I said I have SA they'd just exclude me even more. I've tried to tell my mum I think I have SA and what it is but she just sort of brushes it off and says I just lack confidence. I don't think she wants to think of her daughter as being mentally ill.
 

onehandclapping

Well-known member
if they don't suffer it, they shouldn't have to know about it or be willing to understand anyone who has it!!

Simple life. Easy. Smile

However we all die. they will

well thats your opinion and your way of looking at things,I can't say I agree, there are people that need support and understanding from others.
 

Ithior

Well-known member
I sort of agree that SA is a weakness and is sometimes used as an excuse to not put effort into some things (I know I use it to talk myself out of doing certain things).
It doesn't make it any less serious or any less of a problem though. SA is just as serious as depression or other mental conditions that people seem to care about these days.

The problem is that people probably just take it as the same thing as being nervous when making a presentation in front of the class or something.
 

rocky_oreo

Active member
I was able to change my parents mind about it. They always thought it was due to laziness and shyness and that the shyness would just disappear when I got older. It never happened. I researched it online and wrote them a letter. When they read the letter they realised it was more than they made it out to be. We went to the doctor and had a long chat and now they fully understand it. I only tell the people in my life about it that need to know such as my partners mum. I don't think she really knows the full extent as she seems to think it's just shyness but she supports me when we go out
 

williamreinsch

Well-known member
How do you deal with someone who doesn't understand Social Phobia, or thinks that it is not something that effects our daily life.

I have someone close in my life that thinks SP is some kind of weakness and is an excuse for having an easy life.

It pains me that I can't make them see that it is not something I want or like having.

Have you made someone see it from your point of view / changed their mind?

Kind Regards
Jodie x

Yes! I have had this exact same problem with my father, he did not understand SA for quite some time, it took a lot of explaining to him before It got through to him. He would tell me the only reason i'm like that is because i'm not eating the right foods and exercising enough. How wrong he was.

But we get on fine now and he understands the gist of it. He's just overly confident in social situations which makes it hard for him to relate.

This person in your life who is saying SA is an excuse for having an easy life needs to understand otherwise they could be a bad influence on your getting better. I have been so close to suicide because of SA and I know so many people who have too. My dad finally understood how bad it was when it was nearly too late. I think that shook him up and made him stop forcing his opinions onto me which were making matters worse.

It's important to have your close ones on your team. It took a lot for my dad to change his mind and accept what i was saying, but some people take longer to change than others and some might never change :(

But all the best to you! I hope this has helped :) We can beat SA! :)

We will all get through SA together!
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Generally I've had people who where terrifically understanding, and others (thankfully few) who had pretty much exploited my SA.
For those who supported, I thanked them, and tried to not keep putting it in front of their face.
For those who weren't supportive, I learned to not care about their opinions.
Basically in a nutshell that is what I have learned to do.
Not give crap about those dud people or their opinions.

If you focus on the things things that you don't want to see/hear, that's all you will see.
 
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