People who treat you like a joke
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Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
whenever i feel like i'm being held back and become bitter at other people for their blessings in life (i.e. NOT having SA) i just try and remember that everyone has their demons. everyone has to deal with something and this is just the cards we were delt. it's all in how you deal with it in return that makes us all unique.
and trust me, i know it's easier said than done. that's why i rarely tell people about it b/c there is a stigma against mental illness. just keep your head up and if you really feel like you're being laughed at (truely), then you have the right to say something. don't take it. and remember that THEY are the ones with the character flaws, and in the process you've gained an open mind, something they obviously don't have.
and trust me, i know it's easier said than done. that's why i rarely tell people about it b/c there is a stigma against mental illness. just keep your head up and if you really feel like you're being laughed at (truely), then you have the right to say something. don't take it. and remember that THEY are the ones with the character flaws, and in the process you've gained an open mind, something they obviously don't have.
Chilling Echo, I know I should keep in mind that these people are close-minded and that if anyone should be ashamed it's them, but it's hard for me sometimes because it feels like it's me against everyone I come in contact with. The problem with defending myself is there seems to be a ten minute lag on my brain :roll:
Chilling__Echo
Well-known member
especially since they are family, i know it hurts, you have quite the predicament there... 
lsgv
Member
Today i was in a get together with some other friends. I feel they always talk about me looking sad and lonely and keep observing me. Some times they make indirect comments that hurts you.
How to takle such situations. I also feel that my brain has a 10 min lag and until i understand what was said, the subject has already been changed. That time i feel so crappy and i know they are idiots in their own way but i feel sad as i couldn't answer them back. Also, since they are all united, it is difficult for me say something against each and every one. IT will only back fire and things will get only worse. It seems they have more power since i am left alone.
I don't always keep quiet. Sometimes i say how miserable they are, but only when i am one to one. In a group it is always difficult to tackle such a situation, since i am not good in conversing and talking aloud, so that can be heard
I feel really bad during such times..I want to leave all of them..but since they are the only friends that i have, i try to swallow my pride and just move, even though i am hurt.
Do you have any solution how to deal with such encounters? Any ideas.
How to takle such situations. I also feel that my brain has a 10 min lag and until i understand what was said, the subject has already been changed. That time i feel so crappy and i know they are idiots in their own way but i feel sad as i couldn't answer them back. Also, since they are all united, it is difficult for me say something against each and every one. IT will only back fire and things will get only worse. It seems they have more power since i am left alone.
I don't always keep quiet. Sometimes i say how miserable they are, but only when i am one to one. In a group it is always difficult to tackle such a situation, since i am not good in conversing and talking aloud, so that can be heard
I feel really bad during such times..I want to leave all of them..but since they are the only friends that i have, i try to swallow my pride and just move, even though i am hurt.
Do you have any solution how to deal with such encounters? Any ideas.
blubs
Well-known member
I have that *10 minute brain lag * too!
sometimes I think its because I am just slow-witted....
but its more likely(I HOPE!) that when you're nervous or anxious, its harder to concentrate fully on what is being said. It can make you a bit of a target sometimes though.....because people pick up that you're less likely to have a comeback that will make them look bad.
But it doesn't mean that everyone that has ever said anything to put you on the spot is an idiot, or mean. They're just having a laugh. I don't think it helps to think of yourself as always the victim of other people. They probably don't even know you're affected so much by what they say.
I read a good piece of advice by a lovely man who's name I can't remember...but he wrote the t.v. series 'Rumpole of the baily'(think thats it .....never watched it)....
ANYWAY.....he said....WORRY LESS ABOUT BEING OFFENDED or CAUSING OFFENCE.
Which I think is good advice to people with social phobia, because we are often too sensitive.
He also suggested starting the day with a glass of champaign
which is advice I would happily take if I had the money!
sometimes I think its because I am just slow-witted....
but its more likely(I HOPE!) that when you're nervous or anxious, its harder to concentrate fully on what is being said. It can make you a bit of a target sometimes though.....because people pick up that you're less likely to have a comeback that will make them look bad.
But it doesn't mean that everyone that has ever said anything to put you on the spot is an idiot, or mean. They're just having a laugh. I don't think it helps to think of yourself as always the victim of other people. They probably don't even know you're affected so much by what they say.
I read a good piece of advice by a lovely man who's name I can't remember...but he wrote the t.v. series 'Rumpole of the baily'(think thats it .....never watched it)....
ANYWAY.....he said....WORRY LESS ABOUT BEING OFFENDED or CAUSING OFFENCE.
Which I think is good advice to people with social phobia, because we are often too sensitive.
He also suggested starting the day with a glass of champaign
which is advice I would happily take if I had the money!
Carina33
Well-known member
I know exactly what it is..... I can only talk comfortably to people that I know very well. All others think there is something wrong with me and that I am less of a person just because I cannot talk to them. I know that I am a bit of a joke when I am seen doing something that only "normal people" would be doing. I try not to let it worry me..... too much.
I seem to have that problem too though. Whenever I am just meeting people and am feeling really uncomfortable, it's as if I can't hear them just like they can't hear me. It's as if a lot of what they are saying just doesn't enter my mind. It is so difficult to overcome.
I seem to have that problem too though. Whenever I am just meeting people and am feeling really uncomfortable, it's as if I can't hear them just like they can't hear me. It's as if a lot of what they are saying just doesn't enter my mind. It is so difficult to overcome.
LittleMissScareAll
Well-known member
Definitely...people have always made fun of me because I'm quiet. Even my grandma has said alot of mean, cruel things about my quietness...saying I'm a loser who can't even carry on a conversation. :x And even alot of therapists & psychiatrists I've been to, I feel that they're making fun of me. :evil: Which is why I usually end up not going back to them. I've never found a psychiatrist or therapist who has been helpful at all, or who has cared about helping. Obviously nobody understands unless they have the exact same problem.
As far as the ten minute brain lag, I also feel like I'm just not processing what's going on around me, or maybe I'm just processing it slower than everyone else. So that sometimes I come across like I'm not too bright :roll: I don't know how to prevent it, sometimes what I'll do is just blurt things out, or talk quickly and hope nobody knows the difference. I think I'm hoping that if I talk fast before I can really think about it I'll bypass whatever part of my brain tries to analyze everything to death.
I like your quote blubs about not worrying about being offended, I've actually gotten much better at it over the years. The whole thing with my family just hurt my feelings, because they were so obvious about it, it made me feel like they didn't respect me. but this isn't the first time they did that so I don't know why I was surprised
Anyway, thanks for listening, I appreciate it
I like your quote blubs about not worrying about being offended, I've actually gotten much better at it over the years. The whole thing with my family just hurt my feelings, because they were so obvious about it, it made me feel like they didn't respect me. but this isn't the first time they did that so I don't know why I was surprised
Anyway, thanks for listening, I appreciate it